Tag Archives: Awake

Body Clocks & Bin Men

So my plan for a nice lay in this morning went completely wrong!  Firstly my body clock didn’t actually wake me up at 5am, no it woke me up at 4.15am, then I struggled to get back to sleep.

It would then seem that just as I managed that, the bin men came around emptying all the recycle bins at around 6am, they seem to make as much noise as they can with the recycle bins!  Then just as I got back to sleep again and what seemed like only minutes later, but was actually around 7am, Victoria woke me up to check if I was supposed to be at work, well with that my lay in was all but gone!

Well… maybe tomorrow!!!

Oh heck, for some reason in my head I’ve just said that to the tune of the “The Littlest Hobo”, how sad is that!

Although having said that I have had an hour or so sleep this morning, before doing a little bit of work!

WITHOUT YOU by JEREMY CAMP
I’ll walk beside You
As You lead me through still waters for my soul
I place my hope in all You are, yeah

And I know You’ll guide me
To places where there’s beauty to behold
There’s no other place I’d rather be, no

Cause I’ve been down the other road
Where fear and doubt
They take control
And I won’t go there anymore

And I won’t make a move
Without You, whoa
I won’t make a move
Without You right by my side
So I will wait for You
To lead me to
Any place where You need
I won’t make a move
Without You
Without You

I’ve walked through the fire
And every step You never left my side
In You is where my help comes from, yeah

Cause You lead, I’ll follow
No matter if the place it seems so cold
My heart’s desire is You Lord, yeah

And I’ve been down the other road
Where fear and doubt
They take control
And I won’t go there anymore

And I won’t make a move
Without You, whoa
I won’t make a move
Without You right by my side
And I will wait for You
To lead me to
Any place where You need
I won’t make a move
Without You
Without You

And I’m letting go
I give You control
It’s not my will
But Yours I’ll follow

And I lay my life
Down at Your feet
And I know…

I won’t make a move
Without You, whoa
I won’t make a move
Without You right by my side
And I will wait for You
To lead me to
Any place where You need
I won’t make a move
Without You
Without You
Without You
Without You

Take my heart, it’s Yours
Your hand, I’ll hold
You lead, I’ll go
And I won’t make a move, no

My Nightmare

Last night I had a dream, that for me turned from celebration to nightmare, a vision of a possible reality that scares me something chronic.

I was celebrating with friends, celebrating another landmark day in my journey through my sobriety, I’m not sure it was my one year anniversary but it was a celebration all the same.

It was all going rather well until in my dream I picked up a bottle of wine and started innocently drinking from it in celebration, in the dream when I realised what I was doing I freaked, I threw the bottle down and went absolutely crazy.

I was so distraught, primarily because my counting of my SoberDays had stopped and in my thinking my life was now heading back to where I was, if my counting had stopped and then so would my journey with God.

In the midst of this chaos I woke, slightly sweaty and a little confused as to whether this was a dream or reality. I finally got a grip and realised it was just a dream, but the possible reality of the situation scared me, that something so seemingly innocent, a momentary lapse in this process of celebration, could have catastrophic consequences in my life.

In jubilation the guard was neglected and even though in the dream there was no temptation, I wasn’t drawn to the bottle fighting an urge, I just picked it up, I came to the realisation that I may be close to a year free of that demon, but it chases me always and I must remain on my guard, forever.

Though I rarely feel tempted by drinking these days, something out there will be there to attack me when I least expect it, so I’ll keep praying for the strength to keep resisting and to be ready to fight with all I have, when that innocent moment may arise.

But for now, I’m in a good place, I’m still counting, I’m still walking my path and I’m seeing the world with different eyes, life is good, but I know not to get too complacent, the fight is not over!

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, through you alone
Awake my soul

(Awake My Soul by Chris Tomlin)