Just Who Is In The Bottom Of A Bottle – Daily Prompt – All About Me
This one is right up my street, what does ‘The Bottom Of A Bottle’ mean, it’s a no brainer really.
I AM A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC
When life got too much, when my work had all but disappeared, when money had become a bad dream, I dived deeper in to a bottle and sank in free fall all the way to ‘The Bottom Of A Bottle’.
I stayed there for nearly two and half years, until I realised my life was all but over in the state I was in, my partner rejected me, our 15 year relationship was over and I felt like my life was over with it.
After that evening when I finally heard my worst dreams come to reality, I stopped living, I stopped eating, I was existing and drinking only, until I found myself sat in my bathroom with a penknife at my wrist, I was ready to go.
But I couldn’t do it, I had all the bad thoughts, I was useless, I couldn’t provide for my family, they were better off without me, the world was better off without me. One thought stopped me, that it would be one of my kids that would find me, that they shouldn’t have to live with that and it would be better for them to live with me as I am.
The following day I sought a meeting with my now Pastor, to try to make some sense out of everything, I turned to God.
On 29th March 2012 I took my last drink, I’ve been sober ever since, today is my 320th SoberDay and my world is so much better, my journey with God has been amazing.
I look back on that Sunday 18th March 2012 and I am convinced that on that day there was no way I could go through with suicide, I know now that God protected me, he wouldn’t let me, he held my wrists and whispered in my ear, he whispered the only thought that would stop me.
Ever since I’ve been making this journey from ‘The Bottom Of A Bottle’ I’m fighting all the way, I’ve made it out and I AM NOT GOING BACK.
Searching for a crack of light
But it seems to be changing
Is the sun leaving the sky
Or is it me that is fading
In the dark unseen
I know you search for me
I feel you drawing near
You fight my fear
(Escape by Fireflight)