Tag Archives: Christian Rock Music

The Most Unexpected Of Comments

These days I’m getting used to waking up at random hours in the morning, it’s become the norm for me. Like many I guess one of the first things I do, especially in these days of smart phones, I check my social networking accounts.

Usually it’s Twitter or WordPress then maybe Facebook, although to be honest I don’t spend much time on there these days, I only check to see if I’ve become a target for more veiled attacks from people I once called friends.

I’m aware of late I haven’t been responding to any comments on my blog, to be quite honest I’ve been posting, but not really interested in my blog of late, I’ve not been too positive over the last few months, which is not what I set out to be. I haven’t been visiting many of my followers either,interactive blogging has been a chore and one of many things that have slipped over the past weeks.

But one comment this morning has breathed a bit of new life into my blogging life. When I checked my interactions this morning I had a notification to approve a comment, not from a fellow blogger, not even one of my recent posts either, but from a search which found a post of mine from back in March.

Back in March just three days after my Nan died the song that I wanted as a tribute to her I couldn’t find on YouTube to go with a post about her, so I made a lyric video for the song Mama by Flyleaf.

So I was amazed this morning to find a comment from Lori Mosley, the Mother of Lacey Sturm, the former lead singer of Flyleaf.  Not only that but Lori wrote and sings the last part of the song.

I still find it unbelievable that in this day and age of technology, that not only does my blog and testimony reach out across the world, but it was also found and commented upon by the Mother of someone I admire and respect, in fact for nearly two years Flyleaf’s song All Around Me was the ringtone on my phone.

That got me thinking again though, that was way back in autumn 2008, at the time I was far from a Christian and thought that the song was about a relationship, now when I hear it I understand that yes it’s about a relationship, but one with God (although I still want to answer my phone we it comes on). There are many Christian songs I listened to before I was saved, many I heard and never understood, that’s all changed a little bit now.  Music is a big part of my life and Christian and inspiring music is something I listen to a lot, especially when walking.  My current favourites aren’t hard to spot, they tend to accompany my recent posts, over the last few months the music of Jesus Culture and associated artists has been my go to music when I’m low and in need of lifting, but the music of Flyleaf and other artists still make up my regular daily playlist.

Thank you Lori for your kind comment and encouragement, I really appreciate it, as I do all the comments I receive, I read them all and appreciate everyone of them, thank you all so much.

As things improve each day and I feel more positive as each one passes, maybe I can get back to the more positive and hopefully inspirational posts.

ALL AROUND ME by FLYLEAF
My hands are searching for you…
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips…
My tongue dances behind my lips for you
This fire runs in through my being…
Burning…
I’m not used to seeing you

I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive

I can feel you all around me,
thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling,
savoring this heart that’s healing

My hands float up above me….
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade…
Into our secret place
The music makes me sway…
The angels singing say
We are alone with you…
I am alone and they are too with you

And so I cry…
The light is white…
And I see you…

I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive

I can feel you all around me,
Thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling,
Savoring this heart that’s healing

Take my hand I give it to you
Now you own me , all I am..
You said you would never leave me
I believe you, I believe…
I can feel you all around me
thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling,
Savoring this heart that’s healed

The Beauty Of Becoming

I make no secret of the fact that music forms a large part of my life, over the last few years I have received many messages through music. And even though I may not have heard the messages at the time, there were many songs in those dark years of mine that only now can I hear the message to me within the words.

I listen to a lot of music and nowadays it’s predominately Christian music or songs of some inspiration. Many times over the last 20 months has the right song played at the right time, lifting my spirits or breaking me to tears.

In fact often when I’m walking and things just don’t seem quite right, I just ask for a song to give me a lift, almost always the next song, if not a song after that, does the job.

Yesterday was a little different, when I set off for Church, I was tired after being awake since 4am, apart from half an hour’s nap, plus I think I was still carrying a little of last Sunday’s painful memories, the long and the short if it was I felt a little empty, something just wasn’t right.

