You Came (Psalm 3:5)
When I called to You
As I lied there
Under deepest shadows
With an empty heart
You answered
You came
When I couldn’t find sleep
As the nights dragged on
And morning came too soon
I called out for peace
You answered
You came
Now I lie down
Now I sleep in perfect peace
And when the new sun rises
I wake anew because
You answered
You came
(Part 1 of 7)
Psalm 3:5
For the first time in days I managed to get a full night’s sleep last night, it was the first night since before Christmas Eve that I don’t actually remember waking up at any point in a coughing fit, yet I still feel absolutely shattered.
By the time I had walked to Church and set up the camera’s I really was starting to flag and it wasn’t even 10am. Most days that I’ve been off work over the Christmas/New Year period I caught up on lost sleep at night by napping in the day, when I was at work I napped when I got home, but today even though I was shattered this morning I didn’t sleep this afternoon. Hopefully that means I will get a good night’s sleep again tonight, before I’m back at work tomorrow morning.
Although my eyes are no longer bloodshot, they are still weeping slightly at night and do still feel very dry, despite the fact that I have drank plenty of fluids. The haze at Church really didn’t help my eyes this morning, after completing my camera work, my eyes really were smarting, the first thing I did when I got home was put eyes drops in both eyes.
The coughing is certainly not so intense has been, when I have coughing fit they are still pretty intense, but they are getting less and less frequent as each day passes, so hopefully over the next week it will have gradually faded away.
My plan to get back into my walking on New Year’s day has completely gone out of the window, I had hoped to be back out walking each morning, but given the circumstances that hasn’t really been an option. My plan now is to hopefully be shut of this virus by the end of this week and start the daily walking again next weekend, fingers crossed it all goes to plan.
It has been pretty much a Christmas to forget, but that is now gone and pretty much forgotten, so it’s onwards into the New Year and those new year plans, I didn’t make any specific New Year’s Resolutions, other than to start walking, get fit again and lose a few pounds, all with the view to competing again in the summer, yes it’s true I plan to come out of retirement at this Year’s National Championships and attempt to win my title back, I felt I needed a few goals and targets and that was one of them.
GOLDEN BELL by BRADY TOOPS
There’s a land beyond the river that we call the sweet forever
And we only reach that shore by faith’s decree
One by one we all will get there passing thru the door of despair
When they ring that golden bell for you and me
Don’t you hear the bells now ringing, don’t you hear the angels singing out their tune
Tis’ the glory hallelujah, the light of heaven shining thru ya so very soon
Just beyond that shining river when they ring that golden bell for me and you
We shall know no sin nor sorrow in the harbor of tomorrow
When our ships all sail beyond the earth beneath
We shall only know the blessings, no more doubt and no more guessing
When they ring that golden bell for you and me
Don’t you hear the bells now ringing, don’t you hear the angels singing out their tune
Tis’ the glory hallelujah, the light of heaven shining thru ya so very soon
Just beyond that shining river when they ring that golden bell for me and you
Oooooooooooooooh
And when our days shall know their number, when in death we sweetly slumber
When the King commands our spirits to be free
Nevermore with anguish laden, we shall reach our final haven
When they ring that golden bell for you and me
Don’t you hear the bells now ringing, don’t you hear the angels singing out their tune
Tis’ the glory hallelujah, the light of heaven shining thru ya so very soon
Just beyond that shining river when they ring that golden bell for me and you
Proverbs 19:23
Whatever you may be going through, good times or bad, may the Lord give us all peaceful and satisfied sleep.
