It’s been a long first week back in the World of Wayne (I wrote it this way, because if I had a pound for every time I had heard it the other way I would be a little richer than I am now), after the lazy Christmas break I really was ready to get back into the swing of things, it just hit me like a ton of bricks to be brutally honest.
The break over Christmas was both good and bad, Christmas went better than I could ever have hoped, I expected to spend most of Christmas and New Year alone, fighting the urge to drink and all the other stupid things I would do to make myself feel better, just like the previous years when I was my own company and that was ok, as long as the beast was with me, I was ok I didn’t really need anybody else, a sad existence, but I couldn’t help it back then, I was trapped within a habit and addiction, just simply losing the will to live as each day went by, but this year was so different.
But as long as the break went on, then the more the old parts of my character, that I thought I had walked away from, started to resurface, not the drinking, I kept that under control, I really didn’t have the urge to drink at all, surprising but I didn’t, it was just the more I stayed within these four walls, the more I got trapped by them and the lazier I seemed to get, days with no purpose aren’t great for me, I have to have routine and purpose to function correctly.
At least the Blogging was there for me, I so enjoyed all the writing and reading all your wonderful Blogs, all the comments and the responses, it was great to share that time with some people who I may never meet, but have become some of my most treasured friends, I thank you all for being there with me, through a testing time.
The early part of this week was very busy, I work from 7.30am to 5pm, then after that I went to do some work for my old employer, by the time I got back and had my tea on Monday, that was it I was fast a sleep by 8.30pm, I was gone, I woke for a short time to respond to some comments, then back to sleep before waking at 5.20am the next morning to go for my walk and start again. That evening I went again to my former employers, came home had tea, got changed and went to karate to teach for 2½ hours, it was gone 11pm when I got back home and then went pretty much straight to sleep.
Wednesday night had a similar pattern, work, more work after that, tea and then I went out to meet my friend Alex for a chat. Alex you may remember came with Gareth that day when my life changed, that morning I made that phone call and the evening they both sat with me as I broke down was 300 hundred days ago today, so it was fitting I guess that I met with Alex this week to discuss my progress since then, I enjoyed our meeting and look forward to doing it again.
As you all know I managed a quick post on Thursday just to let everyone know I was OK, that was followed by an hour at Church with the A.V. Team and the 1½ hours of karate, before bed and a little more sleep.
On Friday nights I teach karate straight after work, this class I actually get paid to teach, all the other four times a week I teach for the love of it, not money, but to just pass on what I have learnt. But Fridays classes can be stressful, I have two classes with my assistant Steve, the first class may only be 45 minutes, but it has four to seven year olds, most of them are okay as long as you keep their attention, but there are a couple that just push the boundaries, they have no intention of learning and just create havoc, so 26 young kids and a couple of tearaways after a long tiring week can test the patients just a little. The second class is for seven to fifteen year olds, who thankfully are very eager to learn, that class balances the first and brings me back down to normality.
Needless to say I was so tired last night, but I managed a quick poem about being tired of all things and today I am getting back into the swing of things, work this morning only until twelve and then karate this afternoon, so now I can rest, write something, catch up on some of your blogs and then crash for the evening, ready for a three hour walk at 5am tomorrow morning, ain’t life great!
Oh and I managed to take a few more photos of the sun rise over Blue Lake this morning, so different to ones from Sunday, although I took these on my iPhone, so they are quite as good quality as the others.
I will have my camera with me tomorrow morning to capture a sun rise if it is visible, the weather men say it may snow, which will be fun if it does, I can’t wait!
On the altar of our praise
Let there be no higher name
Jesus Son of God
You laid down Your perfect life
You are the sacrifice
Jesus Son of God
You are Jesus Son of God
(Jesus, Son of God by Chris Tomlin & Christy Nockels)