Trust me, I've been there, I've looked, I've searched and I know now, that there are no answers to be found in the bottom of a bottle or on the edge of a blade! Fighting Hard, Recovering, Rebuilding, REBORN. Moving on from addiction to a new life.
Whatever you are going through today, maybe it looks impossible to get beyond, but remember this, hold to this, Christ himself said all things are possible with God, keep believing, keep trusting and keep going.
HANDS UP by HEDLEY ..Ahh Yeah.. Oh my God Something is wrong I’m floatin’ down a river where I don’t belong With out you
‘Cause if I fall With out you Now I see It’s all clear to me I could do a lot of things, but I could never be With out you
‘Cause if I fall With out you And you pick me up when I am down (Pick me up) And you make me smile
So hands up Take it all away If I got you then I’ll be ok I know, now everybody say If I got you I like it that way
Ohhh-ohh Oh my God Nothing is fine I’ll go a little crazy ‘Cause I’m losin’ my mind With out you ‘Cause if I fall With out you (If I fall)
Come what may All I gotta say I could have a lot of fun, but I don’t wanna play With out you ‘Cause if I fall With out you
You pick me up when I am down (Pick me up now) And you make me smile
So hands up Take it all away If I got you then I’ll be ok I know Now everybody say If I got you I like it that way If I got you I like it
With out you I don’t got a reason With out you I don’t got a soul (I don’t got a soul)
For all my days I live to praise You make me wanna Scream and shout it out It’s all I gotta say
Ahhh-nahhh
Hands up Take it all away If I got you then I’ll be ok
I know Now everybody say If I got you I like it that way
Hands up Take it all away If I got you then I’ll be ok
I know Now everybody say If I got you I like it that way If I got you then I’ll be ok If I got you I like it that way
It was my first day back at work in over 11 days, I must say it took some getting up this morning when the alarm went off, my body just didn’t want to get up and my mind seemed to be in agreement.
As I walked to work this morning, I was surprised how good I felt, there was only a dull ache in my heel, unfortunately that didn’t last as the day wore on.
I’ve had this pain in my left heel for almost seven months now, after a three hour training session last November, the pain went from dull ache and occasional sharp pain to all out sharp pain, the only way I can describe it is like continually walking on a piece of lego.
Those who have kids will probably know what that’s like, that moment when you tread on a piece of lego or any other small sharp toy, you will know that pain the bottom of the foot, it’s an occupational hazard when you have young kids.
After that training session it was like I had that piece of lego in my shoe, every footstep was a sharp pain. So I had two choices, see the Doctor to see what they recommend or just pay for physio, so I booked a physio session. I had seen this guy a number of years ago about a torn muscle I had in my back, he sorted it out back then, so I was confident he could get to the bottom of the problem this time around.
I booked in but had to wait a number of weeks to get an appointment, that was a couple of weeks before Christmas, what I found out was that is wasn’t my heel that was injured or the bottom of the foot, it wasn’t the ankle, but it turned out to be a torn calf muscle!
He said it had been done some time ago, but it had failed to heal properly, instead the muscle fibres had knotted, because of this the muscle was tightening and shortening which in turn was stretching the Achilles tendon, causing the pain in the heel.
I can only think that I tore this muscle walking in preparation for coming out of retirement for the National’s back in June. I’m a kind of all or nothing sort of guy, instead of slowly getting back into training and building up, I just jump in and go for it where I left of, the pain started during that training, so I have carried the injury since then.
I have a certain stretch to do everyday, designed to stretch out this muscle, but this hurts to do and aggravates the heel, but when I went back to physio last week, I was reprimanded for not doing enough.
So far I have had two lots of treatment and am already booked in for another, it doesn’t seem like a quick fix like I had before with the back muscle, this one is way more complicated.
If I’m up on my feet it’s not to bad, if I’m moving around it’s generally okay, just the dull ache that very rarely goes away, but I’ve managed to tune out to that. If I sit down for just a couple of minutes and then get back up, then the pain returns immediately, it pulls on the heel really hard, so I hobble about for a while.
This morning I thought everything was fine, at work I managed to stretch the calf whilst I was up and about, but that just aggravates the problem for a while as it’s stretching it out and the pain returned for most of the day.
The physio said until this is fully stretched out, so the stretching no longer hurts and the muscle doesn’t hurt when he works it, we cannot move on to strengthening the calf, so the stretches have to stay and I suppose for the time being the pain has to stay, but hopefully it gradually fades away as each day passes.
I really want to get out walking again in the mornings, but until this problem is sorted I can’t do that. My plan is compete again this year, so I want to get ready with months to go, not weeks this time, so the sooner I can move forward the better, but for the time being, I just keep going with the painful stretching and wait to see what the next physio session is like in two weeks.
So for now, I have to keep walking with that piece of lego in my shoe!!!
