100 Weeks From Despair to Freedom

This morning I had the most amazing feeling of freedom, an amazing feeling that it’s all going to be okay.  There was realisation earlier today, as I Worshipped in Church as freely as I have ever done, that at this very time exactly 100 weeks previously, I was in a complete mess in my bathroom, tears staining my face as I held that penknife at my wrists.

That was then, is it really that long ago?  The feelings still seem so raw, those thoughts that were running through my head at the time, the complete and utter feeling of despair and uselessness, the feeling that I was stuck in limbo, I was nothing, I had neither the courage to live or the courage to die, I was lost.

But then later that day I was given a phone number that brought with it the possibility that everything could change, I just had to have the courage to dial it.

That I did the next morning and from that point my life changed, that conversation with Gareth, followed by my meeting with him and Alex later that day changed everything, from that evening onwards my life has never been the same.

When Gareth came through my door that evening he brought God into my life, I didn’t really know that until a couple of evenings later, when I prayed for the first time, but the journey started in earnest that Monday evening.

It’s by the grace of God that I have come so far, the change He has made in my life from those dark days of 100 weeks ago.  When I reminded Gareth this morning, even he couldn’t believe it was really that long ago, but praised God for the changes has done in that time and said just imagine what He is going to do over the next ten years!

Well I guess then that this is just the start, these are the early steps of a journey that has a long, long way to go, it may have been rough over the last few months, but I’m still standing and it may be rough in the years to come, but as I’ve come through so much already, with the strength of God’s grace I am determined to keep this journey moving forward.

Next stop 100 weeks of sobriety, only eleven days to go!!!

LAY ME DOWN by CHRIS TOMLIN
With this heart open wide
From the depths
From the heights
I will bring a sacrifice

With these hands lifted high
Hear my song
Hear my cry
I will bring a sacrifice

I will bring a sacrifice

I lay me down
I’m not my own
I belong to You alone
Lay me down
Lay me down

Oh, Hand on my heart
This much is true
There’s no life apart from You
Lay me down
Lay me down

Letting go of my pride
Giving up all my rights
Take this life and let it shine, shine, shine
Take this life and let it shine

I lay me down
I’m not my own
I belong to You alone
Lay me down
Lay me down

Oh, Hand on my heart
This much is true
There’s no life apart from You
Lay me down
Lay me down

Oh, Lay me down, Lay me down

It would be my joy to say
Your will, Your way
It would be my joy to say
Your will, Your way
It would be my joy to say
Your will, Your way
Always

It would be my joy to say
Your will, Your way
It would be my joy to say
Your will, Your way
It would be my joy to say
Your will, Your way
Always

I lay me down
I’m not my own
I belong to You alone
Lay me down
Lay me down

Oh, Hand on my heart
This much is true
There’s no life apart from You
Lay me down
Lay me down

Oh, Lay me down, Lay me down
Oh, Lay me down, Lay me down

1 thought on “100 Weeks From Despair to Freedom

  1. leftnfree

    According to Romans 8:35-39 in the Complete Jewish Bible we read this… But be sure to check out verse 37 because we become more than..

    35 Who will separate us from the love of the Messiah? Trouble? Hardship? Persecution? Hunger? Poverty? Danger? War? 36 As the Tanakh puts it,“For your sake we are being put to death all day long, we are considered sheep to be slaughtered.”
    37 No, in all these things we are superconquerors, through the one who has loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor other heavenly rulers, neither what exists nor what is coming, 39 neither powers above nor powers below, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God which comes to us through the Messiah Yeshua, our Lord.(Bible Gateway)

    Isn’t it great when our chains are removed and freedom that we have never known replaces it? You are such an inspiration to so many people God is redeeming you and His favor is upon your life!!! Walk with your head held high because you are a superconqueror!!!! Go for it… Let God remove all the chains that are holding you back Wayne!!!!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.