Trust me, I've been there, I've looked, I've searched and I know now, that there are no answers to be found in the bottom of a bottle or on the edge of a blade! Fighting Hard, Recovering, Rebuilding, REBORN. Moving on from addiction to a new life.
For all my days I long to remain in Christ’s love, now that I have found it, I never want to let it go.
I WANT TO KNOW YOU by JESUS CULTURE I stand before You, awed by Your majesty Covered by Your mercy, Your blood has made me free Draw me to You and set my heart on fire I want to know You, You’re my one desire
I give You my worship All of my passion I give You my whole heart All my devotion
Grace never ending, Your hands they carry me Body that was broken, for all the world to see My heart is held by love so unconditional You captivate me, You’re the lover of my soul
I give You my worship All of my passion I give You my whole heart All my devotion
Here I will bow down And say that I need You Here I will worship And say that I love You
Oh how I love you Oh how I love you
I want to know You Let Your spirit overwhelm me Let Your presence overtake my heart
Now I have place my trust in my faith in the Lord, now I feel hopeful once more for my future, I ask if Him this, search me and lead me.
I WANT TO KNOW YOU by JESUS CULTURE I stand before You, awed by Your majesty Covered by Your mercy, Your blood has made me free Draw me to You and set my heart on fire I want to know You, You’re my one desire
I give You my worship All of my passion I give You my whole heart All my devotion
Grace never ending, Your hands they carry me Body that was broken, for all the world to see My heart is held by love so unconditional You captivate me, You’re the lover of my soul
I give You my worship All of my passion I give You my whole heart All my devotion
Here I will bow down And say that I need You Here I will worship And say that I love You
Oh how I love you Oh how I love you
I want to know You Let Your spirit overwhelm me Let Your presence overtake my heart
His thoughts are precious, what is more amazing is that I, the sinner, the lost, the none believer, the addict, was in His thoughts all along.
I WANT TO KNOW YOU by JESUS CULTURE I stand before You, awed by Your majesty Covered by Your mercy, Your blood has made me free Draw me to You and set my heart on fire I want to know You, You’re my one desire
I give You my worship All of my passion I give You my whole heart All my devotion
Grace never ending, Your hands they carry me Body that was broken, for all the world to see My heart is held by love so unconditional You captivate me, You’re the lover of my soul
I give You my worship All of my passion I give You my whole heart All my devotion
Here I will bow down And say that I need You Here I will worship And say that I love You
Oh how I love you Oh how I love you
I want to know You Let Your spirit overwhelm me Let Your presence overtake my heart
Whenever I am struggling, whenever I am tired, whenever I am low, I call upon the Lord and rest in the shadow of His wings.
I WANT TO KNOW YOU by JESUS CULTURE I stand before You, Awed by Your Majesty Covered by Your mercy, Your blood has made me free Draw me to You, and set my heart on fire
I want to Know You, Your my one desire
I give you my worship All of my Passion I give you my whole heart All my devotion
Grace never ending, Your hands they carry me Your body is broken for all the world to see My heart is held by love so unconditional
You captivate me Your the lover of my soul
I give you my worship All of my Passion I give you my whole heart All my devotion
Here I will bow down Say that I need You Here I will worship Say that I love you
Oh how I love you Oh how I love you Oh how I love you Oh how I love you
I want to know You Let Your Spirit overwhelm me Let Your Presence overtake my heart
Sometimes I wonder if I’m still fighting or just existing.
I WANT TO KNOW YOU by JESUS CULTURE I stand before You, Awed by Your Majesty Covered by Your mercy, Your blood has made me free Draw me to You, and set my heart on fire
I want to Know You, Your my one desire
I give you my worship All of my Passion I give you my whole heart All my devotion
Grace never ending, Your hands they carry me Your body is broken for all the world to see My heart is held by love so unconditional
You captivate me Your the lover of my soul
I give you my worship All of my Passion I give you my whole heart All my devotion
Here I will bow down Say that I need You Here I will worship Say that I love you
Oh how I love you Oh how I love you Oh how I love you Oh how I love you
I want to know You Let Your Spirit overwhelm me Let Your Presence overtake my heart
It seems like the first time in months that I’ve actually witnessed a sunrise as it happens, at this time of year it’s still dark when I go to work, luckily on a Saturday I start a little later, which gave me a change this morning to catch the sunrise at the lake and thankfully it didn’t disappoint.
