Tag Archives: 1 Peter 5:10

I Will Rise – 1 Peter 5:10

I Will Rise – 1 Peter 5:10

Taken it all
Suffered the blows
The pain and the hurt
The toil and the turmoil
Maybe I’m down
Yet certainly not out
For when the dust settles
The Lord’s strength will shine
This spirit restored
From the dust rise
Beneath God’s love
The broken is mended
Like shining grace
His glory eternal
I will rise
Over all my troubles

1 Peter 5:10

1 Peter 5:10

Beyond Your Drought (1 Peter 5:10)

Beyond Your Drought (1 Peter 5:10)

Still your heart aches
Yet this pain is soon to end
The drought of these seven years
Will be no more
Hold on a while longer
Prosperity will come upon your life
Your hopes will be before your eyes
It’s fruits will be within your hands
Ruins will be rebuilt
Life from dust with a breath of heaven
So hold on tight
Trust in Me
Suffering will end when the drought falls

1 Peter 5:10

1 Peter 5:10

You Rise

You Rise (1 Peter 5:10)

You’ve come so far
And fight so hard
At times it’s tough
I’ve seen you stumble
Yet you look to me
And you rise
You rise each time
Never staying down
My strength is yours
And it will always be
Whatever you face
My strength goes with you
Never alone
We face it together

1 Peter 5:10

1 Peter 5:10

Finding Calm Waters

It’s fair to say that 2013 was certainly a rocky year for me, the path I walked wasn’t easy at all.  There were times when everything seemed to be going fine, but there were definitely other times which hit me hard.

The year certainly drew to an end with a state of confusion, falling into a depression was something I certainly wasn’t expecting and something I certainly failed to cope with.  I struggled with myself, I just didn’t know what was happening or indeed at times who I was.

There were times when I just didn’t want to wake up in the morning, I would lie in bed just wanted to die, I didn’t know what was wrong with me and I certainly didn’t feel myself, I felt I was letting everyone down, all those who I helped me through all the other trials.  I can safely say that despite everything I’ve been through in the last four years, the struggles that led to my drinking problem, the contemplations of suicide, the devastation of the end of my relationship with Victoria and the pain of withdrawals, they were all hard, but this was the lowest I have ever felt and certainly something I really don’t want to go through again.

I kept going to Church, even though I was an empty shell, I couldn’t lift myself to sing or worship, I just hung at the back with my head in my hands, hiding in the shadows.  I all the while trying my best not to break down, in the end it was too much and I just cried when anyone spoke to me, as I say tough times.

Although I started to feel better as December came around, I can say that today was the first time I can say I really let go at Worship, the first time I felt free to sing from the heart.

As I walked home I remembered the two visions I had way back in October, just before it all started, the first one coming on a Sunday, where I saw myself washed away by a rush of water, I tried to get back up and walk on again, but the water washed me away once more.  But the vision I had forgot about until this afternoon was the one that followed that three days later, in that vision I simply saw calm water, an expanse of still waters.  For the first time this afternoon I felt like that I may have found those still waters, that despite everything that surrounds me I have found a peace in my heart for the first time in a long time, in fact at the end of worship this afternoon I felt the happiest and most content that I have in a long time, I had the definite feeling that everything is going to be alright.

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
1 Peter 5:10

I know that I still have little things to work on, things to sort out, but as I say I feel good at the moment, I have a feeling it’s going to be a good year!

Daddy was a preacher
She was his wife
Just tryin’ to make the world a little better you know, shine a light

People started talking
Just to hear their own voice
Those people tried to accuse my father said he made the wrong choice

Though it might be painful
You know that time will always tell
Those people have long since gone
My father never failed

Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts risin’
‘Cause even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water
Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts risin’
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water

Even when the Earth crumbles under my feet
Even when the ones I love, turn around and crucify me
I won’t never ever let you down
I won’t fall
I won’t fall
I won’t fall as long as You’re around me

Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts risin’
‘Cause even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water
Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts risin’
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water

Memories Of The Pain Of Withdrawals

One of the most used phrases at work this morning was “is it really almost two and half weeks since Christmas”, these weeks seem to be flying by so quickly already.  As a new year it seemed to have started so well, just a little blip yesterday with a bit of stress last night, but that has passed and this morning I was quite positive.

Well I say things seemed to be going quite well until a few hours into work when the backs of my legs began to ache.  I don’t know why, at first I thought it may have been the cold as I walked to work.  But it didn’t lift, in fact it seemed to get worse as the morning passed.  The when I got home this afternoon it extended to my hips!

When I got home I fell asleep on the settee, when I woke just before leaving for karate it had subsided slightly, just my legs aching and through karate they were uncomfortable and they still are, just a continuous dull aching and the odd deep pain.