INVINCIBLE by HEDLEY Took a long hard look at my life Lost my way while I was fighting the time A big black cloud, stormy sky Followed me while I was living a lie So heartless, so selfish, so in darkness When all your nights are starless You’re running outta hope
But I found the strength inside to see Found the better part of me And I’ll never let it go
I’ve come a long, long way Made a lot of mistakes But I’m breathing, breathing That’s right And I mean it, mean it This time I’m a little run down I’ve been living out loud I can beat it, beat it That’s right ’cause I’m feeling, feeling Invincible Whoa-oh-oh-oh [x3]
When you’re gone for a day on your own Tear your heart out just to find your way home I’ve been so high, I’ve sunk so low I’ve come so far with nothing to show For it mistaken, I got so good at taking But now I’m tired of faking This story’s getting old
So I found the strength inside to see From the better part of me And I’ll never let it go
I’ve come a long, long way Made a lot of mistakes But I’m breathing, breathing That’s right And I mean it, mean it This time I’m a little run down I’ve been living out loud I can beat it, beat it That’s right ’cause I’m feeling, feeling Invincible Whoa-oh-oh-oh [x3] Invincible
I’m not the only one To crash into the sun and live to fight another day Like a super nova, that old life is over I’m here to stay
Now I’m gonna be Invincible Whoa-oh-oh-oh [x3] Invincible
I’ve come a long, long way Made a lot of mistakes But I’m breathing, breathing That’s right And I mean it, mean it This time I’m a little run down I’ve been living out loud I can beat it, beat it That’s right ’cause I’m feeling, feeling Invincible Whoa-oh-oh-oh [x3] Invincible. Whoa-oh-oh-oh [x3] Invincible
I knew it would be a long day today, I thought I would end up doing at least a couple of hours work this evening, but I didn’t expect to still be working at almost 10pm!
Yesterday afternoon I spent five hours on some drawings for the Architects, I knew there was still a little bit more to do, but didn’t think it would take too long to finish it this evening. But I guess I really under estimated it, after finishing my day job at 5pm, I went straight there and started again.
Where the time went I don’t really know, the hours just seemed to pass until I finally completed what I needed to do, I got the layouts set up and eventually left at just before 10pm, not bad to say I left the house at 7am this morning to start work at 7.30am, finally getting home after a 14½ hour working day!
This morning I completed my first month of antidepressants and this is the first real late night I have done since I’ve been on them. In the weeks before I would get very stressed, very quickly, begin to lose my temper and patience and generally be awful to be around, but this evening although I did feel the stress building, I kept it under control and remained focused, which is a good sign that this medication is working for me.
The only down side was that as I walked home, I began to feel jittery again, I haven’t really had that feeling for nearly two weeks now, I guess the tiredness and slight stress brought it on, but when I got home and had something to eat, that jittery feeling disappeared.
So it’s been a long day, but a very productive one, hopefully tomorrow isn’t quite as draining!
INVINCIBLE by HEDLEY Took a long hard look, at my life. Lost my way, well I was fighting the time. A big black cloud, stormy sky. Followed me, while I was living a lie. So heartless, so selfish, so in darkness, when all your nights are Starless, You’re running outta hope. But I found the strength inside to see, found the better part of me, And I’ll never let it go.
I’ve come a long, long way, Made a lot of mistakes, But I’m breathin, breathin, that’s right and I mean it, mean it. This time I’m a little run down, I’ve been living out loud. I could beat it, beat it, that’s right, ’cause I’m feelin, feelin, Invincible. Woah-oh-oh-oh (x3)
When you’re gone for a day, on your own. Tear your heart out just to find your way home. I’ve been so high, I’ve sunk so low. I’ve come so far, with nothing to show, for it. Mistaken, I got so good at taking, But now I’m tired of faking. This story’s getting old. So I found the strength inside to see, from the better part of me, And I’ll never let it go.
I’ve come a long, long way, Made a lot of mistakes, But I’m breathin, breathin, that’s right and I mean it, mean it. This time I’m a little run down, I’ve been living out loud. I could beat it, beat it, that’s right, ’cause I’m feelin, feelin, Invincible. Woah-oh-oh-oh (x3) Invincible.
I’m not the only one, To crash into the sun, and live to fight another day. Like a super nova, that old life is over. I’m here to stay. Now I’m gonna be, Invincible. Woah-oh-oh-oh (x3) Invincible.
I’ve come a long, long way, Made a lot of mistakes, But I’m breathin, breathin, that’s right and I mean it, mean it. This time I’m a little run down, I’ve been living out loud. I could beat it, beat it, that’s right ’cause I’m feelin, feelin, Invincible. Woah-oh-oh-oh (x3) Invincible. Woah-oh-oh-oh (x3) Invincible.
