Tag Archives: Lost

To The Lost And Alone – Romans 8:26

To The Lost And Alone – Romans 8:26
Part (4 of 4)

Am I the only one?
To feel this lost and alone
To feel like there’s no one
To whom I can turn
Surely not in the world of hurt
So many more will feel this pain
If you do
If you are
So lost and alone
And you’ve found your way to these words
That I write unto myself
Well you should know
We have a spirit within
To help us through
And a God that surrounds
Who loves us so
No matter where you are
Or in the depths you feel
There’s a Father
Waiting on a voice
To simply say
“Save me Lord”
And this I know
And I say to you
You will be saved

Romans 8:26

Romans 8:26

Thoughts Of The Lost And Alone – Proverbs 2:8

Thoughts Of The Lost And Alone – Proverbs 2:8
(Part 3 of 4)

Even though the way was dark
And here I felt so lost and alone
I hear the words He says to me
I feel His arm surrounding me
To guard a heart that suffers so
From the disease of lost and alone
I’ve shown my faith in darker days
I’ve held to Him through stronger waves
And He’s the One that always protect my way
It’s up to me to open these eyes and see
That even when I feel so lost and alone
He’s the One that is ever at my side

Proverbs 2:8

Proverbs 2:8

Beyond The Lost And Alone – Psalm 16:7-8

Beyond The Lost And Alone – Psalm 16:7-8
(Part 2 of 4)

And all was lost
Still I found the words
To call His name
In my Christ
I was saved
So praise is here
Upon these lips
To the One who hears
Who sees me through
To counsel a heart
So lost and alone
Who takes my hand
Who leads me home

Psalm 16:7-8

Psalm 16:7-8

Lost And Alone – Jeremiah 17:14

Lost And Alone – Jeremiah 17:14
(Part 1 of 4)

Here I am
Of forty five
I am the lost
Left alone
No dreams
No hopes
Left to hold
Destined for nowhere
Left to be forgotten
By a world
That won’t remember
Just who I was
All that’s left
Is to sleep
To just gather dust
Covered by the sands
Belonging to time
Still between the beats
Of a lost
And lonely heart
I hear the refrain
“Heal me Lord”
I hear the echoing words
“Save me Lord”
When all seemed lost
It’s only these words I find
I’ve said my praise
Sung my worship
Still lost my way
Now all that’s left
Is these words I hear
Heal me Lord
And I will be healed
Save me Lord
And I will be saved

Jeremiah 17:14

Jeremiah 17:14

 

All Gone – Psalm 12:1

All Gone – Psalm 12:1

So many around me
See me as worthless
Still see the one that was lost
And those who see me as something
This darkness I’m holding
Is pushing them all away
It’s just me here
Empty and alone
Oh Lord hear me
Let me know You’re here
And soon will come a time
Where I no longer feel so lost

Psalm 12:1

Psalm 12:1

The Lost And The Broken

The Lost And The Broken (Titus 3:5)

You take the lost
So they are the found
You make the broken
Stronger than before

No matter our failures
They are forgotten
No matter our sins
For we are the saved

By Your great mercy
We the broken are renewed
By Your Holy Spirit
We the lost are reborn

Titus 3:5

Titus 3:5

In Times Of Testing

When I think back to where I found myself this time last year and what I feel I’ve gone through during those last twelve months, I know I’ve come a long way.

Having reviewed a lot of my poems that were written in those twelve months, it was quite evident from the words contained within them how I was feeling and where I felt I was.  It seemed I wrote about feeling I was in many different places, each with it’s own feelings of isolation, pain, hopelessness and desperation.

I had a strong feeling this morning that I was being reminded that in all these situations, there was one common denominator that saw me through each of them.  In each situation I prayed for it all to be taken away, yet that never really happened, I had to walk through them all.

There were times when I felt like I was at the foot of the mountain, yet I had no strength left in me to climb, I had nothing left and I cried out for help, take this away, throw it to the ocean.

Other times I felt I was in the fire, every which way I turned I felt the heat burning, there was a feeling of being stuck with nowhere to turn, once more I asked for all this to be taken away.

