Tag Archives: Friends

Replaced The Bottle – Ephesians 5:15-20

Replaced The Bottle – Ephesians 5:15-20

Replaced the bottle
With a song
The sick feeling
With joy
All change
When I took
The hand of the Lord
Now I give thanks
For all He has done

Ephesians 5:15-20
Ephesians 5:15-20

My Destruction – Proverbs 16:18

My Destruction – Proverbs 16:18

My destruction
All my pride
Could it all have been avoided
If I had opened up my world
Let them in sooner
To the darkness
And the despair
Could the fall have been less
If not for stubborn pride
A typical man
Wouldn’t show my weakness
Not until it was too late
And all came down
Then pride fell
And the light came in
To set me free
From the worst of myself
To open the doors
To a better path
To a better life

Proverbs 16:18
Proverbs 16:18

Just Hold On – Isaiah 35:4

Just Hold On – Isaiah 35:4

To all those
Treading the same paths
I wandered once before
Times long ago
When the bottle
A strange partner
In an effort
To break my world
To you
I say this
Hold on
Be strong
I know the pain
The emptiness
The despair
But He will come
Just wait
Stay strong
The world will change
Darkness to light
Hope from despair
So fear not
The time will come
Just hold on

Isaiah 35:4
Isaiah 35:4

9 Years Sober

So today brings up nine years sober, I almost forgot this year, for the last few weeks I’m not sure what day it is!

I’m currently on garden leave as I have given my notice to leave my job for one at another merchants, so for the last four weeks I have barely left the house.  As I wasn’t furloughed last year, we worked right through lockdown, it been an nice change of pace, but with no real routine I’m not sure what day it is from one day to the next, oh well, a few more weeks and I should have some routine back.

This last year hasn’t been easy, I am still troubled by the same chest problem that started at the begin of last year, I still have a persistent cough and shortness of breath, I’ve seen a specialist and am now on the second attempt at treatment by medication, which still isn’t really sorting the problem out, I have a telephone appointment next month with the respiratory specialist, but if there is no change by then, he will refer me to the Ear Nose and Throat department to see if anything in the throat is causing the problem.

At it’s worst, I can cough so hard I start to pass out, everything goes fuzzy, my ears buzz and my body goes numb, it’s take a minute or two to come back around to normal, this at times was happening four or five times an hour, not great when I was at work.  At the moment it isn’t that bad, but I guess I’ve not been very active either, today I’ve been out for a couple of walks with friends, the second one this evening was the longest I’ve walked since these problems started, so at this moment of time I am coughing quite a bit, hopefully it will settle down over the evening.  At times last year walking to work was a problem, I would get half way and be so short of breath that my legs would begin to ache so bad, I would have to struggle the rest of the way and then hopefully recharge a little bit when I got to work.  This from someone who usually could go out on a twelve or thirteen mile walk at a fast pace with no problems at all. 

Health problems aside, I am still sober, it still has it temptation every now and again, but as each year passes they get easier to deal with.  I still get that strength from the Lord, it’s not mine.

I thank God for that strength, the mercy and grace that forgave a mess like me.  I thank God for the friends He brought me to, that help pick me up when I’m down, I thank Him too for everyone who has heard or read my story and offered any amount of encouragement or support, I thank everyone for that support, you certainly help to make this journey easier.

This is just year nine, this is still the beginning of a journey that will continue for many years to come, I’ve never treat like it’s the end or the middle, I chose to see it as the beginning and that way it always going to remind me that there is a long way to go, so there is still a lot of hard work and perseverance to go.

I heard this song on the end credits of a film I watch recently, I immediately downloaded it and have been listening to it everyday ever since, I pray this gift will last forever.

THIS GIFT by GLEN HANSARD
This gift will last forever
This gift will never let you down
Some things are made from better stuff
This gift is waiting to be found

Your heart’s in wide receiving
Been too long buried in the sand
Some things require leaving
This gift will fall right in your hand
Just try to understand

If you long enough
And you don’t give up
If you’re strong enough
And you don’t give up
And you

You’ll be no harbor to the sorrow
Just let it go

Don’t hang your head in sorrow
Don’t give up just before you win
Don’t wait around for tomorrow
Open up your arms and let it in

This gift will last forever
This gift will never let you down
Some things are made from better stuff
This gift is ready to be found
Just you believe it now

This gift will last forever
This gift will never let you down
Some things are made from better stuff
This gift is ready to be found
Your heart’s in wide receiving
Been too long buried in the sand
Some things require believing
These things just fall right in your hand
Just try to understand

If you long enough
And you don’t give up
If you’re strong enough
And you don’t give up

