Tag Archives: Sunrise

Green Fields

Green Fields

As the sun slowly rose
You called me from my slumber
To walk again with You
Along the comfortable path
I’ve walked so many times
Yet there at the end
You called me on
To where my feet went further
Than my heart had planned

There the blue skies
Beyond the trees above
Took away the pain
And at the end I found
The green fields You promised
And there I let go
Of this cold steel rail
That I’ve held on to
For far too long

Walking Again

It’s seems like forever, but for the first time since last summer, I finally managed to get up with the alarm and get out at the house this morning for a walk before work.  I’ve been wanting to for so long, but just kept putting it off each morning, that “I’ll start tomorrow” kind of attitude.

So last night before bed, I actually put my walking stuff out ready, so I had no excuses, the alarm went off and the old reaction of just get up and get ready came back.  I loved the walk so much, it gave me chance to catch the sunrise by the lake and get in a good four mile walk too, a bit of time with God too, I had forgotten how much I loved my walks.

First Light

First Light

Breaking The Horizon

Breaking The Horizon

In The Trees

In The Trees

On The Horizon

On The Horizon

Across The Sky

Across The Sky

For the time being I have decided to take a break from writing “The Story So Far”, I’ve been writing it for almost two months and already clocked up almost 50,000 words, I will continue to write it and bring right up to this year, but it will be at a slower pace for now.

WHOM SHALL I FEAR (GOD OF ANGEL ARMIES) by CHRIS TOMLIN
You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the light

Whom shall I fear

You crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my sword and shield
Though troubles linger still

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

My strength is in Your name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I’m holding on to Your promises

You are faithful
You are faithful

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I’m holding on to Your promises

You are faithful
You are faithful
You are faithful

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

A Brighter End To The Week

It’s fair to say that this week has ended far better than it started.  Last weekend was a tough one in many ways and I thank everyone who left a message of support.  I very often find that when I share my struggle on this blog, it lifts the weight of it from my shoulders, it was certainly the case last Sunday, almost immediately after I had posted the gloom began to lift and I felt so much better.

As the weather has improved also as the week has gone on and I have managed to catch a few sunrises by the lake on the way to work, it seems like so long since I managed that, so as I always used to, I share the sunrises with you all.

Pastel Morning

Pastel Morning

Beyond The Blue

Beyond The Blue

Fire In The Blue

Fire In The Blue

Breaking The Dark

Breaking The Dark

In The Blue

In The Blue

Between

Between

Breaking

Breaking

Highlighting

Highlighting

Risen

Risen

Skies

Skies

THANK YOU by JAKE HAMILTON & KIM WALKER-SMITH
Thank you for the summer
And thank you for the rain
And thank you for the pleasure
Thank you for the pain

Thank you for the flowers
That bloom in early may
And thank you for the winter
That washes fall away

I want to say thank you
Thank you for it all

Thank you for the deserts
Thank you for the trees
Thank you for the failures
And for the victories

Thank you for the pruning
That gives me room to grow
Thank you for the seasons
Where I learn to reap and sow

So come, let us worship
Let us release a joyful sound
Let us enter his presence
Let us all bow down

A Frosty Sunrise

It’s been sometime since I posted any photo’s on here, mostly because of the timing of my walks and the sunrise haven’t quite come together or in typical English fashion, the weather has been pretty lousy!

Despite the this morning being the first frost since the end of last winter, the sunrise was worth catching and sharing.