So I prayed for a sing to lift me, but strangely it was one which I expected, what played was a song called “Worthless” by A Thorn For Every Heart, a little strange I thought.

Now I’ve listened to this song so many times, it’s a good song, but I have to say I’ve never really heard the lyrics, but yesterday they did speak to me and into my situation, it was almost exactly the way I was feeling last week and of course at the beginning if this journey, it summed up my feelings, this was a little hard hitting.

The next two songs didn’t really lift me, but they were telling a story, my story, firstly “Headlights” by The Classic Crime and then “Enemy” by Newsboys.

I didn’t realise until I prayed last night about what I was hearing on that walk, but when I asked I then understood, only then did I fully appreciate the last song I heard as I walked to Church, “The Becoming” by Jenny Simmons.

There is not a lot more to say, this song says it all.

THE BECOMING by JENNY SIMMONS
After the destruction
In the wake of every storm
The sun reveals the suffering
And all I’ve known is gone
Well I can take the rising waves
But when I’m washed up on the shore
Feeling just like driftwood
And nothing makes sense anymore

Jesus meet me
Be everything I need
In the waiting
In the in between
Jesus, hold me
And keep me from running
Cause I don’t want to miss
The beauty of becoming

Something new is growing
I can feel it come alive
In the dead of winter
Spring is on the other side

Jesus meet me
Be everything I need
In the waiting
In the in between
Jesus, hold me
Keep me from running
Cause I don’t want to miss
The beauty of becoming

Give me beauty in the ashes of this pain
Give me water in the wasteland, let it rain
As I wonder, in the darkness, be my guide
Oh Creator, oh Redeemer bring new life

And Jesus
Be everything that I need
In the waiting
In the in between
Jesus, hold me
Keep me from running
Cause I don’t want to miss
The beauty of becoming
No, I don’t want to miss
The beauty of becoming

Resisting Excuses

I had every excuse in the world available to me this morning and I chose none.  Did I ache this morning, tired muscles and few bruises, it reminds me of my old squad days when after three hours of hard training, then a 125mile trip home on a train sat on my bag on the floor next to the doors of a train.

A week ago I would have rolled over and gone back to sleep, awaiting a second alarm, this morning I got up, got changed and got out.

It was certainly an odd walk with a bit of a limp, but just as good as any walk I’ve done in a while, despite it being another mist filled, overcast morning, the sun did begin to break through eventually.

Breaking Through The Mist

Breaking Through The Mist

Morning Rays

Morning Rays

Swimming In Gold

Swimming In Gold

Shining Through

Shining Through

Reflective Glow

Reflective Glow

I actually started this post about 2½ hours ago, but I fell asleep, regardless I feel alive again.

ALIVE by POCKET FULL OF ROCKS
There was a time I was dead inside. 
You’d call my name and I’d try to hide. 
My heart was dark and so full of shame, 
Full of shame. 
But like the dawning of a brand new day 
Your love has chased my shame away. 
How amazing, now to hear You singing over me! 
Over me! 

Loudly, I sing 
Loudly, I live 
Giving You all I have to give, 
Until the world knows the Love that’s made me so alive 
I’m alive, I’m alive! 

Well, every day I find Your mercy new. 
And every moment that I spend with You 
I am overwhelmed by Grace I can’t keep to myself! 
To myself! 

Loudly, I sing 
Loudly, I live 
Giving You all I have to give, 
Until the world knows the Love that’s made me so alive 
I’m alive, I’m alive! 

Loudly, I sing 
Loudly, I live 
Giving You all I have to give, 
Until the world knows the Love that’s made me so alive 
I’m alive, I’m alive! 

Out of my sorrow, out of my night, 
You called me into Glorious Light. 
Where all of the lost, lonely and broken 
Find Your Light. 
Shine Your Light. 

Loudly, I sing 
Loudly, I live 
Giving You all I have to give, 
Until the world knows the Love that’s made me so alive 
I’m alive 

Loudly, I sing 
Loudly, I live 
Giving You all I have to give, 
Until the world knows the Love that’s made me so alive 
I’m alive, I’m alive! Yeah, 
I’m alive, I’m alive, yeah!

