Tag Archives: Jeremy Camp

Verse of the Day – Proverbs 4:19

Proverbs 4:19

Proverbs 4:19

We are human, we have all walked in both darkness and light, but it’s that darkness where we stumble the most, so rarely do we stumble in the light, only when we take our eyes of where we are going!

HE KNOWS by JEREMY CAMP
All the bitter weary ways
Endless striving day by day
You barely have the strength to pray
In the valley low

And how hard your fight has been
How deep the pain within
Wounds that no one else has seen
Hurts too much to show

All the doubt you’re standing in between
And all the weight that brings you to your knees

He knows
He knows
Every hurt and every sting
He has walked the suffering
He knows
He knows
Let your burdens come undone
Lift your eyes up to the one
Who knows
He knows
He knows

We may faint and we may sink
Feel the pain and near the brink
But the dark begins to shrink
When you find the one who knows

The chains of doubt that held you in between
one by one are starting to break free

He knows
He knows
Every hurt and every sting
He has walked the suffering
He knows
He knows
Let your burdens come undone
Lift your eyes up to the one
Who knows
He knows
He knows

Every time you feel forsaken
Every time that you feel alone
He is near to the brokenhearted
Every tear
He knows
He knows

He knows
He knows
Every hurt and every sting
He has walked the suffering
He knows
He knows
Let your burdens come undone
Lift your eyes up to the one
Who knows
He knows
He knows
 

Verse of the Day – Psalm 86:9-10

Psalm 86:9-10

Psalm 86:9-10

There will come a day when the world truly wakes up and sees the great deeds of our God, maybe it will be in my time here on earth, the world we live in now could do with that revelation.

THERE WILL BE A DAY by JEREMY CAMP
I try to hold on to this world
With everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings,
And the hurt that tries to grab

The many trials that seem to never end,
His word declares this truth,
That we will enter in this rest
With wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day,
We’ll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel you’re walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

I can’t wait until that day
Where the very one I’ve lived for always
Will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced

To touch the scars that rescued me
From a life of shame and misery
Oh, this is why, this is why I sing…

There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day
He will wipe away the tears
He will wipe away the tears
He will wipe away the tears
There will be a day
 

Verse of the Day – 1 John 2:2

1 John 2:2

1 John 2:2

Christ sacrificed His life for everyone, for those who have passed, those who live and those to come, still many never know or understand what this mean for them, hopefully each will find this truth.

THERE WILL BE A DAY by JEREMY CAMP
I try to hold on to this world
With everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings,
And the hurt that tries to grab

The many trials that seem to never end,
His word declares this truth,
That we will enter in this rest
With wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day,
We’ll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel you’re walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day,
We’ll hold on to you always

I can’t wait until that day
Where the very one I’ve lived for always
Will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced

To touch the scars that rescued me
From a life of shame and misery
Oh, this is why, this is why I sing…

There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day
He will wipe away the tears
He will wipe away the tears
He will wipe away the tears
There will be a day
 

Verse of the Day – Psalm 41:2-3

Psalm 41:2-3

Psalm 41:2-3

I can certainly testify that these words have been true to me over the last ten days, He watched over me during my accident and has helped the wounds heal.

Today I walked to Church on my crutches, took me longer that usual, but quicker than I was earlier in the week!  I managed to stand to worship and then walk back home.  Then an afternoon of rest before I go back to work tomorrow.

MY DEFENDER by JEREMY CAMP
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow
And I stand face to face with the enemy
I will know that I am not forsaken
You surround me when the fire’s at my feet

You’re my defender
You fight for me
I will remember
You’re all I need
You are my healer
My remedy
Against the power of the unknown
And I will not stand alone
‘Cause You’re my defender

I can see You when the night is closing in
And I will trust You when it seems that there’s no hope
And I hold tight to the promise You have given
‘Cause this I know and I am confident

You’re my defender
You fight for me
I will remember
You’re all I need
You are my healer
My remedy
Against the power of the unknown
And I will not stand alone
‘Cause You’re my defender
You’re my defender

I’m saved by the blood
I’m saved by the blood of Jesus
I’m saved by the blood
I’m saved by the blood of Jesus
I’m saved by the blood
And I’m saved by the blood of Jesus
I’m saved by the blood
And I’m saved…

‘Cause You’re my defender
You fight for me
I will remember
You’re all I need
And You are my healer
My remedy
Against the power of the unknown
And I will not stand alone
‘Cause You’re my defender

I know that You are for me
I know You will not fail
The weapons formed against me
Cannot prevail because…

I’m saved by the blood
I’m saved by the blood of Jesus
I’m saved by the blood
I’m saved by the blood of Jesus
‘Cause You’re my defender
 

Verse of the Day – Habakkuk 2:14

Habakkuk 2:14

Habakkuk 2:14

There will be a day when the whole Earth sees His glory, when they find the word and the truth.

