Tag Archives: Dreams

The Dream – Genesis 40:5-8

The Dream – Genesis 40:5-8

Last night I dreamt I drank again
Stole the wine and hid it away
In solitude I drank three jars
And hid the empty vessels again
I lied to those around me
Denied I had stole or drank the wine
As the disgrace and guilt arose
But was this all just a dream
I couldn’t tell as I awoke
Through the day I felt so guilty
Dream or coming reality I couldn’t tell
Lord tell me it’s all a dream
None of this will come to pass
All this belongs to the old me
Not the one who rose again
These dreams darken my being
Makes the guilt stronger than my hope
Lord tell me none of this vision
Will ever awaken again

Genesis 40:5-8

Genesis 40:5-8

Drinking Dreams

From time to time, like most people, I have quite vivid dreams. Some just strange, some fairly normal (not many) and some with reoccurring themes. There’s nothing strange about that, this is I guess fairly normal for most people.

Just one dream haunts me now, only a few months ago I remember thinking that I hadn’t experienced this dream in a long time, in the previous five years it had been one of those bad reoccurring dreams, that left me frozen. But now I remember thinking that if this dream had passed into memory them I have made another significant step in recovery from my alcohol addiction.

Then just a few days later it came back.

The worst thing about this reoccurring dream is the immense feeling of guilt, when I wake it leaves me confused, stunned and filled with guilt and sorrow.

In these dreams I see myself having innocently taking a drink of alcohol, it doesn’t matter if it is just a sip or a skin full, as soon as I see that image in my mind and there within the dream I experience a mass of guilt and then immediately I wake and that guilt stays.

I wake in a state of complete confusion, not knowing if the guilt is real, I’m cold inside, frozen, I believe I’ve lost it all. Sometimes I even have to look around my room to check the evidence of drinking is not there, looking for the glass or bottle that I have just seen myself drink from, I search for it to make sure it was just a dream.

It can take a while to come to the realisation that this is only dream, trying to get back to sleep, still shaking from the overriding guilt is hard. The last thing you want is to drift back into the same dream, but at the same time you need the peace that sleep can bring, I hate these dreams, they are my nightmares.

You would say that a night,are would generally involve a monster of some kind chasing after you, in my dreams the monster is me, that part of my past that will probably always chase me. I had hoped I had ran far enough away for it not to catch and chase me anymore, but it is still there, my monster is still chasing, but I am determined that it will never catch me.

It can try to take in my sleep, but it won’t get me in my life.

I was given the strength by God to resist, that strength I will carry with me always, if I choose to, and I do.

Psalm 46:1-3

Psalm 46:1-3

Dreams will always come and go in life, but God doesn’t, He never leaves.

OF MEN AND ANGELS by THE ROCKET SUMMER
Stop the press, everything’s a mess
You can look alive, but you are not at rest.
And i-ideas are flowing through your head
A million miles an hour while lying in your bed
A lucid life you never thought you’d lead
Are you working everyday?
Are you working just to bleed?
I know

You’re staring at the names of the famed that are dipped in gold
The feeling you deserve what you’ve heard
But it doesn’t go that way

Oh, the tongues of men and angels
I speak but lack love.
Oh, love, will I stab you in the back?
Working everyday,
I’m afraid I forgot to show what’s most important: love

Here I am, dear Lord, tasting hints of fame
And I don’t want it anymore
If it’s not you that I gain
Wanna fall at your feet
Don’t wanna fall from your peace
I understand

Have you ever been the man that just ran
When you knew that God was talking?
Have you ever heard his voice through the noise
But just let it go away?

Oh, the tongues of men and angels
I speak but lack love.
Oh, love, will I stab you in the back?
How can I go with mine instead of yours
When yours is always right
I’m sorry just pour into me love

Here I am, dear Lord, tasting hints of fame
And I don’t want it anymore
If it’s not you that I gain
Wanna fall at your feet
Don’t wanna fall from your peace
I understand

A heart at rest is harder now
Don’t let it go away
A hard earned pay, a hard earned pain
Right now they’re just the same
What’s the use, why work so hard
When it’s not what you crave
When what you need is: love.

Here I am, dear Lord, tasting hints of fame
And I don’t want it anymore
If it’s not you that I gain
Wanna fall at your feet
Don’t wanna fall from your peace
I understand

Here I am, dear Lord, tasting hints of fame
And I don’t want it anymore
If it’s not you that I gain
Wanna fall at your feet
Don’t wanna fall from your peace
I understand

Dreams – Genesis 40:5-8

Dreams – Genesis 40:5-8

I’ve dreamed for much
And dreamed for little
Some make sense
Many so unbelievable
Will any come true?
Will I touch the vision?
Or is it all just in my mind?
To be lost to the pillow
So I take them to the Father
Pray upon their image
To hear of His word
To clarify my dreams
In Him I will find
All the truth that will be
So for now I will carry on
And have the courage to dream

Genesis 40:5-8

Genesis 40:5-8

Where White Fades To Black

Where White Fades To Black

Once my dreams
Were filled with colour
But now I only see them
In black and white
Will soon this white
Fade to the black
Another dimension lost
Soon there will none at all
My dreams become my prayers
For in heaven there’s another dimension
In heaven there’s abundant colour
I call to the Father to see my dreams
To hear my prayers
To turn the black to great light
To breathe life into the dying
So there will come a day
My dreams will live
And my hands will be empty no more

Hopes And Dreams

Hopes And Dreams

Are my hopes
Just dreams I’ve wrapped around my heart
Will they be touchable
Or just distant thoughts
All rolling around inside my mind
Intertwined with the pain of the past
Still You say to me to trust in You

“Hold onto my hopes
Believe in my dreams
None have withered
None yet have died”

All are prayers
To be answer at the time
Of the Father intentions
Not at the deadlines
Set by my heart

The Dream

The Dream

I’ve seen it
Night after night
In my dreams
All I need is simple courage
To just take a hand
And all will become new
Yet when morning comes
And I see it all there just as my dreams
My finger tips long to reach a hand
Still I walk on by
Defeated by eternal fear of rejection
The pain rises with the sun
To wear off with the day
I’ll see it once again this night
And repeat this pain again
A vision I pray for
A vision of hope I hold to
Still this fear inside
Rules my life
I walk defeated by my pride
So before I slumber
I close my eyes
I pray to You my Lord
Bring my dreams back to life
To erase this fear
Rebuild these ruins
To a fortress of love
Brought to life under Your light
Tonight I’ll dream
In the morning I’ll wake
I just pray it won’t be the same