Beyond The Blue

Beyond The Blue

Two In Flight

Two In Flight

Rising Morning

Rising Morning

First Signs

First Signs

From Beyond

From Beyond

Blue Fades To Orange

Blue Fades To Orange

Rising

Rising

Distant Sun

Distant Sun

DISTANT SUN by CROWDED HOUSE
Tell me all the things you would change
I don’t pretend to know what you want
When you come around and spin my top
Time and again, time and again

No fire where I lit my spark
I am not afraid of the dark
Where your words devour my heart
And put me to shame, put me to shame

When your seven worlds collide
Whenever I’m by your side
And dust from a distant sun
Will shower over everyone

Still so young to travel so far
Old enough to know who you are
Wise enough to carry the scars
Without any blame, there’s no one to blame

It’s easy to forget what you learned
Waiting for the thrill to return
Feeling your desire burn
And drawn to the flame

When your seven worlds collide
Whenever I’m by your side
Dust from a distant sun
Will shower over everyone
Dust from a distant sun
Will shower over everyone

And I’m lying on the table
Washed out in a flood
Like a Christian feeling vengeance from above
I don’t pretend to know what you want
But I offer love

Seven worlds will collide
Whenever I’m by your side
Dust from a distant sun
Will shower over everyone

As time slips by

As time slips by

Under Blood Red Skies

This morning, despite a problem with my hip, which I will explain in another post, I managed to get out walking again this morning, no inner arguments or excuses, today marks a new start and a new season, so it was time to get walking again, spending time with God and it was a great walk, I came home with numerous ideas for posts I would like to draft, so over the next week hopefully I can get to them.

There wasn’t a great sunrise this morning, but the rising sun did turn the clouds a deep red, at times blood red and at others a fiery red.

Under Blood Red Skies

Under Blood Red Skies

When I looked at the skies I was reminded of two verses, firstly from Matthew 16.

He replied, “When evening comes, you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red,’ and in the morning, ‘Today it will be stormy, for the sky is red and overcast.’ You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times.  (Matthew 16:2-3)

Where Jesus has been asked by the Pharisee for a sign from heaven, he talks about the saying which we are all taught at young age, although I know it as…

Red sky at night shepherds delight, red sky in the morning shepherds warning.

But having said that most of the time I find this to be wrong, I have many times walked under red morning skies and found the day to turn out to be great.  When I walked under this sky this morning, I was as far away from the lake as I could be on my walk and wished I had been at the lake to capture the reflection of the clouds upon the lake too.  That started my thinking about a story from the Old Testament that has always intrigued me, this time the signs were definitely interpreted incorrectly.

Now all the Moabites had heard that the kings had come to fight against them; so every man,
young and old, who could bear arms was called up and stationed on the border.22 When they
got up early in the morning, the sun was shining on the water. To the Moabites across the
way, the water looked red—like blood. 23 “That’s blood!” they said. “Those kings must have
fought and slaughtered each other. Now to the plunder, Moab!”24 But when the Moabites
came to the camp of Israel, the Israelites rose up and fought them until they fled. And
the Israelites invaded the land and slaughtered the Moabites.  (2 Kings 3:21-24)

The Moabites just got it wrong, they simply saw the reflection in the water and saw what they wanted to see, not the reality of the situation, they simply saw the sky in the water and jumped to the completely wrong conclusion and this lead to their destruction.

By this time my mind was thinking back to a number of things from last weekend, starting with my poem, Faded Mirror.

FADED MIRROR

I’ve been looking in the faded mirror
The face I see I do not like
I don’t see the one You see

When I see ugly
You see only beauty

When I feel old
You call me child

When I feel alone
Your arm reaches around me

When I see failure
You proclaim my victory

When my scars begin to show
You wipe away my guilt

Forget that old faded mirror
Who I see is not who I’m made to be
Because You created me for greater things

I wrote this partly out of how I have been feeling at times over the last year, but mainly out of deep memories of some of the lowest moments of my life, the times when I looked deep into the mirror and saw only a life not worth living.

As an addict looking back, I guess you never really see the signs of who you are at the time, they’re easy to see now, but when you’re deep in this cycle, while your addiction does everything it can to hide it from those around you, it hides itself from you also.

But there were moments of strange clarity, painful clarity, when you knew who you were, but had no control of how to free yourself.  For me these moments came on Thursday evenings and Sunday afternoons, when I was alone in the house and was forced to stay sober as I had karate later.  I never drank before karate, maybe one pint or so, but never so I couldn’t carry out my duties, I drank after karate, but somehow this was the only thing I really kept sober for.

