Tag Archives: Friends

6 Years Sober!!! – 29/3/12 to 29/3/18

Six years has gone by so fast, I still remember the events of that evening.  Just eleven days before my world had collapsed in around me and I was looking for the end.  I couldn’t take my life that day, I was to live to fight another day and the fight was to take control of my life.  I then met with Gareth, the Pastor of a local Church and things began to change.

The more I faced the truth, the more I actually found out about myself and how bad things had got.  For months now I had found myself on my settee drinking wine until the early hours, drinking until I simply fell asleep, sometimes I would even fall asleep clutching an open bottle!  I couldn’t leave an open bottle, I had to finish it, even if I awoke at six o’clock in the morning, I would drink the half bottle or so, go upstairs, get ready for work and set off for a days work, just as if this was a normal thing to do.  The people at work never suspected a thing, they couldn’t believe it when I tried to explain, they certainly couldn’t understand it.

After meeting with Gareth I never brought any alcohol into the house, I hadn’t drank at home at all, I fought that urge and I was winning.  Even going to the pub after training I had began to conquer too.  Instead of trying to drink five pints before going home to continue on wine, I had set my limit at two and gone home early, I hadn’t totally stopped drinking, but had taken control.

What I was beginning to realise though, was that with every pint, I disliked the taste more and more.  So that night six years ago, after training as we walked across to the pub, I stated to a friend that if I didn’t like the taste of the first pint, then that would be it, I would never drink again.

It’s surprising what state of mine can do when you have control, because that pint tasted like vinegar, it was awful, so I simply finished it and have never drank again.

It was almost as though I was willing that drink to be so bad that I wouldn’t drink ever again, because it was quite simply the worst taking drink I have ever had.  I am sure in reality it was a perfectly good pint of cider, but in that moment it tasted like the worst, I wanted it to taste that way and by some miracle it did.

That was at about 10.30pm Thursday 29th March 2012, now six years on, I am still sober, I still haven’t had a drink and still do not want to have a drink, ever again.

I can’t say I haven’t wanted to drink since then, the first few months were hard, especially when withdrawals set in.  For a few weeks every muscle and joint seemed to ache continuously, it started with constant headaches and spread right through my body.  I remember sitting in Church one Sunday when they were at their worst, I was just crying with the pain, it was painful to simply sit still and painful to move, pain killers weren’t having any effect, I was struggling.  I remember sitting alone wishing for it all to go away, so tempted to drink, because I knew the body was simply craving the alcohol that it had become accustom to, I knew if I had drink most of the pain would go away, but I also knew if I did drink, that all the pain of the previous few years would return and I would finally crack under the pressure of it all.

I saw a Doctor who prescribed me cocodomal, I knew this was an addictive painkiller, so I used it sparingly, but in all honesty by the time I got this the pain was beginning to slow and I think I was over the worst of it, so I used it only when I needed to and used only about half a dozen of the tablets I was prescribed.

Over time things got easier, when life hit bit bumps, like when my two Nans died within two months of each other, both times I was really low, even one occasion I felt like just walking out into the middle of the local lake, to be not be seen again, I felt like drinking, but knew I couldn’t.  Things were hard, but the different now was, that since God had been speaking into my life, He brought me into a group of people who cared for me, they were and still are my support group, they stand by me in my low moments and they celebrate with me in my high moments.

I can honestly say that in the last couple of years there has been little or no temptation to drink, but I still have trigger points that shake me.  I don’t go out on work parties, I don’t want to be where people are drinking to get drunk, I can go with people to a pub or restaurant who are drinking, if it is just social and they aren’t simply getting drunk, I can handle sitting there with my coke while the enjoy one or two pints, I can accept that, it’s fine for people to drink, if they have the control, but where people just want to get lost, I am not interested, the thought of even going brings me to a panic attack, so I simply say no and don’t go.

