Ever

Ever

Ever felt like your drowning
Struggled for that next breathe
Like life is slowly eroding
Emptiness is all that’s left

Ever felt that you’re utterly lost
Alone and in need of a lift
Can’t face all that’s ahead
Broken by all you have lost

Ever reached out for a drink
When it all becomes too much
It’s the only thing that helps
To feel normal in the chaos

Ever scratched at your hands
Or paced around your house
Trying to resist that craving
To fight an urge of an addict

Ever fell asleep with a drink in hand
Still holding on to precious glass
Finished it off before sunrise
As you wake to start your day

Ever shut the world from your view
Closed the curtains on outside life
Hidden yourself from prying eyes
Afraid to show what you’ve become

Ever experienced all of these things
Then you’ve sank right down
You’ve fallen along with me
To the Bottom Of A Bottle

15 thoughts on “Ever

  1. Kelly Hartland

    Great poem! – it evokes a response… so here I am.
    There are a lot of feelings I can relate to in this amazing poem; except for the drink part. However, now, I marvel some evenings; with a touch of mirth as I hold a glass of red – just how I went through the hardest years of my life (so far), without even a glass of wine to dull it.
    But I don’t want to deviate too much from your poem, by relating only aspects of my journey.

    You have described, in fantastic descriptive language, what I can only imagine, how addiction must feel. Well done.

    Reply
    1. waynemali Post author

      Kelly
      Thank you so much, I think everyone can relate to many of the lines of my poem, if not nearly all of them, sometimes we fall back to a comfort zone when we face trials, I just fell back too far.
      I am so glad you enjoyed the poem, thank you for your kind words.
      Wayne

      Reply
      1. Kelly Hartland

        Ahh, yes – true.
        Addiction touches every soul, we all suffer from unresolved need; some of us are addicted to socially acceptable varieties, and we easily overlook our own ‘addictions’; it all serves the same purpose though, no matter the brand… ‘comfort zone’ is a great description.

        Reply
    1. waynemali Post author

      Thanks Lori
      I am still counting my SoberDays and looking forward to a SoberYear, the struggle with the addiction gets easier, it’s just my busy, tiring and complex life that wears me down sometimes.
      Thanks again
      Wayne

      Reply
  2. thoughtsfromanamericanwoman

    As I read the ending I thought for me I fell beside the bottle….thinking of my dad as he found himself on the bottom of the bottle. I always wished I was older to help him through his pain during that time.

    Reply
    1. waynemali Post author

      Patty
      I am so sorry that you have had to go through that with your Father, I feel for you.
      Please don’t be too hard on yourself, when many alcoholics hit that bottom there is no way you can help them, they don’t want any help, I didn’t until I couldn’t find my way out, I wanted to end the pain, but couldn’t, luckily I chose to fight.
      Wayne

      Reply
      1. Patty B

        in a sense dad did too. I remember twice he almost ended his pain. He was a good dad – he had so much pain (emotional). I want to thank you for writing your blog, you are helping me in more ways than you know.

        Reply

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