THERE WILL BE A DAY by JEREMY CAMP
I try to hold on to this world
With everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings,
And the hurt that tries to grab

The many trials that seem to never end,
His word declares this truth,
That we will enter in this rest
With wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day,
We’ll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel you’re walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day,
We’ll hold on to you always

I can’t wait until that day
Where the very one I’ve lived for always
Will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced

To touch the scars that rescued me
From a life of shame and misery
Oh, this is why, this is why I sing…

There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day
He will wipe away the tears
He will wipe away the tears
He will wipe away the tears
There will be a day

Verse of the Day – 1 Peter 3:13-14

1 Peter 3:13-14

1 Peter 3:13-14

Sometimes we shy away from doing what is right, out of fear for what people will say, but He promises that we will be blessed, He says not to fear them, so is it time to keep on doing what is good, not turning away in fear.

THE WAY by JEREMY CAMP
All creation cried out with longing
With groans only You could comprehend
And with wisdom, You always answer
And give the words of life so unfailing

And Your glory shines all around us
Your faithfulness shown for all to see
When we think of all of Your wonders
The beauty of Your plan that’s been revealed
We walk in Your light, we walk in it

Shine, bright
Let Your glory fill this land
Lift high, the King of Kings and great I am
Jesus, You are the way

We can see the works of Your loving hands
With a hope and peace not made by man
When You poured out Your grace and Your mercy
And You held out Your arms so we could see
You bled for all mankind and set the captives free

Shine, bright
Let Your glory fill this land
Lift high, the King of Kings and great I am
Jesus, You are the way

Na na na na na na, Jesus

Verse of the Day – Psalm 42:11

Psalm 42:11

Psalm 42:11

It seems to come so easy to be downcast at the moment, my only hope rests in the fact that I’ve been to darker places and each time I have been led out by the hand of my God.

HE KNOWS by JEREMY CAMP
All the bitter weary ways
Endless striving day by day
You barely have the strength to pray
In the valley low

And how hard your fight has been
How deep the pain within
Wounds that no one else has seen
Hurts too much to show

All the doubt you’re standing in between
And all the weight that brings you to your knees

He knows
He knows
Every hurt and every sting
He has walked the suffering
He knows
He knows
Let your burdens come undone
Lift your eyes up to the one
Who knows
He knows
He knows

We may faint and we may sink
Feel the pain and near the brink
But the dark begins to shrink
When you find the one who knows

The chains of doubt that held you in between
one by one are starting to break free

He knows
He knows
Every hurt and every sting
He has walked the suffering
He knows
He knows
Let your burdens come undone
Lift your eyes up to the one
Who knows
He knows
He knows

Every time you feel forsaken
Every time that you feel alone
He is near to the brokenhearted
Every tear

He knows
He knows
He knows
He knows
Every hurt and every sting
He has walked the suffering
He knows
He knows
Let your burdens come undone
Lift your eyes up to the one
Who knows
He knows
He knows

Blackened Minds And All That

It seems some time since I have posted about how things are going around here, somehow I seem to find myself too busy or simply motivated to do other things.  I do veil some of my feelings into my daily poetry, particularly in Sunday’s Blackened Mind, which I will attempt to explain later in this post.

Things have settled down a little at work, myself and my colleague were issued with a written warning for not following correct procedure, both of us were caught out by a fraudster, which cost the company thousands of pounds, it’s a lesson learnt, a slap on the wrist and we carry on, but I won’t make that mistake again.

During all of the investigation for that, there was a chance that we both could lose our jobs, my colleague was especially worried as even though he doesn’t have the debt that I have, he couldn’t afford to lose his job.  Myself, I’m still paying back all the debt I amassed in my dark years.