Learning To Walk Again

Daily Prompt – These Boots Were Made For Walking

It was around this time last year, when the family were all away and I was alone in this house that I started getting out of the house, putting the headphones in and just walking.  Back then it didn’t matter where I walked or how far I walked, it was about beating demons and instead of being enclosed within this four walls fighting them, it was so much easier to get out and just walk away from them, put some Christian music in my ears and spent some time working things out in my head rather than getting lost in my mind.

I walked in the morning and then again in the evening, anywhere, up the hill, around the industrial estate, around town, anywhere but stay in alone.  I walked at pace then, but not as quick as I do now, but depending on the song that came on and it’s pace depended on how fast I would walk.  I would progressively walk longer, starting at a five or six mile walk and onto the 13 mile route that would become my regular weekend walk.

I started to settle into a routine, each morning I would wake at about 5am, get up and walk 4 miles, come home shower and walk the other mile and a quarter to work, I began to average about 60 miles a week and an average speed of 4.7 mph, that continued through to the end of the year and into this year, whether it was clear weather, rain, sleet, wind and even heavy snow, I would get up, no excuses, the alarm would sound I would just rise, dress and walk, whether I felt up to it or not I would just walk.

One morning I walked over 27 miles without stopping, I just went for it, when I got home I checked the times of the most recent London Marathon, I was amazed that over 4000 people ran the marathon distance slower than I had walked it!

In the first six months that I was on this routine I missed just a few mornings, I walked pretty much every morning, the few mornings I missed, the day that followed just didn’t seem right, it didn’t seem like were quite going my way, I’m not sure what it was exactly, but those day just didn’t seem to go well, they weren’t disasters by any means, just not as good.

Predominantly through that period I started my walk in darkness and walked into the daylight, sometimes as I passed by street lamps they would switch off, it felt like I was Professor Dumbledore with his gadget putting the lights out as I go.  I would carry my camera and record some of the most wonderful sunrises I’ve ever seen.  I spent so much of the years previously hidden behind closed curtains, some days not even seeing the sun at all, then to see every sunrise was just special, it meant something to me and represented what I was doing in my life, walking out of the darkness of my past in to the light of my future.

Then the first of March arrived, I was off work and after a brief walk I paused to sit by the lake, intending to walk further after I had watched the sunrise, then before 7am my phone rang, my Mum told me my Nan had died and my world fell apart there and then.  I stumbled home in tears and from that day it’s not been quite the same.

Over the next few weeks walking was an on and off thing, I was struggling with my Nan’s death, right up until the funeral and days I didn’t feel like it, I didn’t walk, I just went back to sleep for a little longer, by the time I got over that my other Nan died and although I didn’t initially struggle with that loss as badly at first, I did after the funeral, a bit of a reversal, but once again walking became intermittent and good and bad days continued.

By the end of May I was doing so many extra hours at work and other things that something had to give, I was exhausted, when I woke, I didn’t question myself, I just turned over and went back to sleep awaiting a second alarm, I got out odd mornings, but few and far between, since then it’s become gradually less and less that I get out, up to the point that I haven’t walked now in over three weeks and just haven’t been the same.

Had I been still walking, would I have struggled so much this last week, last year I got out and did something about it, this year I sat deep within my own self pity, the balance of my life just doesn’t seem right at the moment and the one thing that has changed is the walking.

I do my best thinking when I’m walking, I listen to my music and worship along to it, especially when I’m alone along the cycle track where no one except the rabbits can hear me, I speak with God when I walk, I hand over all my problems when I’m walking and that just isn’t happening at the moment.

Something is just not he same and I desperately want to get back to my routine, that feeling that when the alarm goes off, there no thought, just action, that old feeling of jumping up and getting out, enjoying every sunrise and not worrying about the sound of wind and rain, just walking, just getting that balance of life right.

I miss seeing the sunrise and I want to get back to witnessing moments like this again.

