Am I the only one who joked about their drinking and all that went along with it, all the time doing so without really realising that there was a problem here.
Was the joking a way of trivialising it, I don’t know, I can only assume it was, I joked about many things about my drinking.
One thing I joked about and talked about on many occasions was what I called my beer shelf. I guess most men who have drank a lot and formed the well rounded beer belly like I did, will maybe, associate with this.
The beer belly, just seems to form, it’s just there sticking out, you don’t seem to put weight on all round, it just sits there below the rib cage and poking out above the waist line.
It really does just stick out there, but when it does it forms the perfect “Beer Shelf”, the perfect place to rest a pint. When your stood in a crowded bar with friends, with a pint glass, in my case strong lager or cider, it can make your arm ache after a while, so you look to take some of the weight of your arm, after all you need the strength for the all night session, so what better place to rest your pint than on your very own “Beer Shelf”.
I beat myself up a bit these days, as these thoughts come into my mind as I walk in the mornings, I have an amount of anger with myself, that I could make fun of my drinking, but I still never realised the serious situation that was brewing.
I have a demon in me
It shows its teeth and escapes
when I impatiently speak
that’s when i make my mistakes
It seems I’m prone to abuse
(Cheap Shots by The Classic Crime)
When I looked in the mirror before, I saw this mess I was becoming, but I was trapped by my inability to handle the situations surrounding me, I wanted to sort myself out, but when the night time rolled around, I couldn’t face the nightmares that would follow if I dared not to drink, the madness just kept rolling around, every twenty four hours.
The image of me on the left was taken in July 2011, it shows the “Beer Shelf” in all it’s glory, on this day it became a medal shelf carrying a silver medal, all other times it was a beer shelf. The image on the right was taken on Sunday 4th November 2012, it shows the changes I have made, since closing the cage on the monster and quitting the drink.
I am glad to say, that having been sober since the 29th March 2012, having exercised and walked so much, together with the reduced calorie intake from not drinking, that “Beer Shelf” has gone, my stomach is back to being flat. I’m not joking about the “Beer Shelf” anymore or the other joke of “I don’t have a six pack, I went for the full barrel”, I’m showing the world I am reborn, a new man, I’m in the same skin, but the contents within have been rebuilt!
Good for you Wayne, that’s awesome!
Oh yeah, I too joked about my drinking and my “bottomless wine glass”. It just is what it is. The good news is we never have to go back to that life.
What a difference between the two photos! Rock on. 🙂
I had other jokes, as my post Meet “Fun Bobby”. I’m glad you are free from that life too, it’s not been easy at times, but well worth all the pain.
Good for you!
I totally relate to everything you said in this post. It was always easier to laugh off how horribly drunk I was at an event than to admit what the sad reality of it was.
I’m only five months sober, but there’s already a significant change in my weight, motivation, energy, etc. It’s great!
Thank you Porkchop
Good going on your five months, it just keeps getting better, keep going.
Wow what a difference. Your hard work inside and out shows.
Thank you eelami
Still would like to lose a little more, but I am comfortable with who I am now.
My big joking point was always that transitional stage between ‘no drink’ and the ‘the first drink.’ You know, heading into Happy Hour after a day at the job (if we were employed,) and being SO ready for a drink that you’d chew your own arm off just to get it in you. Saying things like, “I’d step over a dead body for a merlot right now.” Or something like that. And everyone at the table or bar chuckles knowingly. What we’re really saying is that we are so painfully addicted that we need that drink immediately or we’re going to die.
I had those lines and the relief that first drink brought to me was so good, I would have stepped over a dead body for it, but now I am free from that.
I never thought of like that but I guess I was papering over the cracks with jokes, hiding my addiction.
Damn. That picture speaks volumes. Congrats on your progress man.
Thank you Becca,
You look great! Keep up the hard work!
Thank you and I certainly will, I never want to go back to that!
Congrats! You look amazing! Do a check on your eyes…the windows to your soul. There’s a HUGE difference in them. They reflect peace. There’s a transition time between the end of addiction and being totally free. Just keep filling up the space that drinking once had with the deeper things in life along with more and more of what you enjoy. Freedom Road is pretty liberating and glorious! Just don’t take any detours and you will have no worries!
Thank you so much for your kind comments.
I keep trying to walk my path with God and fill the void with my new found faith, each week gets better, I feel better, look better and I am sure act better.
Thankyou so much
Wayne
God was the One who brought me back too…five years ago! I’m happy to hear that He’s on your team. With Him, ALL is possible. Keep holding His Hand 🙂