If I’m honest, even before I “had a problem” with the drink, we were still living to our income, we weren’t saving and like many around us living on credit, but back then I was paying it back as I should.  When I lost my work and my way, any money that came in I pretty much spent on drink, I stopped paying all bills, I looked at what I had for alcohol before considering bills and debts, that was where my addiction took me and I seemingly had no control.

So for almost two years, my payments were bouncing all over the place, I was amassing so many bank charges, my overdraft which was only £450, but eventually ran to a total of over £1100, after the bank added charge after charge to my account, eventually they closed it when the Citizen Advice Bureau took over our case and rearranged my debts.

The biggest of my debts was the £8000 I owed to the Inland Revenue in taxes, this January I finally paid that off, which means a big amount that was going straight out of my account after my wages went in is no longer going out, although the Inland Revenue at first failed to cancel the payment after I contacted them, took out another payment and now owe me money, which I have applied for back, but am still waiting for, the wheels of bureaucracy run slow, they like to take your money pretty quickly, but not give it back without a fight!

But with this being the largest of my monthly repayments by some way, it took a bit of pressure off me financially, so when I realised I could lose my job, I actually wasn’t that worried by it all.  I prayed on it over and over again, each time I got a strong word from God that He has bigger things planned for me, whatever happens don’t be afraid, He wouldn’t let me fall again.

So even though my job is safe, providing I don’t screw up in the next six months at least, I am still not worried about the future, I keep praying for God to reveal His plan for me, but for now, I just keep working away, doing everything that’s asked of me.  Yes I work from 7.30 to 5pm each day, plus Saturday mornings, I teach karate too and then do work for the Architect’s.  I need the money from my work and the karate to cover our outgoings here, the work for the Architect’s is a nice bonus, it has to being seeing as they aren’t that good at paying anyway.  I can go months without getting any money from them, I still have to jump to deadlines, but I’ve managed to keep things in the time schedule I want to do them, I won’t just drop everything anymore, I would get a text at work expecting me to do what they say is just a few minor changes that evening, I would respond by telling them when I could do it and that would be that, no matter how many begging texts I got in response.  I’m sorry but if I was paid on time, I would be more inclined to put myself out, but as they don’t put themselves out to pay me, I will do things in my time and after all there minor changes were never an hour or so of work, it would end up being a few nights work or a full weekend!

Back to “Blackened Mind”, I was having a pretty good weekend, on Saturday I finally received a payment from the Architect’s, some of the invoices were from last autumn.  So I took the kids out on Saturday to do a bit of shopping in Lincoln, we had a good day out.  Then Sunday morning I felt quite positive when I left the house for Church, when I got there I felt pretty good.

During the morning I had a conversation with a friend who asked about the situation at home, between Victoria and myself.  I explained things hadn’t changed, we still live together in separate rooms, it still the same, I would start all over again tomorrow, but it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen.  I told him how I still pray regulary for the situation and when I do I always feel like God says to me “don’t you worry about that, I have all that in hand, you just keep walking with me”, I told him how I feel all the pain and the weight of the situation lifted from me.

At the very moment I told him that, I had this overwhelming sense of warmth spread through my back, a feeling so comfortable that you just know that you’ve just had the arms of God thrown around you.  It was like God was saying to me “that’s my boy, you just keep doing that”.

All in all it was a fairly positive morning and a good preach from Sam, very encouraging, until towards the end when he began to speak about something that set me off.  He began to speak about his anniversary that weekend and how they had enjoyed it and spent it.  It set me off because that day, Sunday 10th May, was the anniversary of the first date that myself and Victoria had eighteen years before.

I don’t forget dates like that, I will forever remember, but I can’t do anything about it, for the first time in years, I had the means to celebrate it, for the first time in years I had some spare money with which to do something with, but my relationship is bankrupt and there is nothing I can do about it.

From my positive mood I slipped into the darker region of my mind and all that self hatred.  All I wanted to do was get out of the place go home.  I hate that I lie to people around me at times like that, everyone that asks how I am, I lie to, I say I’m okay and then move on, avoiding further conversation.  I packed up the camera’s and left straight away, I barely spoke to anyone on the way out, I wanted to avoid any kind of conversation, I just wanted out.

On the way home, I was in a real mess.  My mind was back in the dark days when I fell into depression.  I began to think about the times I wanted to end my life and began wishing I had actually done it, if I had I wouldn’t have to keep going through this pain over and over again.  Then I began to think that maybe this time I shouldn’t bother cutting my wrist, just cut my throat, I couldn’t get that wrong, even better, when I get home I should take the sharpest knife I could find and thrust it through my heart, just put it out of it’s misery.

