Back In Training

It’s been a long and tiring day, ironically I’ve spent all day in Wellingborough, which is the site of our other Church Campus, but unfortunately I never made it to Church at all today, due to karate commitments.

For the first time in a year I attended one of our association’s National courses, I was due to attend one last December, but at the last moment I chickened out, at the time I was just getting used to my Anti-Depressant medication, I didn’t feel up to it back then, so when this course came up, I decided it was time to get back to training.

So three hours of training, after not doing any training at all since last November and only a few teaching sessions in the months in between.  In all honesty I felt okay during the first two hours of training, apart from cracking my thumb, again, and the hips being a little stiff, I went okay.

Unfortunately, when you partner off with someone who is a lot less experienced than you are, there is always a danger of an injury, indeed he panicked a little at the speed of my punches and instead of managing a block, he managed to elbow my thumb, nice!

The last hour was kata training, well here is my speciality, plus it tends to be a lot lighter and more technical, so a good way to ease down, WRONG!

The problem is, it is my speciality and I am current National Champion, that means there is no hiding place and indeed there wasn’t.  The instructor, my former squad coach, pulled my out to demonstrate on a number of occasions, where I was happy to take it easy at the back, I was placed in front of all the other students to demonstrate the movements, well whilst you are in that position there is only one way to do it and that’s as hard, as fast and as technically correct as you can.  After the first time my legs were like jelly, but there was still no hiding, I was called out again and again.

Despite the aches, that in itself is a major compliment, Sensei Adel has that much faith in my ability to use me as an example, he has always supported me and even through the last few years, he has been very encouraging.  We chatted after training and I explained what’s been happening over the last few months, he let me know he is always there to talk to if I need to.

I spoke with a number of people who are aware of my struggles over the last few years and discussed the last few months, it’s seems though that I’m not the only one, there were a couple of other people, who I would never have suspected, that admitted to me that they had recently started a course of anti-depressants too, I guess only by being strong enough to admit it do you realise you aren’t the only one who is struggling through life.

It’s been a good day, I hate to miss Church, but it is only a few times a year and it has renewed my enthusiasm for karate again, over the last few months that has been waning a little with everything that has been going on, but remembering I still have some great friends in karate that are supporting me all the way is very comforting.

BECOME WHO YOU ARE by MAINSTAY
So it seems that I’m alone ‘cuz you said that
I would never want for anything again
But my eyes are set low and I’m holding
To the things that I know I can’t keep

I keep on chasing the wrong things
And coming up empty
This isn’t who I’m s’pposed to be
I keep on running the hard way
From every mistake
And I’m finding each time that you fall
You’re just becoming who you are

So it seems that I’m alone ‘cuz I keep on
Searching for the answers that I don’t need
I know I don’t need

I keep on chasing the wrong things
And coming up empty
This isn’t who I’m s’pposed to be
I keep on running the hard way
From every mistake
And I’m finding each time that you fall
You’re just becoming who you are

Who you are
We’re just becoming, just becoming

I keep on chasing the wrong things
And coming up empty
This isn’t who I’m supposed to be
I keep on running the hard way
From every mistake
And I’m finding each time that you fall
You’re just becoming who you are

(I’m finding each time that you fall)
Who you are
(I’m finding each time that you fall)
You’re just becoming who you are

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.