Tag Archives: Thankful

Songs From The Shelter – Psalm 5:11

Songs From The Shelter – Psalm 5:11

Voices of the thankful
Raised from the silence of the night
Sing of song of rejoicing
Of deep felt thanks to our Lord
All safe within His refuge
All singing the same song
Our voices maybe different
In His protection we’re all the same
No matter what our scars
We sing grateful all the same
Our song will reach the nations
Our prayers up to heaven
From where we sing in His shelter
Knowing that many more will join us

Psalm 5:11

Verse of the Day – 1 Chronicles 29:11

Verse of the Day – Isaiah 12:2

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Isaiah 12:2

For the last 100 weeks, He has been my strength and my salvation and I couldn’t be more thankful.

GRACE AND LOVE by KUTLESS
Many things in life are hard for me
Many things can pull us down
I don’t understand why I do what I do
How could I take my eyes off you
After all You’ve done for me
And after all You’ve done for me

It’s by Your grace and love I am saved
It’s by Your grace and love You’ve forgiven me
And by that love and grace I’m amazed
It’s by Your grace and love I am free
I am free, I am free, I am free

And it’s by grace and love that I am free
I’ll live with You eternally
I thank you Lord that I am free
I thank You Lord for loving me
I thank You Lord for dying upon the tree of Calvary
I thank You Lord for loving me
I thank You Lord for dying for me

Because it’s by grace and love I am saved
It’s by Your grace and love You’ve forgiven me
And by that love and grace, I’m amazed
It’s by Your grace and love I am free
I am free, I am free, I am free

Many things in life are hard for me
Many things can pull us down
But by grace and love You’ve forgiven me
And by grace and love we are free

Verse of the Day – Psalm 138:1-3

Thankful For This Journey

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My last post I hadn’t really intended to write, I by chance looked at the Daily Post, initially ignored it, but found myself returning to it after having some deep thoughts about it. But I finished my post with the line:

… but I am who I am and right now, I’m happy with who I am.

Which leads nicely into the post I had actually planned for this evening, that no matter what I have or indeed don’t have in my life right now, despite all that is wrong and everything that is right, I am happy with who I am right now and why shouldn’t I be?

The who I was and the who I am are now so far apart, after sixteen months of this journey, of this new life, my life and my outlook on life has changed so much, I owe so many so much, it’s hard to know where to start.

But let’s be honest here, there is one reason for all of this, one person I have to give all my thanks and praise to and that is….

GOD

He is the reason for the change, He has given me the strength to make it through everything, He is the reason I was able to break free from who I had become, to start life a new, as a new creation through the sacrifice of His own Son upon the Cross.

I know I have my moments of doubt, I have so many regrets that stem from the life that I lived, so many things that I got wrong over a number of years, I have lost so much because of my drinking and my sheer inability to sort my life out.

Okay, I lost work and money, these are significant loses, but the fade into insignificance when you consider that I lost the one thing I crave more than most now, the love of the one I wished to spent the rest of my life with and I still wish to spend the rest of my life with.

I often wish I hadn’t have fell into that trap, that endless cycle of drinking and dying a little as each day came and went. If I hadn’t been so lost in my life, if I had more control of who I was at that time, then I would probably still have that love in my life.

Although we still live in the same house, the relationship is just an echo of what it was.

So yes, I have lost so much because of who I was and what I created for myself, I could hate myself forever for that, but what would that get me. I hated myself so much that I wanted to die, I wanted to leave everything behind, to just disappear from the world, so I wouldn’t be a burden to anyone or have to live in the empty shell that I had become, I stood in despair, facing myself in the mirror with a knife at my wrist, I had had enough, I was ready.

Yes I could have done a lot differently, I could still have so much had I done things so differently, but had I not of fell into that darkness of despair and depression, had I not took the road of alcoholism and lost myself down at the bottom of a bottle, I would be without the greatest thing that anyone could have in their life…

GOD

Would I have this relationship with the Creator that I have now had I not have fallen so far, I was a none believer, I didn’t want to know about God, Jesus or the Bible, I did everything I could to avoid a Church, made excuses to not attend weddings and other services, even before I fell into that alcohol driven existence, I still made those excuses, I still did everything I could to avoid faith.

I honestly don’t think that had I not have hit the bottom I would have this relationship with Him, that I would come to know Jesus and live this life I have now, regardless of what is missing, regardless of what I lost that I now crave, I wouldn’t be who I am now without that journey into darkness.

Maybe at some point along the way, I may have found my way to God, but certainly not with the testimony I have.

Yes, I still crave to reignite that lost love with Victoria, but the ignition of the love in my heart for God is more important. I can live with that loss as long as I have this life with God.

I can pray for us, I can lay that all that the cross.

If it is in God’s plan for us to be together again, then I’m sure that will be, but in His time.

But for now, I live grateful that I have a relationship with God first and foremost, that I have come to know Him and that I continue to grow each day as I journey through this life with Jesus our saviour. Thankful that whatever my sins were and whatever sins I commit now, Christ’s sacrifice has paid for all of them.

What right do I have now to complain about how my life is now, when I have been saved from the existence I was leading.

Things still get to me from time to time, I find myself on the edge about a lot of things, although my finances have improved over the last few months, I’m still living with the debt I’ve created, but we have enough to live on, God has provided. I do get despondent with the situation here in our house, but I know I have to build my relationship with God first, for the time being my journey with my saviour is far more important.

I just have to keep believing and have faith in God and his plan for my life.

WASTE IT ALL by KIM WALKER-SMITH
Covered in shame, hiding my face
I owed a debt I could not pay
Searching in vain to fill my heart’s ache
I threw my worth away

When I thought all was lost
You saw me
And You came to my defence
This priceless gift You gave
Was not meant for me to hold

I wanna waste it all on You
I wanna pour my heart’s perfume
I don’t care if I’m called a fool
I’m wasting it all on You

Lifting my head, holding my face
Wiping my endless tears away
You unlock my heart
Whispering grace
How could I leave this place?

When I’m here at Your feet
I can feel You
All the voices fade away
I will spend all my days
Giving back the love You gave

I’m gonna waste it all on You
I’m gonna pour my heart’s perfume
I don’t care if I’m called a fool
I’m wasting it all on You

All for love and all for me
You gave it all for me to be
Alive in You and You in me
Lord I surrender
To Your love and to Your touch
And to the way You give too much
I’m too in love to not be
All for You