When I got home I wrote out “Blackened Mind”, posted it, prayed and then just simply laid down on the settee and went to sleep.  By the time I woke a few hours later, all the darkness had gone and I was back to the more positive feeling I had earlier that morning.

It’s been so much better this week since then, on Monday evening I set up the verses for this weeks poems.  I randomly chose seven verse at the beginning of each week, the first three that came out, all spoke of perseverance through the trials, all different verses, but the same message, keep going, keep walking through the storms, things will be better on the other side, I knew that was once again the message I was being given, I felt so encouraged.

I must say that those few hours on Sunday were the darkest I have had in a long time, I have low moments, but not dark thoughts like that, indeed I don’t think I ever felt about things as darkly as that, but thankfully it went just as quickly as it came about.

Hopefully this was just a one off, triggered by a memory, I’m sure there will be others, many others, but God keeps telling me His has a plan, for the time being I just have to keep walking with Him.

I came across this song by Jeremy Camp earlier today, the lyrics made me stop and think once again, another message to keep persevering, there is a bigger plan for me.

PERFECT LOVE by JEREMY CAMP
If perfect love casts out fear
Then here I am Lord drawing near

Days have come, days have gone
I know one thing’s sure
Hanging on by the words of Your promise, Lord
You are good, you are true
Even in my pain

And I’m thankful for this suffering
‘Cause it’s brought me right here on my knees

If perfect love casts out fear
Then here I am Lord drawing near
I’m crying out and You hear my prayer
I feel the depth of how much You care
In Your perfect love
You are perfect love

I’m wide awake, wide awake
Now my eyes can see
All the hope, all the plans that you have for me
I count in joy ever time I am in this place

And I’m thankful for this suffering
It’s deepened every part of me

If perfect love casts out fear
Then here I am Lord drawing near
I’m crying out and You hear my prayer
I feel the depth of how much You care
In Your perfect love
You are perfect love

I cast my cares, cast my cares
On Your altar Lord (always, always)
‘Cause You are good, You are good
And Your love endures (always, always)
I will rest, I will rest
In Your perfect love (always, always)
There’s no more fear, no more fear
In Your presence Lord

If perfect love casts out fear
Then here I am Lord drawing near
I’m crying out and You hear my prayer
I feel the depth of how much You care
In Your perfect love
You are perfect love

Verse of the Day – Hebrews 8:12

Hebrews 8:12

Hebrews 8:12

When it was mentioned in our meeting last night, that God has forgotten all our past sins, I felt a great weight lifted from my chest, like that shadows that laid heavy on my heart had been taken away.

WE MUST REMEMBER by JEREMY CAMP
We must remember
That You have forgotten
And You don’t remember our sins anymore
We must remember
That You have forgotten
And You, You died once and for all

You are the God that bore our shame
You are the taker of our pain
And we know that You are, yes You are
The one true life we need

You are the pure and spotless Lamb
You are the only Great I Am
And we know that You are, yes You are
The God of the redeemed

And we must remember
That You have forgotten
And You don’t remember our sins anymore
And we must remember
That You have forgotten
And You, You died once and for all
Once and for all

The power of Your blood is all that we need
You laid down Your life and the captives were free
The veil was torn and there was victory

We must remember, we must remember
That You’ve forgotten, yes You’ve forgotten
We must remember, there is victory
There is victory
There is victory
There is victory

We must remember
That You have forgotten
And You don’t remember our sins anymore
And we must remember
That You have forgotten
And You, You died once and for all

Verse of the Day – 2 Corinthians 5:7

2 Corinthians 5:7

2 Corinthians 5:7

For me this can be so hard, when all I see before me sometimes is everything that is going wrong, rather than remembering who it was that set me free when everything was far darker than what is before me.

WALK BY FAITH by JEREMY CAMP
Would I believe you when you would say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears
You’ve been so faithful for all my years
With one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do

yeah, yeah , yeah, yeah, yeah, ya

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Well I’m broken- but I still see Your face
Well You’ve spoken- pouring Your words of grace

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Well hallelujah, hallelu
(I will walk by faith)
Well hallelujah, hallelu
(I will walk by faith)

I will walk, I will walk, I will walk by faith
I will, I will, I will walk by faith