The Jitters Have Returned!

I knew it would be a long day today, I thought I would end up doing at least a couple of hours work this evening, but I didn’t expect to still be working at almost 10pm!

Yesterday afternoon I spent five hours on some drawings for the Architects, I knew there was still a little bit more to do, but didn’t think it would take too long to finish it this evening.  But I guess I really under estimated it, after finishing my day job at 5pm, I went straight there and started again.

Where the time went I don’t really know, the hours just seemed to pass until I finally completed what I needed to do, I got the layouts set up and eventually left at just before 10pm, not bad to say I left the house at 7am this morning to start work at 7.30am, finally getting home after a 14½ hour working day!

This morning I completed my first month of antidepressants and this is the first real late night I have done since I’ve been on them.  In the weeks before I would get very stressed, very quickly, begin to lose my temper and patience and generally be awful to be around, but this evening although I did feel the stress building, I kept it under control and remained focused, which is a good sign that this medication is working for me.

The only down side was that as I walked home, I began to feel jittery again, I haven’t really had that feeling for nearly two weeks now, I guess the tiredness and slight stress brought it on, but when I got home and had something to eat, that jittery feeling disappeared.

So it’s been a long day, but a very productive one, hopefully tomorrow isn’t quite as draining!

INVINCIBLE by HEDLEY
Took a long hard look, at my life.
Lost my way, well I was fighting the time.
A big black cloud, stormy sky.
Followed me, while I was living a lie.
So heartless, so selfish, so in darkness, when all your nights are
Starless,
You’re running outta hope.
But I found the strength inside to see, found the better part of me,
And I’ll never let it go.

I’ve come a long, long way,
Made a lot of mistakes,
But I’m breathin, breathin, that’s right and I mean it, mean it.
This time I’m a little run down, I’ve been living out loud.
I could beat it, beat it, that’s right, ’cause I’m feelin, feelin,
Invincible.
Woah-oh-oh-oh (x3)

When you’re gone for a day, on your own.
Tear your heart out just to find your way home.
I’ve been so high, I’ve sunk so low.
I’ve come so far, with nothing to show, for it.
Mistaken, I got so good at taking,
But now I’m tired of faking.
This story’s getting old.
So I found the strength inside to see, from the better part of me,
And I’ll never let it go.

I’ve come a long, long way,
Made a lot of mistakes,
But I’m breathin, breathin, that’s right and I mean it, mean it.
This time I’m a little run down, I’ve been living out loud.
I could beat it, beat it, that’s right, ’cause I’m feelin, feelin,
Invincible.
Woah-oh-oh-oh (x3)
Invincible.

I’m not the only one,
To crash into the sun, and live to fight another day.
Like a super nova, that old life is over.
I’m here to stay.
Now I’m gonna be,
Invincible.
Woah-oh-oh-oh (x3)
Invincible.

I’ve come a long, long way,
Made a lot of mistakes,
But I’m breathin, breathin, that’s right and I mean it, mean it.
This time I’m a little run down, I’ve been living out loud.
I could beat it, beat it, that’s right ’cause I’m feelin, feelin,
Invincible.
Woah-oh-oh-oh (x3)
Invincible.
Woah-oh-oh-oh (x3)
Invincible.

3 thoughts on “The Jitters Have Returned!

  1. leftnfree

    Remember to never get to Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. I think that is the jitter clue. Will say an extra prayer for you! You are doing really well though, despite what you are experiencing. Blessings to you Wayne.

    Reply
  2. Carl D'Agostino

    You need some exercise time even if just 20 minutes a day. You need some play time inserted into routine. Do you have 12 Step sponsor yet ? Psych drugs very powerful regulate chemical brain takes time adjust. Try to focus on what you are doing not how you feel emotionally and physically. Get out of yourself activities with others.

    Reply
  3. the warrioress

    Be sure and go to lots of meetings. There is just no substitute for meetings. At over twenty years clean and sober, I know from experience that sponsors are a must. Don’t try to do this all on your own. You need the fellowship of the program and your higher power to succeed. Blessings and prayers coming your way… congrats on your sober time so far!

    Reply

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