I know that’s not a particularly polite title, but it’s the one I kept coming back too, I tried for something different, but I just returned to “Poetry Dump”, I added the Prayer Vision after I decided to share something I would normally hide!
Yesterday the exhaustion of last week and the lack of sleep at the weekend, after receiving the news of my Nanna’s passing, well it caught up with me and took a big swipe at me. During the morning, whilst at work, my energy just disappeared, I was spent, I ached and felt I just had to get out of there. My Boss gave me the rest of the week off and I return home, a quick salad for dinner and then much needed sleep!!!!
On awaking I picked up my phone and instantly went for the notepad feature, I don’t know why? I often prepare early drafts of posts or poems on my phone, just as I am now whilst in the bath (sorry if you are now suffering from disturbing visions!), but on there I found a number of poems drafted between mid February and March this year. I honestly don’t remember writing two of these and vaguely remember writing the third one, which was incidentally the oldest of the three.
I’m not sure without reading my journals from the days they were written where my head was, why or what inspired me to write them, either good or bad, I just don’t know why I wrote them and then abandoned them.
Quite often I don’t connect with the poems I’m trying to write, so I just leave them, if it doesn’t for the most part write itself, it’s not for writing! Sometimes I return to them and find the words needed to complete them, but these were fairly complete, I added on a verse to “Because You Promise”, the last verse just to finish it, I rearranged or edited the other two, albeit only minor changes, then uploaded them one by one, in other words instead of leaving them abandoned for no one to see, I dumped them on my blog.
Some of my poetry, as I have said before, I don’t really like or connect with, when reading them back I just can’t reconnect with where I was at the time I wrote it. Others grow on me, especially when my faithful followers find something within the words I fail to see myself, others I love from the beginning, they maybe don’t get the responses some of my other work does, but I feel those words every time I read them back.
I have written a number of poems that haven’t appeared on here, personal words of thank you to friends who have been there for me on my journey over this last year, they are personal and directly written for the recipient, it is theirs now to do with what they wish.
There is one other that remains complete in my rough note book of poems, read only by me, but not for me, for Victoria, will I ever find the courage to pass it on to it’s intended owner, who knows? Maybe?
I prayed for us again last night, I saw a vision of her upside down, I asked God what that meant, why was she upside down, after a brief pause, the image of rotated around slowly until she was upright again.
If I’ve read this vision correctly, I see her world as being upside right now, messed up somewhat, but to wait and God will turn it around, He will stand her back up the right way again, I just have to endure and be patient, hold on to his promise.
I very often write something like this, then erase it, but not today, I’m going to share it with you all.
And all you are you cannot fall
You move the world, you have it all
You cannot fall, you cannot fall
Now here we are, going down, down, down
We can turn this around, it’s who we are
And now here we are, going down, down, down
Will we turn this around or fall apart?
And now here we are, looking down, down, down
We can turn this around, it’s who we are?
(Who We Are by Evans Blue)