9 Years Sober

So today brings up nine years sober, I almost forgot this year, for the last few weeks I’m not sure what day it is!

I’m currently on garden leave as I have given my notice to leave my job for one at another merchants, so for the last four weeks I have barely left the house.  As I wasn’t furloughed last year, we worked right through lockdown, it been an nice change of pace, but with no real routine I’m not sure what day it is from one day to the next, oh well, a few more weeks and I should have some routine back.

This last year hasn’t been easy, I am still troubled by the same chest problem that started at the begin of last year, I still have a persistent cough and shortness of breath, I’ve seen a specialist and am now on the second attempt at treatment by medication, which still isn’t really sorting the problem out, I have a telephone appointment next month with the respiratory specialist, but if there is no change by then, he will refer me to the Ear Nose and Throat department to see if anything in the throat is causing the problem.

At it’s worst, I can cough so hard I start to pass out, everything goes fuzzy, my ears buzz and my body goes numb, it’s take a minute or two to come back around to normal, this at times was happening four or five times an hour, not great when I was at work.  At the moment it isn’t that bad, but I guess I’ve not been very active either, today I’ve been out for a couple of walks with friends, the second one this evening was the longest I’ve walked since these problems started, so at this moment of time I am coughing quite a bit, hopefully it will settle down over the evening.  At times last year walking to work was a problem, I would get half way and be so short of breath that my legs would begin to ache so bad, I would have to struggle the rest of the way and then hopefully recharge a little bit when I got to work.  This from someone who usually could go out on a twelve or thirteen mile walk at a fast pace with no problems at all. 

Health problems aside, I am still sober, it still has it temptation every now and again, but as each year passes they get easier to deal with.  I still get that strength from the Lord, it’s not mine.

I thank God for that strength, the mercy and grace that forgave a mess like me.  I thank God for the friends He brought me to, that help pick me up when I’m down, I thank Him too for everyone who has heard or read my story and offered any amount of encouragement or support, I thank everyone for that support, you certainly help to make this journey easier.

This is just year nine, this is still the beginning of a journey that will continue for many years to come, I’ve never treat like it’s the end or the middle, I chose to see it as the beginning and that way it always going to remind me that there is a long way to go, so there is still a lot of hard work and perseverance to go.

I heard this song on the end credits of a film I watch recently, I immediately downloaded it and have been listening to it everyday ever since, I pray this gift will last forever.

THIS GIFT by GLEN HANSARD
This gift will last forever
This gift will never let you down
Some things are made from better stuff
This gift is waiting to be found

Your heart’s in wide receiving
Been too long buried in the sand
Some things require leaving
This gift will fall right in your hand
Just try to understand

If you long enough
And you don’t give up
If you’re strong enough
And you don’t give up
And you

You’ll be no harbor to the sorrow
Just let it go

Don’t hang your head in sorrow
Don’t give up just before you win
Don’t wait around for tomorrow
Open up your arms and let it in

This gift will last forever
This gift will never let you down
Some things are made from better stuff
This gift is ready to be found
Just you believe it now

This gift will last forever
This gift will never let you down
Some things are made from better stuff
This gift is ready to be found
Your heart’s in wide receiving
Been too long buried in the sand
Some things require believing
These things just fall right in your hand
Just try to understand

If you long enough
And you don’t give up
If you’re strong enough
And you don’t give up

3 thoughts on “9 Years Sober

  1. WordwithMindy

    Congratulations on Year 9! What a wonderful accomplishment and testimony of what God can do, and continue to do in a person’s life. I know that sometimes it’s very hard. Keep walking your walk, you are touching many souls!
    And I am praying for a good and correct diagnosis and treatment plan for you to heal your body and stop your cough.

    Reply

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