Light Up The Sky

Light Up The Sky

This Monday I fully intend to start with the old routine of walking once again, to fight that urge to turn over, to just get up, change and get out, to see if I get some of that old balance back, that old spring in the step and walk right back into that light.

WALK by THE FOO FIGHTERS
A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I

I’m learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I’m learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?
Where do I begin?

Do you remember the days
We built these paper mountains
And sat and watched them burn?
I think I found my place
Can’t you feel it growing stronger?
Little conquerors

I’m learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I’m learning to talk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?

Now
For the very first time
Don’t you pay no mind?
Set me free again
You keep alive a moment at a time
But still inside a whisper to a riot
To sacrifice but knowing to survive
The first decline another state of mind
I’m on my knees, I’m praying for a sign
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I’m on my knees
I never wanna die
I’m dancing on my grave
I’m running through the fire
Forever, whatever
I never wanna die
I never wanna leave
I’ll never say goodbye
Forever, whatever
Forever, whatever

I’m learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I’m learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?
Where do I begin?

I’m learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
I’m learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?

Just A Normal Saturday Morning At Work?

It was certainly an interesting morning, after a night watching the football (or more precisely Wolverhampton Wanderers verses Crawley) with Paul and Ally, it was once again almost midnight before I went to sleep, actually I remember laying down with the TV on and I don’t remember turning it off!

But I woke early from the middle of a dream, this time it was a good dream, I only hope and pray it was more than a dream, but alas it may just remain a dream!

Incidentally when I woke the TV had gone on to standby mode, when I passed out after drinking with the TV on previously I always thought Victoria came in and turned the TV off!  Maybe I have a TV fairy!

But before the wedding I had to work until midday, which is fine, Saturday mornings pass quite quickly, usually anyway.  We always have the radio on in the shop at work, but Saturday morning radio can be full of talking a very little music, so as I have done on a number of occasions I plugged my iPod into the radio and put one some of my music.

Although my colleagues understand that I am now a Christian and know fully about my struggles over the last few years, I don’t discuss my faith with them, it’s a builders merchants, the conversations around me don’t very often revolve around faith, not usually in a positive anyway.

Although I’ve listened to Christian music for many years, way before I even entered my dark years, my music since last April has predominantly been Christian music, previous to that it was a mixture of Rock music, Christian Rock and some heavy rock music, but not too heavy.  My favourites playlist has a range of different artists and song types, extremely diverse, so I put that on rather than my current playlist of Christian music, although all my current playlist are also on that old playlist.

What was of particular interest was what happened when a Christian song came on, in the past I’ve looked across nervously to check if anyone has noticed and whether their reaction is to turn it off, I’ve even rushed across to the iPod and skipped tracks before as soon as I realised what was playing, but today I just left it.  A number of songs came on and it was interesting to see a customer humming along to “Oh Beautiful” by Skyler Smith and Kim Walker-Smith, not a response I was expecting.

Then as I was talking with my work colleague Andy, it was plainly evident that he was tapping along to Better Is One Day by Kutless, if only he really knew what he was enjoying and tapping along to!

There was one point in the morning when the shop was quite busy, but I could hear a song playing that I hadn’t heard in some time, in fact I couldn’t even remember hearing the song before, it was off that old playlist and not my new one, I think I added it just before I changed what I listened to, however, I couldn’t recall the song, but it caught my attention, maybe because of this or maybe because of the words of the song, I moved over to the iPod to find out what it was.

Then I looked up the lyrics of the song, it was by an artist I had not attributed as Christian, a band that I had dismissed over the last 18 months, but now the song was stuck in my head.

There have been many songs that I have received at the right time, obviously Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North is a definite point at which I can say I was sent a song that I had to listen to, a song that spoke the right words at the right time for me.  This time was no different, after the last week, the lyrics were just what I needed to hear, so whilst I’ve been at home between the wedding and the reception later I’ve just had it on repeat and why not, it’s a great song with a great message.

Take a listen, read the lyrics, I hope it encourages you like it has me today.