GIVE YOU PEACE by ECHOING ANGELS
I see you lying their whispering prayers
I hear you breathing out hollowed be thy name
Holding out my hand catching every tear
Oh my child I’ll never leave your side
I will give you peace when the walls come crashing down
I will give you peace through the night
When you’ve had all you can take can’t face another day
I’ll give you peace, I’ll give you peace
For such a time as this I have you here
Chosen for the lost to show I’m near
Through your brokenness my glory shines
And through your frailty my strength will rise
I will give you peace when the walls come crashing down
I will give you peace through the night
When you’ve had all you can take can’t face another day
I’ll give you peace, I’ll give you peace
Your beautiful, your beautiful
Perfect in my sight
Righteousness adorns you my bride
Your beautiful, so beautiful
I will give you peace when the walls come crashing down
I will give you peace through the night
When you’ve had all you can take can’t face another day
I’ll give you peace, I’ll give you peace
So my plan for a nice lay in this morning went completely wrong! Firstly my body clock didn’t actually wake me up at 5am, no it woke me up at 4.15am, then I struggled to get back to sleep.
It would then seem that just as I managed that, the bin men came around emptying all the recycle bins at around 6am, they seem to make as much noise as they can with the recycle bins! Then just as I got back to sleep again and what seemed like only minutes later, but was actually around 7am, Victoria woke me up to check if I was supposed to be at work, well with that my lay in was all but gone!
Well… maybe tomorrow!!!
Oh heck, for some reason in my head I’ve just said that to the tune of the “The Littlest Hobo”, how sad is that!
Although having said that I have had an hour or so sleep this morning, before doing a little bit of work!
WITHOUT YOU by JEREMY CAMP
I’ll walk beside You
As You lead me through still waters for my soul
I place my hope in all You are, yeah
And I know You’ll guide me
To places where there’s beauty to behold
There’s no other place I’d rather be, no
Cause I’ve been down the other road
Where fear and doubt
They take control
And I won’t go there anymore
And I won’t make a move
Without You, whoa
I won’t make a move
Without You right by my side
So I will wait for You
To lead me to
Any place where You need
I won’t make a move
Without You
Without You
I’ve walked through the fire
And every step You never left my side
In You is where my help comes from, yeah
Cause You lead, I’ll follow
No matter if the place it seems so cold
My heart’s desire is You Lord, yeah
And I’ve been down the other road
Where fear and doubt
They take control
And I won’t go there anymore
And I won’t make a move
Without You, whoa
I won’t make a move
Without You right by my side
And I will wait for You
To lead me to
Any place where You need
I won’t make a move
Without You
Without You
And I’m letting go
I give You control
It’s not my will
But Yours I’ll follow
And I lay my life
Down at Your feet
And I know…
I won’t make a move
Without You, whoa
I won’t make a move
Without You right by my side
And I will wait for You
To lead me to
Any place where You need
I won’t make a move
Without You
Without You
Without You
Without You
Take my heart, it’s Yours
Your hand, I’ll hold
You lead, I’ll go
And I won’t make a move, no
Proverbs 3:24
I so remember those dark nights of being unable to sleep, that’s why I drank, to drink myself to sleep and escape. But now, since that first time that I prayed, I have been receiving the sweetest sleep ever.
EVEN IF by KUTLESS
Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who You are
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who You are
And we trust in who You are
Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come
Lord we know Your ways are not our ways
So we set our faith in who You are
Even though You reign high above us
You tenderly love us
We know Your heart
And we rest in who You are
Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come
You’re still the Great and Mighty One
We trust You always
You’re working all things for our good
We’ll sing your praise
You are God and we will bless You
As the Good and Faithful One
You are God and we will bless You
Even if the healing doesn’t come
Even if the healing doesn’t come
It’s been a long first week back in the World of Wayne (I wrote it this way, because if I had a pound for every time I had heard it the other way I would be a little richer than I am now), after the lazy Christmas break I really was ready to get back into the swing of things, it just hit me like a ton of bricks to be brutally honest.
The break over Christmas was both good and bad, Christmas went better than I could ever have hoped, I expected to spend most of Christmas and New Year alone, fighting the urge to drink and all the other stupid things I would do to make myself feel better, just like the previous years when I was my own company and that was ok, as long as the beast was with me, I was ok I didn’t really need anybody else, a sad existence, but I couldn’t help it back then, I was trapped within a habit and addiction, just simply losing the will to live as each day went by, but this year was so different.
