Trust me, I've been there, I've looked, I've searched and I know now, that there are no answers to be found in the bottom of a bottle or on the edge of a blade! Fighting Hard, Recovering, Rebuilding, REBORN. Moving on from addiction to a new life.
Christ has promised the world that He will return and upon that day, the one that stands against, the one that put lies on the tongues of men, will be destroy before Him. We have that promise, He will return, for us His children.
LIGHT UP THE SKY by THE AFTERS When I’m feeling all alone With so far to go The signs are no where on this road Guiding me home When the night is closing in Is falling on my skin Oh God will You come close?
Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me You are with me I I I can’t deny No I can’t deny that You are right here with me You’ve opened my eyes So I can see You all around me Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me That You are with me
When stars are hiding in the clouds I don’t feel them shining When I can’t see You beyond my doubt The silver lining When I’ve almost reached the end Like a flood You’re rushing in Your love is rushing in
Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me You are with me I I I can’t deny No I can’t deny that You are right here with me You’ve opened my eyes So I can see You all around me Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me That You are with me
So I run straight into Your arms You’re the bright and morning sun To show Your love there’s nothing You won’t do
Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me You are with me I I I can’t deny No I can’t deny that You are right here with me You’ve opened my eyes So I can see You all around me Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me That You are with me
There are times when we just don’t have the strength or the will to fight on, that’s when the Lord goes to battle for us, He leads the way for us. This is certainly true of me, I could not have made it this far without Him fighting my corner.
It’s five years today since I accepted Christ as my saviour, over those five years I have been delivered to so many victories, not by my strength, but by the Lord’s.
BATTLES by THE AFTERS This current is trying to wreck me Like castles of sand Castles of sand My fear like an enemy army Is marching again But I’m making a stand
You surround me on every side Your love is my armor, I fear no evil Darkness runs from Your light So I won’t be afraid I won’t be afraid
You’re going before me and oceans are parting You’re fighting my battles When my feet are failing and my heart is shaking You’re fighting my battles Fighting my battles Fighting my battles Fighting my battles
Time after time You’re my refuge You heal evey scar You’re guarding my heart Your promise the hope that I cling to My rescue, my friend You come rushing in
And surround me on every side Your love is my armor, I fear no evil Darkness runs from Your light So I won’t be afraid I won’t be afraid
You’re going before me and oceans are parting You’re fighting my battles When my feet are failing and my heart is shaking
You’re fighting my battles Fighting my battles Fighting my battles Fighting my battles
Fighting my battles Fighting my battles Fighting my battles
In my weakness, You are strong Every trouble, You have overcome
In my weakness, You are strong Every trouble, You have overcome
In my weakness, You are strong Every trouble, You have overcome Your have overcome
You’re going before me and oceans are parting You’re fighting my battles When my feet are failing and my heart is shaking You’re fighting my battles Fighting my battles Fighting my battles Fighting my battles
Fighting my battles Fighting my battles Fighting my battles
(Fighting my battles) (Fighting my battles) (Fighting my battles)
Of late hope has seemed so distant, so far away, but now I know that hope with patience is not hope at all.
BELIEVE (WAITING FOR AN ANSWER) by THE AFTERS Walking through the halls of a desperate place I see it on the faces. All the mothers all the fathers searching for some faith Here I am I’m one of them, my world inside a broken frame Still waiting for an answer Every day I’m getting closer
The more it hurts the more I need of you The more I search the more I see of you I don’t have to know how Or see you turn this around To believe in you, to believe in you now
Walking through the streets that money built Every castle has a hill. All the dreams, all the chasers. Cages waiting to be filled Here I am one of them Can I be stronger than my will I’m still waiting for an answer Every day I’m getting closer
The more it hurts the more I need of you The more I search the more I see of you I don’t have to know how Or see you turn this around To believe in you, to believe in you now
The tears we cry from all the pain You won’t let them go to waste An aching heart will know your face
Through every night, through every fear. You’re by my side, I know you’re here. And in this life, I’m not alone, I’m not alone,
The more it hurts the more I need of you Through every night, through every fear. [background] The more I search the more I see of you You’re by my side, I know you’re here. And in this life, I’m not alone, I’m not alone.
I don’t have to know how Or see you turn this around To believe in you, to believe in you now.
We will all be forever grateful that this true light came into the world to lead us from darkness.
LIGHT UP THE SKY by THE AFTERS When I’m feeling all alone With so far to go The signs are no where on this road Guiding me home When the night is closing in Is falling on my skin Oh God will You come close?
Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me You are with me I I I can’t deny No I can’t deny that You are right here with me You’ve opened my eyes So I can see You all around me Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me That You are with me
When stars are hiding in the clouds I don’t feel them shining When I can’t see You beyond my doubt The silver lining When I’ve almost reached the end Like a flood You’re rushing in Your love is rushing in
Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me You are with me I I I can’t deny No I can’t deny that You are right here with me You’ve opened my eyes So I can see You all around me Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me That You are with me
So I run straight into Your arms You’re the bright and morning sun To show Your love there’s nothing You won’t do
Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me You are with me I I I can’t deny No I can’t deny that You are right here with me You’ve opened my eyes So I can see You all around me Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me That You are with me
I know I can’t make it each day on my own, I know I have to get down on my knees each day and pray for the strength to get through.