I can’t drink from anything that resembles a wine glass, I have been served fruit juice in a glass that looked like a wine glass, even though the contents were purely innocent and it was handed to me in all sincerity, I asked for it to be put into a different glass and explained my reasons, they were very understanding and apologized immediately.  Even those fruit juices in bottles that resemble wine bottles freak me out, I sat at a friends where they had some of these, again purely innocent fruit juice, but the look of the bottles were like what I used to drink and they freaked me out, that night I didn’t mention it, but I did explain the next time I saw them, they understood.

If a glass bottle or glass jar bang together in a bag I get freaked out, I have to carry glass jars in separate bags, the sound of glass bottle against bottle reminds me of how I used to sneak wine into the house, how I would try to keep them quiet so Victoria would know, when I hear that noise now, I feel like I have to hide them just the same and then I realise how stupid I am being, so I carry glass jars or bottles in separate bags, I’m not weird, I just have my reasons!!!

Life hasn’t been simple since then, it’s had it’s ups and downs, it’s had it’s highs and lows, but for the most part it has been good.

I have had my bad times, but I have hope that conquers it, I have been low and depressed, but my God has walked through every dark night with me, it has been six strong years and I pray for the next six and beyond, that they will all get stronger.

I love this song, it says everything I have to say to God.

FROM THE DAY by I AM THEY
When You found me, I was so blind
My sin was before me, I was swallowed by pride
But out of the darkness, You brought me to Your light
You showed me new mercy and opened up my eyes

From the day You saved my soul
‘Til the very moment when I come home
I’ll sing, I’ll dance, my heart will overflow
From the day You saved my soul

Where brilliant light is all around
And endless joy is the only sound
Oh, rest my heart forever now
Oh, in Your arms I’ll always be found

From the day You saved my soul
‘Til the very moment when I come home
I’ll sing, I’ll dance, my heart will overflow
From the day You saved my soul

My love is Yours
My heart is Yours
My life is Yours
Forever

My love is Yours
My heart is Yours
My life is Yours
Forever

From the day You saved my soul
‘Til the very moment when I come home
I’ll sing, I’ll dance, my heart will overflow
From the day You saved my soul

From the day You saved my soul
‘Til the very moment when I come home
I’ll sing, I’ll dance, my heart will overflow
From the day You saved my soul
From the day You saved my soul

When It’s Yourself You Are Scared Of

I guess I never really thought it was possible that one could get to the point in life where they have lost touch with who they are.  Is that really possible, can we get so far from who we were, that we know longer know ourselves?

For me the answer is a definite yes, six years ago today I believe I got to that point and I feared who I had actually become.

Flashback to Sunday 18th March 2012 and my whole world was collapsing in around me, five days before I finally realised what I had feared for over two years, that my relationship with Victoria was definitely over, my drinking had put paid to that and now there was no way back, my blindness to who I was had led me down a path that was dark and lonely, at this point in time I believed there was no way back for me.

In those five days since the truth of the situation had been released, I had hardly eaten, but my drinking was escalating and I now knew I couldn’t stop it.  Every time I felt the need to drink, I tried to fight it, but I couldn’t, there’s only so much scratching at the skin on your arms you can take, only so much pacing around the house like a bear in cage, I had to get out the house to the shop and get something to drink and every time that I did, I cried and repeated “I am sorry, I am so sorry”.

Come Saturday the 17th, after karate I went to the pub with friends and drank five pints of strong cider, I tried to get my friends to stay later, but they had lives to get on with, I didn’t any more, so on the walk home I stopped at the shop around the corner and purchased two bottles of wine and sat in my front room and drank them both, then went to bed almost completely sober, all that alcohol and I still believed I was normal, life was sad.

But that Sunday I began to collapse in on myself, I found myself in my bathroom staring into the mirror, crying, telling myself how useless I was, how the world would be better without me, how my kids would better off without me, how Victoria would be better off without me, everyone would be better off without me.  As I ran a bath, I stared into that mirror and held a knife at my wrists, my intention was to simply cut my wrists and get into that bath and wait to die, life no longer seemed worth living.

Then that voice!

My dark thoughts of worthlessness continued running through my mind and then one thought, although a voice, not mine, it couldn’t be mine, but that voice spoke calmly, quietly and simply said…

It is better that your kids live with you how you are now,
than live with the memory of what they will find.

