Am I the only one who joked about their drinking and all that went along with it, all the time doing so without really realising that there was a problem here.
Was the joking a way of trivialising it, I don’t know, I can only assume it was, I joked about many things about my drinking.
One thing I joked about and talked about on many occasions was what I called my beer shelf. I guess most men who have drank a lot and formed the well rounded beer belly like I did, will maybe, associate with this.
The beer belly, just seems to form, it’s just there sticking out, you don’t seem to put weight on all round, it just sits there below the rib cage and poking out above the waist line.
It really does just stick out there, but when it does it forms the perfect “Beer Shelf”, the perfect place to rest a pint. When your stood in a crowded bar with friends, with a pint glass, in my case strong lager or cider, it can make your arm ache after a while, so you look to take some of the weight of your arm, after all you need the strength for the all night session, so what better place to rest your pint than on your very own “Beer Shelf”.
I beat myself up a bit these days, as these thoughts come into my mind as I walk in the mornings, I have an amount of anger with myself, that I could make fun of my drinking, but I still never realised the serious situation that was brewing.
I have a demon in me
It shows its teeth and escapes
when I impatiently speak
that’s when i make my mistakes
It seems I’m prone to abuse
(Cheap Shots by The Classic Crime)
When I looked in the mirror before, I saw this mess I was becoming, but I was trapped by my inability to handle the situations surrounding me, I wanted to sort myself out, but when the night time rolled around, I couldn’t face the nightmares that would follow if I dared not to drink, the madness just kept rolling around, every twenty four hours.
The image of me on the left was taken in July 2011, it shows the “Beer Shelf” in all it’s glory, on this day it became a medal shelf carrying a silver medal, all other times it was a beer shelf. The image on the right was taken on Sunday 4th November 2012, it shows the changes I have made, since closing the cage on the monster and quitting the drink.
I am glad to say, that having been sober since the 29th March 2012, having exercised and walked so much, together with the reduced calorie intake from not drinking, that “Beer Shelf” has gone, my stomach is back to being flat. I’m not joking about the “Beer Shelf” anymore or the other joke of “I don’t have a six pack, I went for the full barrel”, I’m showing the world I am reborn, a new man, I’m in the same skin, but the contents within have been rebuilt!