But being alone in the house brought out my most sinful nature, then I would go to get ready for karate, probably take a bath, but whatever would find myself in the bathroom, facing into the mirror with a penknife in my hand, questioning why I existed at all.

At those moments of sinful guilt, so many thoughts of how I was just a wreck of human being and not worthy of a place on earth, dark thoughts ran through my head, telling me it was time I just ended it all.

EVERYONE WOULD BE BETTER OFF IF I WAS DEAD!

I’M JUST THROWING EVERYTHING AWAY, I’M NOT WORTH IT ANYMORE!

I’M JUST A WASTE OF A LIFE!

IF I’M DEAD THE SYSTEM WILL PROVIDE FOR THEM, BECAUSE I CAN’T ANYMORE!

And so on and so on….

These dark thoughts ran through my head over and over again, there was no light only darkness and death of a life not worth living anymore.

But as the tears fell, there came just one thought that put an end to it all…

“THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN, THEY’RE BETTER OFF WITH YOU AS YOU ARE,
THAN LIVING WITH THE MEMORY OF WHAT THEY’RE GOING TO FIND IF YOU DO THIS!”

Then I knew that my daughter, who then would only be about five or six when all this was happening, would probably be the first person to run up the stairs to look for me, she would find me in the laid in a bath of my own blood.  Oh yes, I had planned it all, cut the wrists, then get in the bath and just wait to die.

But this one thought that I still had two little people that needed me, even like this, broken me, I put down the knife and turned away from the mirror, darkness lifted for a while, until the next time that is, oh yes, there were plenty of next times, but every time the same process, alone, sober, the knife, the darkness, the dark thoughts, then the “think of the kids”, the same cycle every time.

But the worst feeling then was the feeling of nothingness that followed, the hatred for oneself, the self loathing, the limbo I found I was in.

I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO LIVE AND TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO DIE!

I hated that feeling, it hurt, it was painful, it was as though I didn’t belong anywhere anymore.

Somehow I always managed to get in the bath, wash away those feelings for a while and go and do what I needed to do at karate, then afterwards ply myself with as much alcohol as I could.

The last time this happened was the day before I started this journey, the day before I called Gareth and put in place the changes in this life that would see me find God, stop drinking and start a journey I never thought I would ever take.

In that mirror, the reflection I was seeing was a lie, a deception, the darkness was telling me I wasn’t worth it, those voices in my head lied to me, now I know what was happening each and every time.

Over all the dark thoughts that wanted my death, a single voice shouted louder, a whisper in the ear which was heard within the heart not just in the head, a whisper from God saying hang on, there is a life worth leading here, just hang on.

Last weekend a friend from Church, who descended into a depression around the same time as I did last year, discussed how this depression brought him to attempt to take his own life, to cut his wrists, he said to everyone that maybe they wouldn’t understand, but he felt God was holding his wrists, keeping him safe.  Maybe many couldn’t comprehend that, but I could, because I now know that I could never get my hands to move in those moments, I know now that my wrists were being held safe too, I know God held my wrists and whispered in my ear, He did this for me and I didn’t even know Him back then, but He did it anyway.

It seems that like those Moabites, who saw a reflection that deceived them to their death, I saw a reflection that deceived me, I didn’t see what God saw, I saw a life not worth living, He saw one with a great future, I saw a life that was waste to the world, He saw a life that was needed by others.

That day, when I last found myself with that knife in my hand, facing the deception in the mirror, I gave that knife away, I left it on Victoria’s beside table, with a note saying “I don’t need this anymore”.  Though this last time was painful, I felt that nothingness of a life in limbo, afraid to live and afraid to die, I knew that this time it was different, I didn’t know then I was going to call Gareth the next morning, I had asked Victoria to ask if I could speak to him, but I didn’t know what was going to happen, even if I had his number, I doubted I had the strength to actually call him, all I knew was that this cycle wasn’t going to happen again, it couldn’t, this time I thought….

If I couldn’t kill myself, then maybe it’s time to start living.