Under Red Skies
From Red To Blue
Early Morning Swim
Contrasting Skies
Alone Within The Blue
Between The Red Clouds
Across The Blue Lake
In Flight
Behind The Autumn Trees
I WANT TO KNOW YOU by JESUS CULTURE I stand before You, Awed by Your Majesty Covered by Your mercy, Your blood has made me free Draw me to You, and set my heart on fire
I want to Know You, Your my one desire
I give you my worship All of my Passion I give you my whole heart All my devotion
Grace never ending, Your hands they carry me Your body is broken for all the world to see My heart is held by love so unconditional
You captivate me Your the lover of my soul
I give you my worship All of my Passion I give you my whole heart All my devotion
Here I will bow down Say that I need You Here I will worship Say that I love you
Oh how I love you Oh how I love you Oh how I love you Oh how I love you
I want to know You Let Your Spirit overwhelm me Let Your Presence overtake my heart
This week so far I’ve looked at in the negative, I feel I’ve struggled, which is true, I have. But I also feel I’ve come across as a bit of little whinging brat. It’s like I fell into the trap of my own self pity and maybe at times sought out the sympathy if others.
So sat here tonight, I’ve come to realise that actually I have got that all wrong, very wrong.
Because tonight in my journal I will write the following at the top of a new page;
Day 522 That how many days I’ve been writing this journal, the first date in my journal being 19th March 2012, the day I called and met with Gareth, the day I started the fight to get my life back.
SOBERDAY 511 The number of days that have gone by since I took that last drink on 31st March 2012. Remembering that I have made it through 511 days without the need for alcohol in my life.
73 WEEKS Thursdays are always a mini celebration for me, I always note the number of weeks sober, it was a Thursday night I took that last solitary drink and I always have my own quiet celebration, if you’re ever with me on a Thursday evening and I go quiet at around 10.30pm, I’m just remembering the beginning of a magnificent journey, celebrating a special moment in my life.
If I can write all if this down this evening, if I can go to bed with the vision if those numbers still fresh in my mind, I will go to bed in peace, knowing I’m still walking the most amazing journey. Whether I pray before I write my journal or after, I will give thanks to God for the amazing turnaround in my life and for the sacrifice of Jesus that paid for my sins.
Through the Grace of God I will still be taking giant steps within the sobriety journey and will be overcoming all that is before me, all these internal struggles I’m facing will be beaten for another day, I am still walking with God and the strength He provides keeps me moving forward.
Oh and the rabbit is fine, not sure if it ever sleeps or sits still, but she’s still looking happy and I’m bite free for another day, bonus!
I do prefer if possible to use a different song for each post, I either try to use a song that lyrically fits with the post or a song that has been significant to me during the day. I know I’ve used this song not that long back, but this evening as I write I’ve been listening to this on repeat, so I thought I would share it again.
I WANT TO KNOW YOU by JESUS CULTURE I stand before You, Awed by Your Majesty Covered by Your mercy, Your blood has made me free Draw me to You, and set my heart on fireI want to Know You, Your my one desireI give you my worship All of my Passion I give you my whole heart All my devotion
Grace never ending, Your hands they carry me Your body is broken for all the world to see My heart is held by love so unconditional
You captivate me Your the lover of my soul
I give you my worship All of my Passion I give you my whole heart All my devotion
Here I will bow down Say that I need You Here I will worship Say that I love you
Oh how I love you Oh how I love you Oh how I love you
Oh how I love you
I want to know You Let Your Spirit overwhelm me Let Your Presence overtake my heart
Another bright morning this morning, with the dark and light clouds creating a great contrast with the sun and the blue skies.
It was a little different this evening, my street is quite badly lit in places, as I walked home I feel sure that I actually managed to launch a poor hedgehog down the pavement. I couldn’t see in the dark, but I definitely kicked something fairly small and quite soft, when I looked around in the shadows all I could see was a small ball like object in the dark, what may have been a small hedgehog, I do hope is wasn’t and if it was I didn’t hurt it too badly, as it did get quite a kick, I was walking pretty quickly as usual.
Scattered Morning
Breaking Out
Shining Through
In Gray Reflection
Contrast
I WANT TO KNOW YOU by JESUS CULTURE I stand before You, Awed by Your Majesty Covered by Your mercy, Your blood has made me free Draw me to You, and set my heart on fire
I want to Know You, Your my one desire
I give you my worship All of my Passion I give you my whole heart All my devotion
Grace never ending, Your hands they carry me Your body is broken for all the world to see My heart is held by love so unconditional
You captivate me Your the lover of my soul
I give you my worship All of my Passion I give you my whole heart All my devotion
Here I will bow down Say that I need You Here I will worship Say that I love you
Oh how I love you (4x)
I want to know You Let Your Spirit overwhelm me Let Your Presence overtake my heart