Then I looked across at the bath and saw a vision that shock me.  It was as though I was not there, I was looking down upon the room, I could see myself in the bath, pale, lifeless and in bath of red water and then I looked across the room to the door to see my six year old daughter looking through the door at the same lifeless body I was seeing.

I put the blade down and simply broke down, the anger and the pain ran through me, I was so angry with who I was, all because I realised that I neither the courage to live or the courage to die, I was in no mans land, in the void between life and death and not sure how to get back.

I cleaned myself up and made it to karate, somehow putting on that karate suit made me become someone else, like a superhero putting on their costume, I left my life behind and became someone who seemed to have it all together, the man in the suit had no problems, showed no emotional damage and no signs of any out of control addiction.  But when the suit came off, it was straight to the pub and repeat the previous night, have five pints of strong cider, head home, drop by shop, buy two bottles of wine and proceed to drink as if this was completely normal.

During that day Victoria had given me the mobile number of her Pastor, I had know him a while even though I was not a Christian and had no intention of becoming one, but after life had began spiralling out of control over that week, I had ask to speak with Him.  Firstly it was purely selfish reasons, if I spoke with him, tell him how sorry I was, then maybe he could talk Victoria round and get us back together, but now after what had happened, I knew I needed to speak to him to get well, to get myself sorted out, I needed help and didn’t know who to speak to, only Gareth.

So Monday morning I sat alone in the house after everyone had gone out, fear was growing within and I tried to fight it.  I knew I had to make that phone call to Gareth, but I knew life would change if I did, the addict in me tried to fight it, it didn’t want to lose it’s power, but what was left that was human needed to talk, needed help.  I fought every fear and though shaking, I managed to make the call and Gareth answered.

I could hardly speak, I couldn’t even explain who I was, I tried to tell him I was Victoria’s partner, that’s how he knew me, but I couldn’t get the words out, just tears.  Luckily he worked out who it was and quickly gathered I needed help, he arranged to come see me that evening and talk.  I put the phone down and life seemed to change from that moment, a clarity start to grow.

Victoria was going out that evening, she knew I had spoken with Gareth, she knew he was coming to see me and bringing a friend that I knew also, she arranged for the kids to stay in their room whilst they were here, then she said something that shook me.  Normally if she was going out I would run to the shop and stock up with enough alcohol to get me through the night, so she asked if I needed to go to the shop before she went out?

That’s how she thought of me now, the hopeless one, addicted to drink, she had tried over the past two years to tell me, to help me, but as an addict you just don’t want to listen, you believe they are just getting at you and turn away.

But this night, I knew I couldn’t drink, this was the night to stop, how could she think I would drink in front of them, I reply with “why are we out of coffee?” and then broke down.

She asked if I was I alright and I said I was scared.  To which she replied that it would be okay, I knew Gareth and Alex, I didn’t need to be scared of them, but all I could say was…

I’m not scared of them, I’m scared of myself!

The sad fact was that I finally realised I didn’t know who I was anymore and tonight I would start to find out, the truth had to start somewhere and it was this evening, with these people.

I sat nervously waiting for them and then as they sat in my room, Gareth asked me what was happening and how things had got this way, all I could do was tell him what had happened over the last two years and in particular the last week, all of this between floods or tears, I don’t know how much I cried that night, I don’t think I have ever cried that much before or since.

In the course of the discussions I tried to explain how much I was drinking, I gave Gareth an amount, but it was a lie, I didn’t know I was lying that night, I didn’t know the truth myself, that would become clear over the next ten days, when I reached the point that I knew I could no longer drink.

But that night before Gareth and Alex, I began to find out who I had become and how low I was, it was a tough way to find out, but it seemed the best and maybe only way.

I didn’t realise until months later, that it was God that whispered in my ear that Sunday afternoon and told me my kids needed me, it was God who brought Gareth to my house that night, where he discussed the need for Christ in our lives and told me it was Christ who could calm the storms within my life.

Over the next ten days, I began to get control over my drinking and my life, from that previous night I no longer brought alcohol into the house or drank within my room, I was drinking at the pub with my friends, but I had control over it, just two pints, then home.