There were feelings of sinking in the ocean or just drifting, alone, isolated and struggling to breathe as I sank lower and lower, I needed pulling out, just lifting out and putting down somewhere safe.

Then the feeling as though I was just wandering through the desert, dry, dusty, lifeless, nothing, just me alone and all life seemed so far away, but I just couldn’t reach it.

I don’t know where each one of you that read this are or if you feel this way, but this morning I felt a deep sense that God was telling me He heard all my prayers for all of these things to be taken away, but He didn’t, yet what He did do is walked by my side through everyone of them.  I had this feeling that if you do feel this way, know you’re not alone, I wasn’t.

If you are facing that mountain, know that He is making a safe path for you, going before you and reaching out His hand to help you climb to the top and see the green valley beyond.

If you’re stuck in that inferno, know that He is there dancing in the flames beside you, you may feel the heat, but you won’t burn, He won’t let you so just dance with Him.

Maybe you’re feeling like you’re drowning and cannot rise above the waves, just look up, His hand is there to pull you above the waves, He wants you to walk on the water with Him until you reach the safety of the shore.

Or you feel alone in the desert, thirsty and empty, know once again that He is there beside you, drink the water He has for you and let Him raise you from the dust, until beyond the desolation you reach the green fields.

I guess that sometimes we just have to go through all these things, we may not know why, I certainly didn’t, but His ways are not our ways, by His will, not mine.

But be assured, whatever we face, we never face it alone.

BY YOUR SIDE by TENTH AVENUE NORTH
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching
As if I’m not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

‘Cause I’ll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands at my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

And I’ll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

‘Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, yeah I’ll love you
I’ll never let you go, no, no

And I’ll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Here at my side, my hands are holding you
Ohhh… 

To The Gate

TO THE GATE

Here I find myself
Wide desolate plains
Of my once within
The scars of my destruction
Lay wide across the earth

You call me to the narrow gate
Yet still I find my heart
Will wander in dead & dusty plains
I long to find the green pastures
So a captured heart can escape

Lead me to the narrow gate
For I’m lost and all alone
Lead me to the narrow gate
Where I will finally find
The open arms of heaven for me to fall

NOTE:
This one has been floating around in my head over the last few weeks, I did write down the last three lines last weekend, I’ve looked at it many times over the week, but I only found the words to complete it this morning, whilst listening to Worship practice.

Verse of the Day – Ezekiel 34:12

Ezekiel 34:12

Ezekiel 34:12

I have wandered under those clouds and into the darkness, but I’m thankful He came looking for me.

GUIDE YOU HOME by REMEDY DRIVE
Has your love run dry
A flower under the desert sky
withered before your eyes
Have your flood walls failed
Built so high still the storm prevailed
And the water rises to your soul

If you’re a ship and you’re lost in the ocean
I’ll be the wind in your sails give you motion
I will guide you home
If you’re too far out that you can’t see the shoreline
I’ll be the light house shining in the night time
I will guide you home

Is your compass wrong
Misplaced trust for far too long
Off track and you can’t get back
Did you loose your calm
You’re not sure where but you know it’s gone
It’s a sad sad song playing in your soul

If you’re a ship and you’re lost in the ocean
I’ll be the wind in your sails give you motion
I will guide you home
If you’re too far out that you can’t see the shoreline
I’ll be the light house shining in the night time
I will guide you home

When the night is long
When the storm is strong
I will guide you
I will guide you home
I will guide you home

If you’re a ship and you’re lost in the ocean
I’ll be the wind in your sails give you motion
I will guide you home
If you’re too far out that you can’t see the shoreline
I’ll be the light house shining in the night time
I will guide you home

When the night is long
When the storm is strong
I will guide you
I will guide you home
I will guide you home

Reading My Pain

I was flicking through the first book of my journal, which started on Monday 19th March 2012 (the day I class as the start of my new life, Day 1) and ending on Wednesday 15th August 2012, Day 150, a total 198 pages of my journey, I’m nearing the end of my second book now, today’s entry will be day 251 of this grand journey.

