A Cry For Help From Across The Ocean

I’m not really sure where to start with this one, do I start at 5am this morning, go back to around 11.45am last Sunday morning, drift all the way back to November 2012, maybe back to Sunday 18th March 2012 or really I should go all the way back to the summer of 2011, when I read the story of a young girl on the Tenth Avenue North Facebook page, a girl who had overcome self harm.

I remember reading that story of a young girl, who after hearing one of their songs found the inspiration to stop self harming and hand over her razor blade to the lead singer of the band at a festival.

When things had come to a head here at home and I found myself in the depths of self doubt, with the life being drained from me by my alcohol problem, I found myself looking into the mirror with a penknife in one hand and my other arm with my wrist held out, with every dark thought running through my head about how I wasn’t worthy of living.  Luckily that day I heard a voice that gave me reason to live.  I put the knife down and turned away.

Then remembered this story I had read a year before, I took the penknife, wrote out a note saying “I didn’t need this anymore” and put it on Victoria’s bedside table, I’ve never seen that knife since then.   The next day I rang my now Pastor, spilled out my heart and all my sins and started a journey which has been just amazing ever since.

So fast forward a little on to November that year, whilst out walking I started seeing a conversation taking place, I witnessed this conversation in my mind over a number of weeks, until one Sunday I had that very conversation with a young girl in Church who, just as in my vision, told me she was struggling with self harm, needless to say this story that I had read and been inspired by popped back into my head, I told this story to the young girl in Church and a few nights later she presented me with a small box, which contained all of her blades.

This story of a young girl, over four thousand miles away across the Atlantic Ocean had helped to turn two lives around.  I found this girl’s Facebook profile and sent her a message saying what her story had achieved here in the UK, from there we became friends over Facebook.

So fast forward now to last weekend.  Since those visions back in November 2012, the only visions I have had have been in answer to my own prayers, until last Sunday that is.  During prayer and praise segment of our Church service, where we pray for those that are in need and praise God for those who had their prayers answered, I saw a vision of somebody in a fairly distinctive blouse or shirt, I couldn’t make out the face, but this person gradually got closer and closer to me, even though I still couldn’t see who it was.

Since then I’ve been praying over it for guidance, I’ve been looking out for anyone wearing a blouse of that type, I say it was a blouse because the lapels where distinctively rounded rather than pointed like a shirt.  But I hadn’t really had any breakthrough on it, I kept praying each morning and evening, hoping for further visions which may explain what it was I was seeing.

Then this morning, my alarm went off at 5am, I woke and felt ready to get out for a walk, these was no internal struggle, I just wanted to get out.  On my phone there were a number of notifications from this blog, so I quickly checked them, then Twitter, then I don’t know why, because I rarely go on Facebook anymore, I check once a week or even less these days, just to see if I have had any messages, I checked last night, so there was absolutely no reason to check this morning, but for some reason I felt compelled to to take a look.

I couldn’t have been on there for more than a few moments, when I notification of a message popped up, a message from this young girl over in America, she must have seen me come on line and sent a message almost instantly, first saying hello, then another message asking for my help.

Intrigued I replied, but I never expected what came next.  She asked me how to stop drinking.  She said she was suffering from what I had beaten already, she explained a few feelings which I identified with and how she was scared.

I messaged back quickly, briefly explaining the process I took, but urging her to speak with her friends at her Church, to get support and get help.  I told her I would stay in touch and even though I don’t really go on Facebook anymore, I would keep checking for any messages from her, I said I would help her through this in any way I could.

So when I went out walking this morning, this was obviously the main point of my thinking, then I realised something about that vision I had seen the weekend before, that I was sure that I had seen a picture of this girl wearing something similar, was this what it all meant, this girl would come to me for help.

It’s funny how the Holy Spirit works, this girl who has been such an inspiration to me at key points in my journey, now has called on me for help and inspiration from my journey.  I’ve never met this girl and probably never will, but I feel I have been called on by the Holy Spirit to help.

I will keep praying for this girl and also for guidance for how best to help in this situation, I’m sure your prayers would be welcome too.

As for a song to go with this post, I guess it has to be the one which started this whole cycle, the song she heard to inspire her to beat self harming, You Are More.

YOU ARE MORE by TENTH AVENUE NORTH
There’s a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she’s wandered
And the shame she can’t hide

She says, “How did I get here?
I’m not who I once was.
And I’m crippled by the fear
That I’ve fallen too far to love”

But don’t you know who you are,
What’s been done for you?
Yeah don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she’s been given new life
But she can’t shake the feeling
That it’s not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she’s rehearsed all the lines
And so she’ll try to do better
But then she’s too weak to try

But don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done,
But what’s been done for you.
This is not about where you’ve been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You’ve been remade
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.

2 thoughts on “A Cry For Help From Across The Ocean

  1. leftnfree

    You are remade you are new and God has transformed you from the inside out for sure. Whatever tool God uses to get us to His table is ok because in the end it is not about hurt but about healing… Go for the Gold with God

    Reply

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