But as long as the break went on, then the more the old parts of my character, that I thought I had walked away from, started to resurface, not the drinking, I kept that under control, I really didn’t have the urge to drink at all, surprising but I didn’t, it was just the more I stayed within these four walls, the more I got trapped by them and the lazier I seemed to get, days with no purpose aren’t great for me, I have to have routine and purpose to function correctly.
At least the Blogging was there for me, I so enjoyed all the writing and reading all your wonderful Blogs, all the comments and the responses, it was great to share that time with some people who I may never meet, but have become some of my most treasured friends, I thank you all for being there with me, through a testing time.
The early part of this week was very busy, I work from 7.30am to 5pm, then after that I went to do some work for my old employer, by the time I got back and had my tea on Monday, that was it I was fast a sleep by 8.30pm, I was gone, I woke for a short time to respond to some comments, then back to sleep before waking at 5.20am the next morning to go for my walk and start again. That evening I went again to my former employers, came home had tea, got changed and went to karate to teach for 2½ hours, it was gone 11pm when I got back home and then went pretty much straight to sleep.
Wednesday night had a similar pattern, work, more work after that, tea and then I went out to meet my friend Alex for a chat. Alex you may remember came with Gareth that day when my life changed, that morning I made that phone call and the evening they both sat with me as I broke down was 300 hundred days ago today, so it was fitting I guess that I met with Alex this week to discuss my progress since then, I enjoyed our meeting and look forward to doing it again.
As you all know I managed a quick post on Thursday just to let everyone know I was OK, that was followed by an hour at Church with the A.V. Team and the 1½ hours of karate, before bed and a little more sleep.
On Friday nights I teach karate straight after work, this class I actually get paid to teach, all the other four times a week I teach for the love of it, not money, but to just pass on what I have learnt. But Fridays classes can be stressful, I have two classes with my assistant Steve, the first class may only be 45 minutes, but it has four to seven year olds, most of them are okay as long as you keep their attention, but there are a couple that just push the boundaries, they have no intention of learning and just create havoc, so 26 young kids and a couple of tearaways after a long tiring week can test the patients just a little. The second class is for seven to fifteen year olds, who thankfully are very eager to learn, that class balances the first and brings me back down to normality.
Needless to say I was so tired last night, but I managed a quick poem about being tired of all things and today I am getting back into the swing of things, work this morning only until twelve and then karate this afternoon, so now I can rest, write something, catch up on some of your blogs and then crash for the evening, ready for a three hour walk at 5am tomorrow morning, ain’t life great!
Oh and I managed to take a few more photos of the sun rise over Blue Lake this morning, so different to ones from Sunday, although I took these on my iPhone, so they are quite as good quality as the others.
Distant Sun Rise Over Blue Lake 1
Distance Sun Rise Over Blue Lake 2
Distance Sun Rise Over Blue Lake 3
Distance Sun Rise Over Blue Lake 4
Distance Sun Rise Over Blue Lake 5
I will have my camera with me tomorrow morning to capture a sun rise if it is visible, the weather men say it may snow, which will be fun if it does, I can’t wait!
On the altar of our praise
Let there be no higher name
Jesus Son of God
You laid down Your perfect life
You are the sacrifice
Jesus Son of God
You are Jesus Son of God
(Jesus, Son of God by Chris Tomlin & Christy Nockels)
Fighting For Rest
Sleep creeps along these aching bones
My mind wanders along a lonely road
No need to count the sheep as they pass
They quietly drift by as my tired eyes fight
I carry on pushing through the hours
No time for sleep as I’ve still so much to do
Still wrestling with the urge to lay my head
Now I’m closing on the moment I consent
I hit the pillow so hard I sink right within
Now it’s my time to fall so very deep
To embrace the peaceful dreams I so crave
To rest the bones that carry me through each day
The weekend has once again come back around
Thankfully I have made it through this week
Upon minimal rest I’ve walked this busy path
So now I can relax and take that well earned rest