Beneath His Light – 1 John 1:7

Beneath His Light – 1 John 1:7

In the light together
We walk beneath His light
In fellowship
A kingdom as one
Our sin removed
As we see truth
Beneath the light
The chosen
The saved
All together
In fellowship
Walking beneath His light

1 John 1:7

1 John 1:7

None Of Us – 1 Peter 2:17

None Of Us – 1 Peter 2:17

None of us
Can make it alone
We all need friends
We all need a guide
So respect and love
The friends you have
And those you don’t know
Honour and love
God the Father
And then know this
Wherever you go
You never go alone

1 Peter 2:17

1 Peter 2:17

8 Years Sober

It’s hard to believe I’ve made it through to eight years sober today, usually something to celebrate, but here alone in this uncertain period of lock down it seems trivial and not really worth the celebration.

Its been a tough last nine months, I spent the second half of last year suffering with headaches, in the end the doctors put them down to tension headaches. At first they thought it was because my blood pressure had gone back up to sky high levels, despite the tablets, so with some experimentation with different tablets and numerous trips back to the doctors it came back down, but the headaches remained, thankfully they became less severe and manageable that I just got used to them.

For the last twelve weeks I’ve had a cough that just won’t go, that was before this Covid-19 virus had made the news, again despite frequent trips back to the doctors and blood tests and x-rays, they still can not diagnose it, so now I have been referred to a specialist because they down know what’s going on, when that’s going to happen given the current situation is anyone’s guess. At least for the time being at has eased, it hurts my ribs to cough now, at least I’m not almost passing out each time I cough, that was hard going for a while.

Given the symptoms of this virus and a persistent couch being one of them, I have been worried, any sign of a temperature I start to panic, but so far it’s all okay. Imagine going to the shop and not being able to stop myself coughing, I’ve definitely had some funny looks in the last few weeks. It’s a worrying time for all at the moment, although we may not like this lock down that most of us face, but it is necessary and those that make these decisions are doing what they can to save as many lives as possible.

But given all that, I’m still fighting, still sober, still thankful to our God for the grace of a second chance. I’m grateful for the people God has brought into my life to help me along the way, I couldn’t have done any of this without them.

RESCUE STORY by ZACH WILLIAMS
There I was empty-handed
Crying out from the pit of my despair
There You were in the shadows
Holding out Your hand You met me there

And now where would I be without You?
Where would I be, Jesus?

You were the voice in the desert
Calling me out in the dead of night
Fighting my battles for me
You are my rescue story
Lifted me up from the ashes
Carried my soul from death to life
Bringing me from glory to glory
You are my rescue story

You are, You are
You are my rescue story
You are, You are

You were writing the pages
Before I had a name
Before I needed grace, oh
Singing songs of redemption
‘Cause every time I ran away
You were louder than my shame

And now where would I be without You?
Where would I be, Jesus?

You were the voice in the desert
Calling me out in the dead of night
Fighting my battles for me
You are my rescue story
Lifted me up from the ashes
Carried my soul from death to life
Bringing me from glory to glory
You are my rescue story

You never gave up on me
You never gave up on me
You are my testimony, ooh…
You never gave up on me
You never gave up on me
You are my testimony, ooh…
You never gave up on me
Oh, You never gave up on me
Oh, this is my testimony

Oh, You were the voice in the desert
Calling me out in the dead of night
Fighting my battles for me
You are my rescue story
Lifted me up from the ashes
Carried my soul from death to life
Bringing me from glory to glory
‘Cause You are my rescue story

You are, You are (You are my rescue story)
Oh, You never gave up on me, never gave up on me
You are, You are
Yeah, You are my rescue story

Once A Foreigner – Deuteronomy 10:12-19

Once A Foreigner – Deuteronomy 10:12-19

There I was
Once a foreigner
To His kingdom
Yet He loved me
He welcomed me
He forgave me
And His people
They too loved me
They too welcomed me
And they too forgave me
Oh what a kingdom
Oh what a family
Oh what a mighty one
Our God truly is
To welcome the outcast
With open arms
To enter the family
And become one

Deuteronomy 10:12-19

Deuteronomy 10:12-19

Stand Firm – Philippians 4:1

Stand Firm – Philippians 4:1

And if I never meet you again
Know you’ve touched this life
In the name of the Lord made it better
Just for knowing you in this life
So this I hope of you
That you remain standing firm
In the ways of the Lord
And may influence the lives
Of many more to come

Philippians 4:1

Philippians 4:1

The Reason – Psalm 22:25

The Reason – Psalm 22:25

As they watch on
The faithful
And the unknowing
I know my reason
For being alive
For the voice behind my praise
You are the One
The only reason
The One who I praise
Before those around me

Psalm 22:25

Psalm 22:25