Over the last few weeks the content of my Blog posts has been varied to say the least. It crossed my mind earlier today whether some of these posts actually belong in The Bottom Of A Bottle, they don’t match the content or the original purpose that I set out with for this Blog. I got to wondering about starting another or even two other Blogs, one for a home for my new found love of poetry and the other to house the quaint British humour I often attempt, none of these really seem to fit with my recovery stories.
But then I realised something, well actually they do fit, because they are me, they came out of that Bottle as part of me, did I have them with me in the Bottle, the humour definitely yes, the poetry must have been there somewhere, hidden.
It obviously took sobriety to unearth a love and will to write, especially the poetry, having removed the layers of artificial need to make myself feel good, I find hidden away below something that makes me feel good anyway, writing.
My recent poetry has mainly been quite painful in content, that’s why I believe it belongs in 2012, a year where I open up and reveal my pain to the world in an attempt rid myself of the guilt I harbour within. I hope 2013 will become the year I can stride forward with my life, put that pain behind me and move on, I know it won’t be an over night thing but that’s my plan, move forward with hope and faith.
My only New Years Resolution will be to allocate my time better, mainly to make sure I set aside some time each day for reading the Bible. As part of that I intend to post once a week on what I read from the Bible that week and what it means to me, that’s the plan anyway.
I still have many stories and feelings about my sobriety and recovery, there are many stories about my Karate journey to tell as well.
The poetry will I hope continue to flow, so I will continue to post my poems. Quite honestly, I think one or two have been okay, but on the whole I don’t think they have been that good or maybe that’s my insecure self rising to the surface, I’ve said a few times I am more unsure of posting my poetry than my inner most secrets, it’s odd I know, but it’s how I feel, but nonetheless I will push on, keep writing and keep posting.
The humour is something I enjoy, I know my views on many things have changed over the course of 2012, but to be quite honest I still like a good fart joke, my kids do too, I have to admit farting in our house is an art form, it has to be done with timing and/or a performance, sorry but it’s true, we like a good fart and a good laugh, that doesn’t mean I am going to relentlessly post fart gags, but just my weird and sometimes wonderful sense of humour.
Whatever the content or the subject, it is all part of me, all rising up out of my heart, now that my heart and mind are beginning to coming back in rhythm with each other, now the fog of the alcohol has dispersed and the mind is free to believe and heart free to love and both come together in hope.
The song for every one with this post is A Better Way by Downhere.
It’s everything You’ve promised
There’s no greater love than this
From prophets until today
A man laying down His life for His friends
Your sacrifice has spoken
You gave everything
And “I love you” could not be said
A better way
(A Better Way by Downhere)
So here’s to a fantastic 2013, I hope you stay with me on the journey, so Happy New Year and a wonderful 2013.
Oh by the way, pop back later for the “Review of 2012 The Bottom Of A Bottle Way”