LOST IN THE WORLD by GREEN RIVER ORDINANCE
Summer rain falling all around you
Washing all the doubts to the bone
In the madness this world, it has created
Don’t forget you are beautiful

IF YOU GET LOST IN THE WORLD, LOST IN THE WORLD
I’LL BE THERE TO FIND YOU
GIVE YOUR HEART AND YOUR SOUL, HEART AND SOUL
FIGHTING TO REMIND YOU
IF YOU GET LOST IN THE WORLD, LOST IN THE WORLD
I’LL BE THERE TO FIND YOU
JUST KNOW I BLEED LIKE YOU, I BLEED LIKE YOU

Someday, somewhere there’ll be a silver lining
Break through wars you’re fighting here
We both know there’s no easy way around
Do you hear my words ringing out?

There’s no higher mountain I would climb
To rid you of the fears that rule your mind
There’s no higher mountain I would climb
For you to see that I am on your side

Moving Forward

I wrote the following on Sunday evening in my post “Alone In A Crowded Room”:

“I took a seat right at the back, on the back row in the corner, the furthest away from the stage as possible and away from the crowds…”

This described my first visit of my own will to Everyday Champions Church, the first time I was there out of need rather than obligation, I’ve written about this many times before, about how I took this seat at the back, out of the way and away from the crowds, I returned to this seat week after week, it became a bit of a joke about my seat, most people would know where to find me.

Sometimes I would be sat alone and that was fine with me, other times others would come and sit with me, that was fine too.  Sometimes I wasn’t quick enough to sit there, it had been taken, so I took the closest seat to it, at most a couple of rows forward, but always the last seat on the row.

Last night I had a look through my journal from this time last year, interestingly I wrote this in the journal from 5th August 2012…

“Usual seat at the back, I like my seat, I’m happy with it, it was different last week at Nottingham, being front and centre, just behind the leaders, but at Newark I’m happy with my position at the back, none assuming, it’s where I will stay unless I’m called for more, but that time may come, it may not.  I will be happy just to continue my journey as I am, the quiet shy one at the back, I’m not one for pushing myself to the front, if I am asked I will do what is asked of me, just like at karate, but otherwise the back, out the way is fine with me.”

There were times when friends and the connect team tried to get me to move forward, but I always refused, I was adamant that I would remain in that seat each week, I would stay there until I knew it was time to move on.

I was sat there the day I was lifted to the stage on my baptism, I was there back in March dealing with the passing of my Nanna and the I sat there was the day back in April when I was in complete despair about my finances and my relationship with Victoria.

But that day back in April I ventured from my seat to the front to be prayed for, I cried and cried that morning, I was a bit of mess, but since that day I haven’t sat there.  It finally dawned on me this weekend that actually, I don’t think I will ever return to that seat.

When I joined the A.V. Team at the end of last year I spent most weeks on the team and less weeks in my seat, although I would return there every few weeks.  Then when I agreed to take camera duties, things changed again.  That was back in April, since then I haven’t returned to my seat, not since that day I found myself in tears at the front of Church, since that day I haven’t sat there.

To be quite honest, I really enjoy my camera duties each week and I am quite happy to do that each and every week when I available to be in Church.  If that means that I never return to my old seat, then so be it, I’m fine with that.

In many ways I’ve moved on from the guy that just wanted to slip by everyone quietly, the broken man who wanted to be alone to find his way, I’ve outgrown that part of me.

This journey keeps moving on, the days I have remained Sober keep growing, currently standing at 495, this Sunday will see that count click over to 500, where better to celebrate that landmark than in Church, with the people who I have stuck by me and helped me along the way.

I am free of my addiction through the Grace of God to forgive me for what I became, He saved me from myself, because He has bigger plans for me.

I took a journey into darkness, I lost myself doing it, but I found so much more whilst I was there, in the Darkness I found the Light of the World and He set me free.