But that said, when I fell into a depression last year, I had moments, bad moments, moments when death seemed better than living.

At my lowest moments, I didn’t want to go upstairs into the bathroom and cut my wrists, no I saw myself, carving words into my arms, I always saw myself cutting the words “I WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH” deep into my arms, yet once again, as the vision played out, the thought that once again, my young daughter would be the one to look and find me, shut down this thought process, for a while at least, until the next time anyway.

Through November and December, I had trouble sleeping, I just couldn’t sleep, I would lie in bed, pleading with God, not praying, pleading with God not to let me wake up in the morning.  If this was life, I didn’t want to live it.  I wanted Him to take me to heaven now, because I felt nothing here on earth.  Night after night I pleaded to fall into a sleep I would never awake from, because I felt so empty.

I don’t think I have ever told this to anyone, not even my Connect Group or my closest friends at Church, I guess I am ashamed of this memory, ashamed that after everything the Father did for me, I was letting Him down.

He warned me I would fall, He showed me that in a vision, then He showed me that I shouldn’t run away from Him either.  Although I never ran away, I did doubt Him, I argued with Him, I fought Him, I ignored Him, I let Him down, yet He never left my side.

Someday’s I still look in the mirror and feel I’m still “NOT ENOUGH”, but I guess that we all feel that sometimes, I let the mirror deceive me still.

But something changed this weekend.

This time last year, I started my descent into depression, it pretty much started on the week before I went to our Church’s Unleash Men’s Getaway, there I realised I was falling and got the vision of being swallowed by a whale, God was telling me not to runaway, there I began the process of discussing how I was feeling with friends, so I had support as I walked into the deluge that was to wash me away over and over again.

This weekend saw this year’s Unleash Getaway, but this year over the weekend I got the overwhelming feeling that God was telling me, that what started here on this weekend last year, ends this year, my sins are forgotten, the battle, the struggle is over, now it’s time to start walking with Him again.

Which is why, despite the hip pain, I was determined to start walking again this morning and I loved every second of it, the pain faded as I walked in the presence of God.

 YESTERDAY by MAINSTAY
Watch my mind grow legs and wander
What did I expect to find out here, out here?

I am only halfway here tonight
Say that You can take this off of my mind
Every time I go back I realize
That yesterday is never as good as it seems

I’m lost in the feelings that I thought were gone
Come in and make all of their light fade out, it fades out

I am only halfway here tonight
Say that You can take this off of my mind
Every time I go back I realize
That yesterday is never as good as it seems

Oh, make their light fade out
Oh, make their light fade out

I am only halfway here tonight
Say that You can take this off of my mind
Every time I go back I realize
That yesterday is never as good as it seems
Yesterday is never as good as it seems

But I’m Glad I Didn’t Hold My Breath

I have a couple of days of day job, I have quite a few days to get in before the end of the year, so I took a few whilst there is nobody else off.

So I started the day at 5am, determined to get out walking again, I actually planned on doing around 8 miles and catching the sunrise at the lake, after getting to the point where I was planning to turn back, I actually forgot to turn around and carried on all the way up the cycle track, eventually completing about 12 miles.  Which actually turned out pretty well, as the sun never broke through the clouds at the lake, although it did turn the sky and the lake blood red, but it did break through by the time I got to the end of cycle track.

It’s not been an altogether lazy day either, I’ve got a survey drawing to do for the Architects, I’ve not measured it and there so many measurements missing, it’s a real tough one to do and the deadline it tomorrow, although I actually feel like finally saying stuff the deadline!

But the end of this month I’ll be owed 12 months of work, I’ve been patient, there are other circumstances which are beyond my control and are not as straight forward as simply not being paid, but I’ve been as fair as I possibly could.  I was promised some of the money a couple of weeks ago and that I would be paid up to date by the end of the month, I didn’t hold my breath.

At the end of last week I was promised a substantial payment today, but once again, no sign of anything and yet again, I’m glad I never held my breath.