The last time I felt anything like this was back in April and May 2012, within three weeks of quitting drinking the withdrawals kicked in, firstly with headaches and then it spread all the way through my body, with constant pain and aching in my joints and muscles.  I remember sitting in Church one Sunday, I just couldn’t do anything, in the end I just cried, I couldn’t move, it hurt to move, but I couldn’t sit still either that hurt just as bad, it didn’t matter what I did, it just hurt and pain killers just didn’t do anything.

The next night I still clearly remember lying on this same settee, ready to give up, my body was screaming for alcohol, it wanted me to drink again and I was close to doing it.  I was alone that night, the rest of the family were doing their own thing in other parts of the house and I was alone, crying in pain once again, fighting hard, but seemingly losing.

That was until I picked up my phone and texted a James, telling him how bad I was feeling and that I wanted to give up, I had had enough and couldn’t take it anymore!  But the funny thing was once that text message had been sent I seemed to gain some level of control over the pain and the desperation to drink again.  Almost instantly I felt a sense of relief and calmed down.  James didn’t respond until later that evening, but when he did it helped even more.  The next day I saw the Doctor, started taking Co-codamol, but even that didn’t really help, but after another week of pain it slowly subsided and I could get on with looking forward again.

They were the some of the hardest weeks of my life, trying to fight both the pain and the urge of an addiction, all the time while trying to turn my life around, so much going on and so much adjusting to be done, it was hard, but I got through it.  One of the main things that helped was knowing that i was no longer alone.  There were times when prayer helped get me through, where when I was desperate and alone my prayers for help were answered.  Then other times there were friends that were there for me, with words of encouragement and prayers, friends I would never have found if it wasn’t for God, he brought me to the some amazing people who have been fighting my corner with me all the way through.

Today’s aches are nothing like those I endured during the withdrawals, but lying there earlier today brought back a few memories, in some ways bad, but in other ways good memories, good because I know that I had God with me in those moments.

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
1 Peter 5:10

Are you lost, my runaway?
All is spent, squandered away
You’ve had your taste; you’ve had your fill
It’s not enough; you’re wanting still
He said, My son, if you come home
I’ll wrap you in My finest robes
And we will dance until the dawn
No greater love; you are My son

My God, my God
What mercy You have shown to me
My God, my God
Forever I will sing to Thee

Do you feel broke beyond repair?
The crushing weight is too much to bear
And with no hope for innocence
Who will stand in your defense?

But One has come, to claim His own
To fight for you, oh, weary soul
The world you fear, a threat no more
For Earth will hear the victor’s roar
This song will rise, from shore to shore
We are free; we’re bound no more
And we will dance, and all will know
For it’s the coming of my Lord

This song will rise, from shore to shore
We are free, where bound no more

Back In The Gi Again!

It’s been another one of those days whereby I’ve been picking up on old routines.  It was my first class back at my karate club since November, although I have been doing my classes on a Friday afternoon for the Sports Centre, I’ve not been teaching at the club since the Grading last November.

That Grading was the week before I ended up at the Doctor’s and on antidepressants, I had already decided that once the grading was out of the way, I would take a few weeks off, but when it became obvious that I was struggling, it was decided between myself and Steve, my assistant, that I would take the rest of the year off, he was happy to cover all the classes.  As the year ended my Mum and Dad retired from helping run the club, but Steve has agreed to take over their duties and also all the administration duties that I was doing, which takes a considerable amount of pressure from me, I can just concentrate on teaching and know the rest is in very good hands.

Sometimes it’s hard to let things go, I’ve put so much into keeping that club going over the years, that to hand over things to someone else isn’t easy, but if there is anyone I can trust, then it’s Steve, plus he has an eye for detail, he will make sure everything runs smoothly.

So it was my first class since last November, which in some ways I wasn’t really looking forward to, the hip pain from walking the other morning has subsided, I haven’t walked for the last two mornings (although it was chucking it down this morning), so it’s settled down quite nicely.  At the end of last year everything felt very tight, I couldn’t stretch and move as well as I usually can, but today things seemed so much better, despite the fact I’ve done very little since November, so on the whole I really enjoyed being back, much more than I thought I would.

So the New Year has started to move along quite nicely, I’ve had my hours reshuffled at work, which mean I’ll be working every Saturday morning, but in return I get every Friday afternoon off in lieu, which actually works in my favour and leaves it less of a rush to get to karate and be ready for Amplified when that kicks off again.

I’ve got a feeling this year is going to be so much better than 2013!

After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. 
1 Peter 5:10

You run, you hide
As tears fall from your eyes
They fall like snow
From a wounded soul
You hold inside
The hurt of great divide
The hole is starting to get old

So come back to the light
To the love, you will find
It’s been here all along
So come back to the start
And you’ll find in your heart
That you always belonged
To me

Just take the rope
I won’t let it go
Give in
We can start again
I’m life, I’m hope
And I’m ready to explode
With how bad I want you back home

You’re my daughter, you’re my son
You’re the one I long to love
And you’ve heard I chose to die
Do you know you’re the reason why?