Then come the 29th of March, I came to realised that I no longer liked the taste of what I was drinking, it did nothing anymore, that night as I walked to the pub I stated that if I didn’t like the taste of the first drink, then that would be my last, that drink tasted like vinegar, it was the worst drink I had ever tasted, it was the last alcohol I ever consumed and I intend it to stay that way.

The truth is hard to take sometimes, if it’s the truth about ourselves we never want to hear it, we are afraid of it and refuse to believe it of ourselves, but sometimes we just can’t avoid it, I could avoid it no longer, because if I continued listening to my own lies, I would have carried those lives into an early grave.  I firmly believe that had Gareth not answered that call and came around that night, then I would not have made it through 2012, my health was a mess, my blood pressure way out of control, even though I was on my medication, my kidneys were being affected and as the episode before the mirror had not been the first time I had contemplated my life in that way, it was the closest that I come to taking it and I am sure that without that night, it would happen again and I would find myself closer to the edge of no return.

I am thank for Gareth answering that call that morning, I am thankful the Gareth and Alex came as friends to talk to me, but mostly I am thankful to God for bringing them into my life, that they may lead me to the Son, who would then lead me home.

HEALING BEGINS by TENTH AVENUE NORTH
So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you’re good
And you can’t believe it’s not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

So let ’em fall down
There’s freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We’re here now

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won’t disappear

So let ’em fall down
There’s freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We’re here now

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don’t fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Always Found – James 5:19-20

Always Found – James 5:19-20

If I turn and run
Who will follow me?
Will I be alone?
To wander the wilderness
Where hope fades
And tears fall
Who will come?
Will they see?
Of course they will
For He sees my heart
He set me within friends
Who belong to the kingdom
They will come
In my harder times
With words of truth
As to who I am
Can I ever be lost?
When I am always found

James 5:19-20

James 5:19-20

Rebuilt – 2 Chronicles 34:10-12

Rebuilt – 2 Chronicles 34:10-12

From broken walls
To rebuilt again
From my fall
You sent those to rebuild
Trusted and appointed
Stone by stone
They put me back together
Stronger than before
Back when I broke myself
The flood of poison wash me away
You set their hearts
Rebuilding bit by bit each day
Now I stand stronger
Against the winds of time
Rebuilt by the faithful
Appointed by the Lord

2 Chronicles 34:10-12

2 Chronicles 34:10-12

Twilight – 1 Corinthians 1:9

Twilight – 1 Corinthians 1:9

There’s a twilight
Setting around your soul
A doubt
A fear
A moment to fall
To let slide the belief
Sliding to darkness
Long since found
Why my friend?
Do you let it fall?
Set your face in prayer
Still you feel
You asked for the unaskable
You wanted the impossible
Set your dreams far too big
Now you think our God
Our mighty God
Is not great enough
To make your dreams
Came alive before your eyes
So you turn away
Let this twilight rise
Turn the light of day to night
Where darkness crawls
Within the skin
Setting fear against the hope
And there you are
Letting it win
My friend I sit here at your side
We’ve been here many times before
Today I need to say
Trust the Lord
Our faithful God
The One who gave
His Song for our souls
Your prayers He hears
Your dreams He sees
Our faithful God
Will answer all
When the time is right
When the moment is just
All will be revealed
All will be seen
The hope you cling to
Will burst to life
Before your eyes
The love of God comes alive
So here we sit
Together again
With God beside
And heave above
We will pray
We will believe
The twilight fades
To the brightest days
As hope grows
Before our eyes

1 Corinthians 1:9

1 Corinthians 1:9

And I Still Can’t Find The Cat!

I had great intentions for Thursday, I had booked the day off work to get a bit of work done for the Architects and also planned to do a few things around the house before friends from my Church Connect group came around later in the evening.

I needed to get stuck into some drawings before I go away next weekend, so I planned to get up fairly early and get quite a few hours in and then sort out my front room. That was the plan anyway.

