Just Who Is At The Bottom Of A Bottle – Daily Prompt – All About Me

Just Who Is In The Bottom Of A Bottle – Daily Prompt – All About Me

This one is right up my street, what does ‘The Bottom Of A Bottle’ mean,  it’s a no brainer really.

I AM A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC

When life got too much, when my work had all but disappeared, when money had become a bad dream, I dived deeper in to a bottle and sank in free fall all the way to ‘The Bottom Of A Bottle’.

I stayed there for nearly two and half years, until I realised my life was all but over in the state I was in, my partner rejected me, our 15 year relationship was over and I felt like my life was over with it.

After that evening when I finally heard my worst dreams come to reality, I stopped living, I stopped eating, I was existing and drinking only, until I found myself sat in my bathroom with a penknife at my wrist, I was ready to go.

But I couldn’t do it, I had all the bad thoughts, I was useless, I couldn’t provide for my family, they were better off without me, the world was better off without me.  One thought stopped me, that it would be one of my kids that would find me, that they shouldn’t have to live with that and it would be better for them to live with me as I am.

The following day I sought a meeting with my now Pastor, to try to make some sense out of everything, I turned to God.

On 29th March 2012 I took my last drink, I’ve been sober ever since, today is my 320th SoberDay and my world is so much better, my journey with God has been amazing.

I look back on that Sunday 18th March 2012 and I am convinced that on that day there was no way I could go through with suicide, I know now that God protected me, he wouldn’t let me, he held my wrists and whispered in my ear, he whispered the only thought that would stop me.

Ever since I’ve been making this journey from ‘The Bottom Of A Bottle’ I’m fighting all the way, I’ve made it out and I AM NOT GOING BACK.

Searching for a crack of light
But it seems to be changing
Is the sun leaving the sky
Or is it me that is fading
In the dark unseen
I know you search for me
I feel you drawing near
You fight my fear
(Escape by Fireflight)

13 thoughts on “Just Who Is At The Bottom Of A Bottle – Daily Prompt – All About Me

  1. Pingback: Daily Prompt – All About Me – The (Mostly True) Origin Story of TooFullToWrite | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

  2. Jo

    I really admire you and enjoy reading your blog very much. It takes great strength of character to recognise and deal with any addiction and I feel sure reading your blog that you have fought your demons and your future is very bright. I wish you strength and look forward to sharing your journey.

    Reply
    1. waynemali Post author

      Thank You Jo,
      Your comments are very kind and you are more than welcome to share my journey with me, keep popping by, I intend to keep writing.
      Thanks again
      Wayne

      Reply
  3. Pingback: Daily Prompt: All About Me … The beginning of Lent | Fasting, Food and other musings by determined34

    1. waynemali Post author

      Diane
      Thank you, I guess we never realise just how much our God is with us, he was there all along for us without us ever knowing.
      Praise God for saving us both.
      Wayne

      Reply
  4. Lori Lara

    You’ve made up your mind. That’s the biggest key to living well. God speed to you, my friend. May he strengthen your resolve as you share your real story with all of us. You’re helping others speak the truth about their own pain and struggles in their lives. Freedom comes from risk. You risk well. :)

    Reply
    1. waynemali Post author

      Hi Lori
      The key to facing a problem is to accept the you have one in the first place, that decision took some coming to, but I am so glad I made it, life is so much better.
      I truly believe I was challenged by God to tell my story whatever the cost, so I’m just going with it.
      Thank you so much for your kind comments.
      Wayne

      Reply
  5. Pingback: Daily Prompt: All About Me | My.Vivid.Visions

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s