I’ll finish the drawing tomorrow, I have said I would and will keep my word, but after that, we’ll see.

But before that I will get out walking once again, another 12 miles should do the trick.

Early Glow

Early Glow

Fire Skies

Fire Skies

Red Over The Water

Red Over The Water

Horizons

Horizons

Breaking The Cloud

Breaking The Cloud

From Behind

From Behind

Illuminating The Power Lines

Illuminating The Power Lines

Higher Power

Higher Power

In Flight

In Flight

WE DANCE by STEFFANY FRIZZELL GRETZINGER & BETHEL MUSIC
You steady me
Slow and sweet, we sway
Take the lead and I will follow
Finally ready now
To close my eyes and just believe
That You won’t lead me
Where You don’t go

When my faith gets tired
And my hope seems lost
You spin me round and round
And remind me of that song
The one You wrote for me
And we dance

And I’ve been told
To pick up my sword
And fight for love
Little did I know
That Love had won for me
Here in Your arms

You still my heart again
And I breathe You in
Like I’ve never breathed ’till now

When my faith gets tired
And my hope seems lost
You spin me round and round
And remind me of that song
The one You wrote for me
And we dance
And I will lock eyes
With the One who’s ransomed me
The One who gave me joy for mourning
And I will lock eyes
With the One who’s chosen me
The One who set my feet to dancing?

We dance
Just You and me
It’s nice to know I’m not alone
I found my home here in Your arms
It’s nice to know I’m not alone?
I found my home here in Your arms
It’s nice to know I’m not alone
I found my home here in Your arms

A Message From The Little Robin

It’s funny sometimes where we get our messages from, I’ve said countless times before that God has spoken to me through music so many times, even before I was saved, in fact almost four years before I was saved I was been spoken to through music, I just didn’t know it at the time.

I still get messages through music, song’s I’ve heard so many times can just play at random moments and provoke such an emotion internally that I can be reduced to tears at times.  That was kind of how this blog got started.  I had looked at starting a blog, I had written a few of my earliest posts, but I had mothballed it all and put off doing it, partially out of fear, fear I may expose more of myself that I really wanted to.

Then one morning as I was walking a song came on my iPod which provoked such a feeling inside, one that just prompted that I had to do something, it was time to share my story, stop sitting on it and hiding it away, but share it for others in the hope that maybe just one person may be inspired or even saved by it, that was almost two years ago now, but the messages still keep coming.

Yet this morning I felt I was being spoken to from something completely different.  I make no secret of the fact that this time last week I was feeling empty and dejected, I was losing hope and it took some soul searching to get beyond those dark moments.

So this morning I took a walk to watch the sunrise at the lake, I sat there for a while watching the clouds slowly drift by until the rising sun was revealed.  But as I did so, something caught my eye just in front of my feet.

A little robin had landed at my feet and was quite contently walking around in front of me, merely feet from where I sat.  I stayed as still as possible and just watched as it moved around.  I had my iPhone in my hand and carefully took a few photo’s, doing my best not to startle the little thing.  It hopped across onto the grass where it found a worm and after checking that I wasn’t going to challenge it for it’s meal, it devoured the worm and continued to hop around.

Little Robin

Little Robin

For a few minutes the little robin was quite content to be in my company, when I later moved around the lake and sat down at another position, it even came to me once more.

All morning I kept thinking how this little bird had not been worried about me, it was content and without too much trouble found the food it needed.  So later in the morning I did a bible search for a verse I knew I had read many times and found it.

Matthew 6:26
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

So what have I been worrying about all week, why lose faith and hope, when this little bird has everything it needs, because the Lord has provided for it, if Jesus says that I am more valuable than this little bird, then the Lord will provide everything I need, all I have to do is just wait on the Lord.

So as I quite often do during Worship practice at Church, I sit down on my camera platform, listen to the band and start writing whatever is on my mind in form of a poem and came up with the basis of the poem “Sunrise & The Robin”.