FREE by JEREMY CAMP
The day I stopped and listened
Heard the sound of love
Asking to be let in

Offering a new life
And giving me a chance
To start over again
You reached out to me
And now I sing

And I am free
And I am free
My sin was wrapped around me
Trying to drown me
You have set me free
And I am free
And I am free
The chains that held me tightly
Are finally lifting
You took this weight from me
Now I’m free

Covered by Your mercy
Captured by a hope that will always remain
I can stop and breathe now
Resting in the shelter of Your name
You reached out to me
And now I sing

And I am free
And I am free
My sin was wrapped around me
Trying to drown me
You have set me free
And I am free
And I am free
The chains that held me tightly
Are finally lifting
You took this weight from me

No more fear inside me
I will trust completely
Your love overtakes me
And nothing else has made me free
I am free

Free
And I am free
My sin was wrapped around me
Trying to drown me
You have set me free
And I am free
And I am free
The chains that held me tightly
Are finally lifting
You took this weight from me
And now I’m free

The chains that held me tightly
Are finally lifting
You took this weight from me
And now I’m free

Time For Post 300

So now I reach my 300th post and what do you talk about on your 300th post, well, as it seems so long ago I’ll talk about this Blog and that first post, “The Precipice”, even if it is just 233 days ago since the bottle was opened.

In that time I’ve made so many great friends over this Blog and hopefully I’ll make so many more.  What is amazing is that in that time and after over 1200 comments received on various posts, I have still yet to receive any feedback I would consider negative or derogatory, I have received nothing but kindness, support, inspiration and love, all of this from people I have never met and from people I probably will never meet, but I want you all to know how much your support, your comments and your likes mean to me.

This Blog has been a great source of release for me, it’s been therapy for me, to really delve into my feelings, it’s helped to find out some of the reasons why I found myself where I was, honest was what I have set out to be, to tell my story with complete honesty, I believed from the day I met with Gareth and Alex that it was the only way forward, the only way to truly deal with a problem is to admit you have it in the first place, not hide it or hide the key facts of it, I had been doing that for years, not anymore.

When I feel I can’t talk to people face to face about my feelings, I find I can write them, just let them flow through the keyboard and post on here, sometimes reluctantly, I know that I can say it with honesty without having to look anyone in the eye with embarrassment, but I receive the support and inspiration I need.

I didn’t expect that when I started this, I didn’t expect the level of support I have received, actually I’m not sure what I expected, but it certainly wasn’t what I’ve found.

I set out with a lot of ideas for posts and preparation for my posts, some of those posts were within the first few weeks, although a lot of the preparation was never completed, some of that work is still going on behind the scenes.  Only a few of the post I had written in the early days haven’t been posted, they are still stuck in my drafts folder, when I returned to them sometime later I realised they were rants and put others in a bad light, when really I was the bad light in my life, no-one else, I am responsible for where I found myself and how things turned out, I made the wrong choices and I must learn to live with them, not seek to blame others.  Other ideas are still to be written, most of these are just a little about me, my work, my karate and family, background information really, I will get around to these at some point.

It was while walking that I started thinking about doing this blog, over a few weeks I had ideas for posts in my mind, then I actually started typing up a number of them, but they sat there a little longer, I just couldn’t make that step to actually starting this, I liked the idea of sharing my story and hopefully inspiring others, but was a little apprehensive about taking such a huge step about being so open.

So on the 6th October 2012 as I returned from a walk a song came on my iPod that broke me down, it was like a slap in the face.  I took a look at my journal entry for that day, I pointed out to myself that I had actually taken a walk up that hill that morning, thinking about what I could do with a blog, seemingly already celebrating what I hadn’t achieved, but the lyrics of the song said:

I dreamt I stood on a hill that I wished was a mountain
To look back on all my accomplishments
Well they must have been small because I couldn’t seem to find them
So I took a leap off of the precipice

It was true, what were my accomplishments, at that point I couldn’t seem to find them either, maybe it was time to take that leap.

