Tag Archives: Flood

And I Still Can’t Find The Cat!

I had great intentions for Thursday, I had booked the day off work to get a bit of work done for the Architects and also planned to do a few things around the house before friends from my Church Connect group came around later in the evening.

I needed to get stuck into some drawings before I go away next weekend, so I planned to get up fairly early and get quite a few hours in and then sort out my front room. That was the plan anyway.

I woke early Thursday morning with my early alarm, I switched it off and intended to sleep in for while as I didn’t have to be at work at 7.30am.  It was just after 4.15 in the morning, then I heard running water, like a tap dripping.  I couldn’t remember hearing that the evening before, so I got up to investigate.

A few weeks ago I finally left the settee in the front room and moved into the downstairs rear bedroom.  It was the first time in over seven years that I have slept in a bed in this house.  My room has a hall between it and the kitchen, I looked out of my door into the kitchen and there I saw it, the kitchen and hall floor were swimming in water!

The sound of the dripping was coming from the kitchen ceiling, water was falling onto the worktops and the tiled floors, it was dripping down the walls, it was everywhere.

I ran through the kitchen and straight upstairs to the bathroom above, wondering if I had left anything running, I couldn’t remember doing so, but that was where the water was coming from.

When I got to the bathroom, it was swimming in water too.  The tiled floor was deep in water and it seemed to be coming from the toilet.  I couldn’t make out where, until I saw the big crack down the rear corner of the cistern.  The water had been flooding out and obviously the float valve just kept letting it try to refill. There was water everywhere.  I grabbed all the towels I could find and put them down on the floor around the toilet and ran back downstairs to find the stopcock and switch off the water.

I put a few towels down on the kitchen floor to mop up what was there and waited for the water to stop dripping through the ceiling.  I rang my Dad just before 8am and explained what had happened, He used to fit kitchens and bathrooms, so he came around with Mum to take a look.  We tied the valve up in the closed position so it would stop trying to refill the toilet, that way I could switch the water back on.

I went to see if I could just replace the cistern, but the chances of getting one to fit where small, it seems I may need to replace the whole toilet, so for now that can wait until I get back to work next week and I can order a new one through work and get someone to fit it.

We cleaned and mopped up as much of the water as possible, but that was my morning gone, the plan for the day had flown out the window and I was shattered.  I opened up the kitchen and bathroom windows as wide as possible to air both rooms, hoping they would dry out quicker, then I went back to bed for a while, to catch up on the sleep I missed that morning.

I gave up on the idea of getting any work done or getting things done around the house, by the time I woke again, I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind.  Mid afternoon I was laying on my bed, just watching the TV, when I thought that I heard something in the kitchen, I got up and went to look.

That’s when I saw a small cat in the hall, I don’t have a cat, I’m not a big cat lover.

The back door was locked so it didn’t get in there, I shouted at it to get out and gave chase, but I don’t know where it went, it was faster than I was, I couldn’t see it downstairs, I heard a noise upstairs, so I ran up there, closing the door to the stairs behind me, it wasn’t up there either, by now I am starting wonder if I am seeing things.

I still can’t find that cat and I haven’t seen it in the street the last few days since, it’s a small cat from about ten doors down from me, I see it most days in the front gardens, but not since!  I am hoping that the noise I heard was the cat jumping back out the bathroom window onto the roof of my bedroom below, I think that is where it came in from and hopefully went back out of.

I can live without using that toilet for a while, I still have a toilet downstairs, so that’s not a problem, it’s just that I could do without the expense at the moment, I am taking the kids away next week, although my Mum and Dad have paid for the caravan, I still need spending money for us all.  I still need a few things in my bedroom too, I don’t have much furniture, what I do have friends and family have donated to me.

At one point on Thursday I was beginning to think why me, why just as I thing I am getting somewhere and moving on, something like this happens to set me back.

Early last year I heard God’s voice say to me that “the seven years of drought will soon be over and trust me that prosperity will come”, just as for the first time in seven years I feel I am really moving on from the past situations, little things like this come against me.

But I put this aside and refuse to be beaten down by it, it’s a setback, yes, but it’s not the end, I will get past it and will continue to trust in God’s promise that prosperity will come.  I have come too far to let a broken toilet and flooded rooms stop me, it’s all cleaned up now, I can get a replacement toilet cheaply through work and someone to fit, all will be fine.

After all the initial feeling of why me, it all seemed to fade away later that evening when my friends were around, I actually found it quite funny and obviously the toilet jokes were plenty.

So I refuse to see this as a setback, it’s just an obstacle, but I will get over it and move on.

But I still can’t find the cat!!!!!