It’s funny how last week and even yesterday I was writing from a position of emptiness and despair, but today I write from a completely different place, a place of hope and contentment, thanks to my little friend bringing me a word from God.

Oh, the sunrise was great too.

First Signs

First Signs

Through The Gap

Through The Gap

Breaking Beyond The Clouds

Breaking Beyond The Clouds

In The Light

In The Light

The Gathering

The Gathering

The Glow

The Glow

Swimming Through The Light

Swimming Through The Light

Beyond Silhouette

Beyond Silhouette

Between The Trees

Between The Trees

EMBRACE by JAKE HAMILTON
I want to feel Your embrace
I want to feel Your arms around
I want to feel Your heart beating
Next to mine, next to mine

And it’s telling me

It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay

I want to see You Your face
Want to see who I can be
Want to see what You can see
In the mirror of Your eyes

And You’re telling me

It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay

And I know, if Your eye is on the sparrow
Than Your heart is on me

And I don’t have to wait
To go to heaven when I die
I wanna go right now
We’re gonna go right now

‘Cause this is the sound of heaven
Invading earth, this is the sound

Sunrise, Steam & Beams

I was scheduled for a sales meeting this morning over in Boston, my lift to the meeting was to be with the Area Director, essentially my manager’s boss, I wasn’t really looking forward to that, I thought he would grill me about work, which after the stresses of last week was the last thing I wanted to discuss.

Thankfully we spoke about everything but, mainly about our kids and the hours they spend on computer games and our own experiences when we were young, it was quite an enjoyable chat in all honesty.  The sales meeting wasn’t that bad either, nothing I hadn’t heard before, there were a few people who enjoyed the sound of their own voice, but once again in all honesty, not that bad.

This all meant a change in schedule, I needed to be at work a little earlier than usual, so I decided to get up early, get ready for work and catch the early sunrise before I had to be at work.

I’m glad I did, the effects of the sun lighting the steam as it rose from the lake was very intriguing.

SUNRISE

First Sign

First Sign

Eye On The Blue

Eye On The Blue

Beyond Silhouette

Beyond Silhouette

From Between

From Between

Partial Eclipse

Partial Eclipse

STEAM

Igniting The Steam

Igniting The Steam

Steam Of Orange

Steam Of Orange

Rising Glow

Rising Glow

Highlights

Highlights

Risen Illumination

Risen Illumination

BEAMS

First Beams

First Beams

Reaching Across

Reaching Across

Beyond The Leaf

Beyond The Leaf

Rays Over The Blue

Rays Over The Blue

Double Beams

Double Beams

FREE by SHERWOOD
Something’s wrong
Wrapped up in mourning for far too long
Sunken eyes tracing the pavement and crooked lines
Paint us with crosses and sleepless night

And hope to be free
We just want to be free
Hope to be free
Who’s gonna set us free?

Overgrown
All our mistakes are deceives we’ve sewn
Is it time? I saw the stones rolling back their eyes
Holding their breath until they see the light

It ought to be free
We just want to be free
We just want to be free
Who’s gonna set us free?

With our golden hair in silent sway
We’ll be home when brother finds his way
With our golden hair in silent sway
We’ll be home when brother finds his way
With our golden hair in silent sway
We’ll be home when brother finds his way

With our golden hair in silent sway
We’ll be home when brother finds his way
With our golden hair in silent sway
We’ll be home when brother finds his way

Awake With The Sunrise

Weekly Photo Challenge: Fray

For the second day running I was up and out before 5am, ready for a long walk and to see yet another sunrise.

It may be the same sun, but it’s definitely a new day and different sky, but yet another great sunrise.

As long as the sunrise is different each morning, no day will ever be the same, there to be embraced.

Sky Ribbons

Sky Ribbons

Over Deep Blue

Over Deep Blue

Alone In The Blue

Alone In The Blue

Highlight The Clouds

Highlight The Clouds

Frayed Within The Waters

Frayed Within The Waters

Creeping Through

Creeping Through

Breaking The Horizon

Breaking The Horizon

Between The Blue

Between The Blue

Through Morning Leaf

Through Morning Leaf

Above The Trees Beyond

Above The Trees Beyond

Across The Blue Waters

Across The Blue Waters

I love this song, it’s hard not to.