Whatever the cost
Whether it works out or not
I’ll follow you with my heart

Then these lyrics changed everything, on hearing this I knew it was time to stop deliberating and go for it, whatever the cost, just go for it, it was a message I couldn’t ignore.  I returned home to start creating this site, I didn’t really have a clue what I was doing, I wrote a post called “The Precipice” named after the song which had inspired me that morning and took that leap.  Sometimes when I listen back to this song, it still moves me to tears, a song of both beauty and power, it still provokes a reaction in me every time.

Again, I’m so glad I did, I set out to inspire and give hope to others, I hope I’ve done that over the months, but more importantly, I’ve been inspired and been given hope in my low times, thank you all.

And would I want to be to be any other blogger, as today’s Daily Prompt asks, the answer is quite simply NO!!!

So there is only one way to finish a post here on the Bottom of a Bottle, that’s with a song to inspire, a song that generally but not always compliments the post, well this time I return to the beginning and the song that inspired me, enjoy.

THE PRECIPICE by THE CLASSIC CRIME
I wish I could play the violin
I’d play ‘til tears rolled down your cheek and chin
And if you sang along
We could write the saddest song

Sometimes I indulge my every whim
And piece-by-piece I build the cell I’m in
But I only stay here long enough
To write the saddest song

I dreamt I stood on a hill that I wished was a mountain
To look back on all my accomplishments
Well they must have been small because I couldn’t seem to find them
So I took a leap off of the precipice

I wish I could play piano well
I’d hit the keys that make your spirit swell
And if you sang along
We could write the saddest song 

Whatever the cost
Whether it works out or not
Whatever the cost
Whether it works out or not
I’ll follow you with my heart

The Hope That Lies In You – A Sound In The Darkness

Last Saturday evening I posted about the song Accidents Can Happen and it’s place in my life just prior to slipping into a darkness that would last a couple of years, until I had nowhere left to turn except to God.  Again I post about a song that featured in my bleak world, that I don’t really know how it fitted in, why I held onto it, but didn’t understand it, it’s message was clear or it is now anyway, but despite listening to it dozens of times in those lost years, I never grasped that hope, not until that whisper.

When I look back I see that I added this song to my iPod in June 2010, right in the middle of the turmoil, not before, but right in the heart of it.  At that time I was into Christian rock music and contemporary Christian music, but at that time I stayed away from anything that I would now consider worship music, inspirational music yes, but anything that openly worshipped God or Jesus I would maybe add to my iPod, but not to my regular playlist, a few made it through, mainly by artists like Casting Crowns, Third Day and Tenth Avenue North, etc, but not many, I have rediscovered many since embracing God, looking back I’ve found many songs on there which I had previously dismissed, songs of both inspiration and worship.

But this song made it to my favourites playlist and it actually became one of the songs that I would just listen to, not wait for it to come around as part of a random shuffle, I would actually search for it, play it and even sing along to it.  I obviously heard the music and the words, I would sing it, but I still found myself lacking any hope.

It is quite simply a beautiful song with a fantastic message, a message that this week is more relevant than ever.  This week has seen our own small town have it’s community rattled by an explosion, seen parts of Oklahoma reduced to rubble by a tornado and then in Woolwich, London, a young soldier brutally murdered in broad daylight, quite simply this is what we need right now:

We need your hope to come down
We need your grace to pour out
We need your love to shine down
We need the face of God now

I don’t know why, but I loved this song when I first heard it, I loved it in my darkness, maybe subconsciously I was holding on to the hope the lyrics talked about, but I didn’t feel the hope, I sang the words, but didn’t believe, but I love the song now as much as I ever have.

I’ve wanted to use the song a few times before, but again I couldn’t find a youtube video, so with a little time this afternoon to relax, I thought I would put one together for it, as I thought it was time to share the sentiments, I hope you enjoy the song as much as I do.