GIVE ME AMAZING GRACE by JACKSON WATERS
I don’t wanna be
Stuck in this misery
I tried my best to make it on my own
But I’m in way too deep
So deep that I can’t sleep
I just wait for the sun to break the dawn

And I’ve given up on myself
I’m giving in to someone else
To wash away the madness
‘Cause you don’t care what’s happened
You don’t even think about the things that I’ve done wrong

So give me a new start
Creating me a new high
And pull me in to your sweet embrace
Gimme amazing grace

Now I wanna sing
And tell about the mystery
Of how someone can love a wretch like me
‘Cause You can make a blind man see
You can change their destiny
Of everyone that comes to you and believes

You’re got to give up on ourselves
And give in to someone else
To wash away the madness
‘Cause you don’t care what’s happened
You don’t even think about the things that I’ve done wrong

So give me a new start
Creating me a new high
And pull me in to your sweet embrace
Gimme amazing grace
Check Out

Giving up on ourselves
Giving in to someone else
To wash away the madness
‘Cause you don’t care what’s happened
You don’t even think about the things that I’ve done wrong

So give me a new start
Creating me a new high
And pull me in to your sweet embrace
Gimme amazing grace
Gimme amazing grace
Gimme amazing grace
Gimme amazing grace

Tested (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Tested (1 Corinthians 10:13)

I have been tested
Thrown deep into the fire
I felt the heat rise
Yet He never left my side
Together we walked from the flames
Into the freedom beyond

I was washed away by the flood
As the tide charged down my path
For a while I slipped beneath the waves
Yet He was always there at my side
Together we walked upon the waters
Onto the golden shores beyond

1 Corinthians 10:13

1 Corinthians 10:13

Fearing Yet Another Fall!

I know I touched on this subject in my post on Wednesday evening, but it seems like this is something that just won’t go away, a feeling, a thought that just keeps coming back into my head and everyday just checks my movement forward.

I know I’ve written about this some time ago, but back in October last year I had a vision, I was simply sat in my living room one Sunday lunchtime and it played out in front of me, like I was watching a video screen, an image of me climbing some steps, only to be washed away by an on rushing tide of water, as the waters kept flowing some time passed and I watched as I stood again and once more tried to make it up the steps, only to be washed away once more, before the vision disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

Just weeks later I found myself in a pit of depression, swinging from being in a constant state of tears to a state of nothingness, a numbness, vacantly staring into nothing.  It affected my work, in fact it was all I could do to stop myself from walking out of my job, I nearly did on a number of occasions, before I found the courage to explain to my colleagues what was happening.

Even my faith was rocked, I found myself distant and unable to give anything in Church and even spent one evening in my Connect Group, just sat there in tears, unable to explain, unable to connect to anyone, I just didn’t know how to feel or what to feel, I certainly didn’t know how to truly express it to anybody.

That was until I made the decision to see a Doctor, I was put on anti-depressants, that was six months ago this coming Tuesday, my first course of tablets will come to an end, but for now I will remain on them.  Once the tablets kicked in things gradually improved and I began to get back to my old self.  There have been the odd lapse, the odd time where I dipped back into those dark days of November, but on the whole it been better, a lot better.

But over this last month now, this vision which preceded this depression has been on my mind, “Am I heading for the second downfall?”

I just can’t help but feel I am heading for another breakdown of sorts, I find myself constantly praying each day for The Lord to just hold on to me, just for a little while longer, to stop me from falling again.  Some days I find encouragement is His word that everything will be okay, then other days I just can’t shake the feeling that it will all come crashing down again.

I know a couple of weeks back I started to go through my drafts of poems from the last few months, I hadn’t written any for a while and started by finishing some old ones, then over this last week I have written a few new ones.  Many are sparked by that feeling of fear of failure once more, I write for help and then I write what I feel is the response to the poem, it becomes a form of prayer and answer conversation, between me and God.

This morning as we prayed in Church, I had what ran through my head was a prayer in the form of poetic words, I felt I should write it down, remember it, but even just a few hours later, I actually couldn’t remember what it was, I can’t remember any of the words, even though I felt them quite profound at the time.

I wanted to post that prayer in the form a poem this evening, but obviously I can’t, as I just can’t remember what it was that was going through my head and the words I used.

But that said, when I tried to remember it earlier, to start to capture what I had in my mind, but couldn’t, I got a deep feeling, that this prayer had been taken from me, I wasn’t to worry about it any more, it was in hand, it was being answered, all in good time, His time.

Honestly, I don’t know what the next few weeks or months will hold, whether I will be wiped out again or whether my prayers will be answered.  It’s a hard fight sometimes, each day I have to live with the consequences of my past, it impossible to get away from without just upping sticks and moving away to a brand new start and that’s not something I wish to do.

I still have a lot of wrongs to right, in many different areas of my life, I fight on many fronts and it can be tiring, it wears me down from time to time, plus that fear of yet another fall lingers strong.

But for tonight, I’m going to have faith that my prayer of earlier has been lifted from me, that I needed worry about what was wrapped up in those words, it’s all in hand, just carry on everything will be all right.

 GRACE AND LOVE by KUTLESS
Many things in life are hard for me 
Many things can pull us down 
I don’t understand why I do what I do 
How could I take my eyes off you 
After all You’ve done for me 
And after all You’ve done for me 

It’s by Your grace and love I am saved 
It’s by Your grace and love You’ve forgiven me 
And by that love and grace I’m amazed 
It’s by Your grace and love I am free 
I am free, I am free, I am free 

And it’s by grace and love that I am free 
I’ll live with You eternally 
I thank you Lord that I am free 
I thank You Lord for loving me 
I thank You Lord for dying upon the tree of Calvary 
I thank You Lord for loving me 
I thank You Lord for dying for me 

Because it’s by grace and love I am saved 
It’s by Your grace and love You’ve forgiven me 
And by that love and grace, I’m amazed 
It’s by Your grace and love I am free 
I am free, I am free, I am free 

Many things in life are hard for me 
Many things can pull us down 
But by grace and love You’ve forgiven me 
And by grace and love we are free