I woke early Thursday morning with my early alarm, I switched it off and intended to sleep in for while as I didn’t have to be at work at 7.30am.  It was just after 4.15 in the morning, then I heard running water, like a tap dripping.  I couldn’t remember hearing that the evening before, so I got up to investigate.

A few weeks ago I finally left the settee in the front room and moved into the downstairs rear bedroom.  It was the first time in over seven years that I have slept in a bed in this house.  My room has a hall between it and the kitchen, I looked out of my door into the kitchen and there I saw it, the kitchen and hall floor were swimming in water!

The sound of the dripping was coming from the kitchen ceiling, water was falling onto the worktops and the tiled floors, it was dripping down the walls, it was everywhere.

I ran through the kitchen and straight upstairs to the bathroom above, wondering if I had left anything running, I couldn’t remember doing so, but that was where the water was coming from.

When I got to the bathroom, it was swimming in water too.  The tiled floor was deep in water and it seemed to be coming from the toilet.  I couldn’t make out where, until I saw the big crack down the rear corner of the cistern.  The water had been flooding out and obviously the float valve just kept letting it try to refill. There was water everywhere.  I grabbed all the towels I could find and put them down on the floor around the toilet and ran back downstairs to find the stopcock and switch off the water.

I put a few towels down on the kitchen floor to mop up what was there and waited for the water to stop dripping through the ceiling.  I rang my Dad just before 8am and explained what had happened, He used to fit kitchens and bathrooms, so he came around with Mum to take a look.  We tied the valve up in the closed position so it would stop trying to refill the toilet, that way I could switch the water back on.

I went to see if I could just replace the cistern, but the chances of getting one to fit where small, it seems I may need to replace the whole toilet, so for now that can wait until I get back to work next week and I can order a new one through work and get someone to fit it.

We cleaned and mopped up as much of the water as possible, but that was my morning gone, the plan for the day had flown out the window and I was shattered.  I opened up the kitchen and bathroom windows as wide as possible to air both rooms, hoping they would dry out quicker, then I went back to bed for a while, to catch up on the sleep I missed that morning.

I gave up on the idea of getting any work done or getting things done around the house, by the time I woke again, I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind.  Mid afternoon I was laying on my bed, just watching the TV, when I thought that I heard something in the kitchen, I got up and went to look.

That’s when I saw a small cat in the hall, I don’t have a cat, I’m not a big cat lover.

The back door was locked so it didn’t get in there, I shouted at it to get out and gave chase, but I don’t know where it went, it was faster than I was, I couldn’t see it downstairs, I heard a noise upstairs, so I ran up there, closing the door to the stairs behind me, it wasn’t up there either, by now I am starting wonder if I am seeing things.

I still can’t find that cat and I haven’t seen it in the street the last few days since, it’s a small cat from about ten doors down from me, I see it most days in the front gardens, but not since!  I am hoping that the noise I heard was the cat jumping back out the bathroom window onto the roof of my bedroom below, I think that is where it came in from and hopefully went back out of.

I can live without using that toilet for a while, I still have a toilet downstairs, so that’s not a problem, it’s just that I could do without the expense at the moment, I am taking the kids away next week, although my Mum and Dad have paid for the caravan, I still need spending money for us all.  I still need a few things in my bedroom too, I don’t have much furniture, what I do have friends and family have donated to me.

At one point on Thursday I was beginning to think why me, why just as I thing I am getting somewhere and moving on, something like this happens to set me back.

Early last year I heard God’s voice say to me that “the seven years of drought will soon be over and trust me that prosperity will come”, just as for the first time in seven years I feel I am really moving on from the past situations, little things like this come against me.

But I put this aside and refuse to be beaten down by it, it’s a setback, yes, but it’s not the end, I will get past it and will continue to trust in God’s promise that prosperity will come.  I have come too far to let a broken toilet and flooded rooms stop me, it’s all cleaned up now, I can get a replacement toilet cheaply through work and someone to fit, all will be fine.

After all the initial feeling of why me, it all seemed to fade away later that evening when my friends were around, I actually found it quite funny and obviously the toilet jokes were plenty.