THE HOPE THAT LIES IN YOU by THE GLORIOUS UNSEEN
We can hear the sound of all creation sing
A song to heal the earth
A song to spark a dream
Where are you optimists?
We need your strength in this
There’s a stirring in your soul
That cannot be controlled
This is the hope that lies in you

We can hear the sound of all the earth rejoice
With angels all around
Lifting up their voice
Where are you hopeful ones?
Have we come undone?
There’s a stirring in your soul
That cannot be controlled
This is the hope that lies in you

Through all the questioning
You’ve been the hope in me
Despite uncertainty
You’ve been the only constant thing
When I’m struggling
You keep on loving me the same
This is the hope that lies in you

Come Down
We need your hope to come down
We need your grace to pour out
We need your love to shine down
We need the face of God now

Behind The Scenes Revamp

Going back to between Christmas and New Year I started some behind the scenes renovations that I wanted to carry out on this blog, the main one was the to totally overhaul my Music For Inspiration section, I wanted to simplify it a little and list the songs by artist.

Back then, even after only about 100 posts, it was slow process to sort and basically I abandoned my attempt and any changes to the Music page, I’ve been meaning to revisit the page for sometime, but never felt the urge to pick it up and start again.

So a little devoid of ideas of what to post this evening, I decided to pick up where I left off in January and revise that section of my blog, but unfortunately as it is a bigger task than a few hours this evening, there still isn’t much to see, but I will continue working on this and other changes over the coming weeks.

Don’t worry I don’t intend to change the content of what I write and how I write it, it will remain me, written by me, as always completely honest and completely me.

On another sadder note, some of you may remember these two characters from my post A Left Eye & The Guinea Fowl:

Sophie & James, The Donkeys

Sophie & James, The Donkeys

For over five years my first job upon arriving at work was to tend to these two lovable rogues, each morning I would put out their food, top up their water, periodically clean out their hooves, hold them whilst the farrier clipped their hooves and well the worst job relating to a pair of donkeys, is applying ointment to a male donkey’s privates, whist the other eats your jacket and you’re constantly watching that the bloody thing doesn’t take offence and kick you in the head.

Luckily for me James knew I was really there to help and refrained from kicking me in the head, but that didn’t stop Sophie trying to eat my jacket all the time, fun times and happy days.

But sadly this week I received the news that both donkeys were killed over the weekend, on Saturday morning they both escaped from their paddock and made their way across the neighbouring fields, only to find themselves on the train lines close by, where tragically they were hit and killed by the high speed London to Edinburgh train.

Having spent so many good times with the two of them, it is quite upsetting to hear of their fate, but also there is a sense of comfort that there was no great loss of life, the train it seemed continued with no significant damage and no injury to any persons.  A train hitting two donkeys at high speed could have ended in a fairly serious accident, thank God it didn’t and only two innocent donkeys lost their lives.

Rooftops by Jesus Culture
Here I am before you
Falling in love and seeking your truth
Knowing that your perfect grace
Has brought me to this place
Because of you I freely live
My life to you, oh God, I give

So I stand before You God
I lift my voice because you set me free

So I shout out your name from the rooftops I proclaim
That I am Yours, I am yours

All the good You’ve done for me
I lift up my hand up hand for all to see
You’re the only one
Who brings me to my knees
To share this love across the earth
The beauty of Your Holy Word

So I stand before You God
I lift my voice because you set me free

So I shout out your name from the rooftops I proclaim
That I am Yours, I am Yours
All that I am I place into Your loving hands
And I am Yours, I am Yours

Here I am, I stand with arms wide open
To the one, the Son, the everlasting God 

 

Glory To God Forever by Vicky Beeching

I really love this song and have been looking to include it within a post for sometime, but again the age old problem, I couldn’t find a video on youtube, I started making one a few months ago, but never completed it, but after a great day at Church early today, I came home and decided to finish it, to just simply pick an image and go with it.

I hope you enjoy the song as much as I do.

Glory to God
Glory to God
Glory to God forever
Creator God You gave me breath
So I could praise
Your great and matchless name
All my days all my days
So let my whole life be
A blazing offering
A life that shouts and sings
The greatness of the King
Take my life and let it be
All for You and for Your glory
Take my life and let it be Yours
(Glory To God Forever by Vicky Beeching)