I was looking for something I may have written in there, something I wanted to form a post around but I couldn’t find it, but as I scanned through the pages I happened across a page, a page that wasn’t like any other page, it was probably the most painful page I had scribbled, I glanced past it a few times, noticing there was something different about it, then eventually I returned to it, intrigued, I re read in it’s entirety, I was close to tears and felt compelled to post this.

Journal Entry - 20th April 2012

Journal Entry – 20th April 2012

As you can see I always write in capital letters, I don’t know why, it’s a habit I’ve picked up, I’m good at picking up habits. Even in capital letters my tortured scribble is not entirely legible, it doesn’t always make sense, so here it is, translated:

Friday 20th April 2012 – Day 33

Once again I feel worn out by all of this and confused by what is happening to me, is this aching because I’m coming down with something or is it withdrawal, I don’t know, but definitely questions to ask Doctor Cusack on Tuesday. I ache all over, I found it difficult to cope with even the order for the take away going wrong tonight, that was a real low point for the week and again, I’m not happy with myself for that, but I’m doing my best to handle all of this, but it’s a lonely road to travel at the moment, I need help I don’t think I can do this alone anymore. Maybe I am run down but it’s hard, the aches, the pain, the tiredness, how long will all this last before I can move on, this week has been the worst since I started this book, a real struggle to get through, the ribs haven’t helped, working late, the weather, it’s made a pretty rubbish week really, hopefully it can’t get any worse, I’m not sure if I could cope with this anymore, I wrote before it’s the first test of my faith and I have failed miserably, but I don’t want to, last week seemed easy this week seems so hard, it’s all very confusing, in an already very confused life, again I’m not sure if I can cope with much more of this.

Grantham tomorrow, no training, that’s not wise at the moment, but I want to get back into training as soon as I can, I need it, I need some focus.

I will be at Church on Sunday, I’m going to continue what I’ve started and I will be praying for help, because I feel lost at the moment, well lost, I don’t know which way to turn to get through, but I will ask for guidance, hopefully I will get some answers!

No other page in my journals read like this, I usually describe in brief at least part of my day, if not all of it, together with my feelings as I go through it, this one was different, so different, there is no mention of what I was doing that day, only feelings, my lowest feelings.

The only part of the day I mention was ordering the take away, we nearly always order on Friday, from the same place, the same thing. But on this day someone different answered the phone, I did my best to tell him what I wanted, but with his limited English it wasn’t easy, I was getting frustrated, I was trying to be clear but I felt like no one was listening, I came off the phone knowing this would all go wrong, I wanted to hide. But luckily one of the regulars at the take away noticed the order, the address, noticed it wasn’t usually what we had and rang us back to clarify, my partner took the call and sorted it all out, calmly, I felt even lower, that I couldn’t even get a take away order right. A take away, it’s trivial I know, it wasn’t the end of the world, the confusion was sorted, but it just added to my personal confusion and my feelings of being alone and lost.

In my post Can’t Take The Pain I describe being sat in Church in pain then reaching out to a friend alone the following night, these events took place on the Sunday and Monday following this painful Friday. Indeed, things did get better after this weekend, granted they got a little worse, but when I learnt to reach out on the Monday following this lowest of days, that I wasn’t alone, I didn’t have to do this alone either, things got better and I began to grow.

I don’t remember actually writing this page, for such a painful and vivid entry it’s surprising I don’t have a recollection of writing it, I remember all the feelings, I remember the take away, I remember the aches, I remember the pains, I remember the tiredness and I remember the confusion, but not actually putting it in writing in this way, I was actually quite shocked when I started to read it again earlier this evening.

I am so glad that most of my days are full of positives now, even the bad moments which occur on some days, not all days I must add, I now use the negatives to find a positive from, something I can learn from and something I can use to continue the growing and rebuilding process.

“How can I come to the end of me,
But somehow still have all I need?
God I want to know you more,
Maybe this is how it starts,
I find you when I fall apart”
(Fall Apart by Josh Wilson)

I hope I never feel this way ever again, I hope my life never takes a turn that brings me back to that day and I pray that nobody else has to go through these feelings of being alone, there are always people who can help, friends to contact for support, never suffer alone, ask for help.

But most importantly ask for help from God, he is waiting for your request,
you only have to ask.