ANGELS ON THE MOON by THRIVING IVORY
Do you dream that the world will know your name?
So tell me your name
Do you care about all the little things
or anything at all?
I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside
I wanna feel
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I’m alive
To know I’m alive

Don’t tell me if I’m dying
‘Cause I don’t wanna know
If I can’t see the sun, maybe I should go
Don’t wake me ’cause I’m dreaming
Of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know
Never leaves too soon

Do you believe, in the day that you were born
Tell me do you believe?
Do you know, that every day’s the first
Of the rest of your life?

Don’t tell me if I’m dying
‘Cause I don’t wanna know
If I can’t see the sun
Maybe I should go
Don’t wake me ’cause I’m dreaming
Of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know
Never leaves too soon.

This is to one last day in the shadows
And to know a brother’s love
This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood
This is to all of us
To all of us

Don’t tell me if I’m dying
‘Cause I don’t wanna know
If I can’t see the sun
Maybe I should go
Don’t wake me ’cause I’m dreaming
Of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know never leaves too soon

You can tell me all your thoughts
About the stars that fill polluted skies
And show me where you run to
When no one’s left to take your side
But don’t tell me where the road ends
‘Cause I just don’t wanna know
No I don’t wanna know

Don’t tell me if I’m dying
Don’t tell me if I’m dying

I Get To See This, Because I’m Free

WEEKLY PHOTO CHALLENGE: FRAY

One of the greatest things I enjoy most these days is seeing a great sunrise.  When I was drinking, I had no thought of getting out of bed in the morning, I would sleep as long as I could and hide in my own home, behind the close curtains, not letting the outside world see the real me, the hopeless addict.

Since God set me free from that pain, I get to get up early, leave the house in the dark and walk into the light of the day, to watch the beauty of some great sunrises.  Today was no different, the sun turned the frayed edges of the clouds, firstly deep red and then to gold, an amazing scene I could never see from behind the curtains I made my prison walls.

Into The Reflections

Into The Reflections

Frayed Red

Frayed Red

Gold to Red to Blue

Gold to Red to Blue

Fires Of Red

Fires Of Red

Edges In Red

Edges In Red

Fading Red

Fading Red

Bridging Red To Gold

Bridging Red To Gold

First Signs

First Signs

Skies In Gold

Skies In Gold

The Centre

The Centre

Gold On Reflection

Gold On Reflection

Hidden Gold

Hidden Gold

Tips Of Gold

Tips Of Gold

Morning Branches

Morning Branches

Gold

Gold

Light Of The Morning

Light Of The Morning

THIS AIN’T HOME by SEABIRD
With every lie you told
You dug a deeper hole
You should know I’ve been down that road
I can show you where it goes
If you wanna know, it won’t lead you home

And why would we cry for your soul when you’re made of gold?
And why would we lie when you know that this ain’t home?

I know you’ve been afraid
That’s why you stay awake
All night and sleep through the day
Hoping to find a hand you can hold
Before you grow up and grow old

And why would we cry for your soul when you’re made of gold?
And why would we lie when you know that this ain’t home?
Everyone needs a hand to hold onto
Everyone needs a place to come home to
Hope you find a song to remind you
Everyone everyone…

And why would we cry for your soul when you’re made of gold?
And why would we lie when you know that this ain’t home?
Everyone needs a hand to hold onto
Everyone needs a place to come home to
Hope you find a song to remind you
Everyone everyone…

And why would we cry for your soul when you’re made of gold?
And why would we lie when you know that this ain’t home?
Everyone needs a hand to hold onto
Everyone needs a place to come home to
Hope you find a song to remind you
Everyone everyone…

Yeah this ain’t home

So please baby please
I’m begging you to show me
That you still believe that I won’t end up lonely
And please baby please
I’m begging you to help me…