So I refuse to see this as a setback, it’s just an obstacle, but I will get over it and move on.

But I still can’t find the cat!!!!!

GIVE ME AMAZING GRACE by JACKSON WATERS
I don’t wanna be
Stuck in this misery
I tried my best to make it on my own
But I’m in way too deep
So deep that I can’t sleep
I just wait for the sun to break the dawn

And I’ve given up on myself
I’m giving in to someone else
To wash away the madness
‘Cause you don’t care what’s happened
You don’t even think about the things that I’ve done wrong

So give me a new start
Creating me a new high
And pull me in to your sweet embrace
Gimme amazing grace

Now I wanna sing
And tell about the mystery
Of how someone can love a wretch like me
‘Cause You can make a blind man see
You can change their destiny
Of everyone that comes to you and believes

You’re got to give up on ourselves
And give in to someone else
To wash away the madness
‘Cause you don’t care what’s happened
You don’t even think about the things that I’ve done wrong

So give me a new start
Creating me a new high
And pull me in to your sweet embrace
Gimme amazing grace
Check Out

Giving up on ourselves
Giving in to someone else
To wash away the madness
‘Cause you don’t care what’s happened
You don’t even think about the things that I’ve done wrong

So give me a new start
Creating me a new high
And pull me in to your sweet embrace
Gimme amazing grace
Gimme amazing grace
Gimme amazing grace
Gimme amazing grace

Verse of the Day – Psalm 33:22

Psalm 33:22

Psalm 33:22

I pray whatever you are facing today, that God love is with you and that you can embrace it and hold onto the hope the comes wrapped within it.

BROTHER by NEEDTOBREATHE ft. GAVIN DeGRAW
Ramblers in the wilderness we can’t find what we need
We get a little restless from the searching
Get a little worn down in between
Like a bull chasing the matador is the man left to his own schemes
Everybody needs someone beside em’ shining like a lighthouse from the sea

Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

Face down in the desert now there’s a cage locked around my heart
I found a way to drop the keys where my failures were
Now my hands can’t reach that far
I ain’t made for a rivalry I could never take the world alone
I know that in my weakness I am strong, but
It’s your love that brings me home

Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

And when you call and need me near
Sayin’ where’d you go?
Brother, I’m right here
And on those days when the sky begins to fall
You’re the blood of my blood
We can get through it all

Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re feelin’ low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

 

Verse of the Day – 2 Thessalonians 1:3

2 Thessalonians 1:3

2 Thessalonians 1:3

I thank God for every person of faith who has stood beside me, encouraged me, prayed for me, prayed with me, laughed with me, cried with me and believed in me, without these people that the Father brought into my life, I would not have made it this far.

I thank you all and most I thank you God.

EVEN ME by I AM THEY
He knows my thoughts
The things that no one sees
He knows my heart
It’s every broken piece
Somehow still I’m held by this one thing
And somehow still I’m held by this one thing

Yes, Jesus loves me
Even me, even me
I stand forgiven and free
Even me, even me

He knows my past
The choices I have made
When I have wandered
When I pushed away
Somehow still I’m held by this one thing
Somehow still I’m held by this one thing

Yes, Jesus loves me
Even me, even me
I stand forgiven and free
Even me, even me
Even me, yes even me

Nothing could ever stop this love
Nothing could ever take it away
My life was lost, His life He gave
Even to the grave, even to the grave
Even to the grave

Yes, Jesus loves me
Even me, even me
I stand forgiven and free
Even me, he loves even me

Yes, Jesus loves me
Even me, even me
I stand forgiven and free
Even me, he loves even me
Even me, he loves even me
Even me, even me

 

My Friend, My Friend – James 5:14

My Friend, My Friend – James 5:14

My friend, my friend
I see your struggles
Child of mine
Don’t go through this alone
For I am ever here
Yet I have delivered you to my kingdom
So share with them
Pray with them
My saints they will anoint you
With sweet oil before my Father
To set you free from your worries
To put aside your pain
You are not alone, not ever
You are part of my family
So look up and rise again
Child of mine
For I am ever with you
My friend, my friend

James 5:14

James 5:14