LIFT ME UP by THE AFTERS You lift me up with your love You lift me up with your love You lift me up with your love You lift me up
Waiting for the sunrise Waiting for the day Waiting for a sign That I’m where you want me to be
You know my heart is heavy And the hurt is deep But when I feel like giving up You’re reminding me That we all fall down sometimes But when I hit the ground
You lift me up when I am weak Your arms wrap around me Your love catches me so I’m letting go You lift me up when I can’t see Your heart is all that I need Your love carries me so I’m letting go
You lift me up with your love You lift me up with your love You lift me up with your love You lift me up
I know I’m not perfect I know I make mistakes I know that I have let you down But you love me the same
And when I’m surrounded When I lose my way When I’m crying out and falling down You are here to
Lift me up when I am weak Your arms wrap around me Your love catches me so I’m letting go You lift me up when I can’t see Your heart is all that I need Your love carries me so I’m letting go
I can see the dawn is breaking I am feeling overtaken with your love With your love I don’t know what I can offer In this moment I surrender to your love To your love
You lift me up when I am weak Your arms wrap around me Your love catches me so I’m letting go
You lift me up when I am weak Your arms wrap around me Your love catches me so I’m letting go You lift me up when I can’t see Your heart is all that I need Your love carries me so I’m letting go
I can see the dawn is breaking I am feeling overtaken with your love
You lift me up with your love You lift me up with your love You lift me up with your love You lift me up
Even though when I am invisible and my heart and spirit are crushed, I still sense He is near to me.
BROKEN HALLELUJAH by THE AFTERS I can barely stand right now. Everything is crashing down, And I wonder where You are.
I try to find the words to pray. I don’t always know what to say, But You’re the one that can hear my heart.
Even though I don’t know what your plan is, I know You’re making beauty from these ashes.
I’ve seen joy and I’ve seen pain. On my knees, I call Your name. Here’s my broken hallelujah.
With nothing left to hold onto, I raise these empty hands to You. Here’s my broken hallelujah.
You know the things that have brought me here. You know the story of every tear. ‘Cause You’ve been here from the very start.
Even though I don’t know what your plan is, I know You’re making beauty from these ashes.
I’ve seen joy and I’ve seen pain. On my knees, I call Your name. Here’s my broken hallelujah.
With nothing left to hold onto, I raise these empty hands to You. Here’s my broken hallelujah.
When all is taken away, don’t let my heart be changed. Let me always sing Hallelujah When I feel afraid, don’t let my hope be erased Let me always sing Hallelujah. Let me always sing Hallelujah.
I will always sing I will always sing Here’s my broken hallelujah.
It’s one of those night I fear the most, tests to my sobriety, a wedding reception, I just needed a reminder, some inspiration, after all one more week to the two year mark!
FIND YOUR WAY by THE AFTERS Don’t believe, the bridge from you to me could somehow ever be washed away. Don’t give in. Don’t start listening to voices whispering things I’d never say.
There is nothing you could do to make me turn my back on you.
You’re never to lost to know where the road is. It could be dark, you could be hopeless but I’ll wait ‘til you find your way. You’re never to far to be forgotten. Here in my heart, I hear you calling. I’ll wait ‘til you find your way back home.
The hardest part is to just sit waiting. My heart breaking for you. There’s an empty space where I save your place knowing that someday I’ll look at you.
You’re never to lost to know where the road is. It could be dark, you could be hopeless but I’ll wait ‘til you find your way. You’re never to far to be forgotten. Here in my heart, I hear you calling. I’ll wait ‘til you find your way back home.
With my heart still hoping and my arms wide open, I’ll never give up this fight. I know we’ll walk like we used to, and we’ll talk like we used to. It’s just a matter of time.
There is nothing you could do to make me turn my back on you.
You’re never to lost to know where the road is. It could be dark, you could be hopeless but I’ll wait ‘til you find your way. You’re never to far to be forgotten. Here in my heart, I hear you calling.
I’ll wait for as long as it takes I’ll wait ‘til you find your way back home.
We still seem to be in that winter season, where I go to work and then return home in the dark, for the most part I work inside a shop/warehouse with no windows, so I see very little daylight during the day. But thankfully the days are slowly pulling out, this morning although there wasn’t a fantastic sunrise, there was enough light on my way to work to grab a couple of photos, but give it a few weeks I should see the sunset as I walk home too.
Early Light
Light Beyond The Dark Clouds
Light In The Dark
Blue Within The Black
Light Upon The Path
I guess over these last few months my life has mirrored the season, my comings and goings have been in darkness, seeing only fleeting glimpses of light as I keep working through it all. But each day now gets lighter and lighter, yes there are those days when a dark cloud passes over and a storm brews, I had that on Tuesday, yet following that I had a day of clear bright skies and that continues today.
When I started this Blog my ultimate goal for it was to be inspiring, but there have been times over these last few months that I have felt anything but, times when it was a big internal fight to post or not, I was at a real low and didn’t feel I had anything positive to say. It felt like I was being self indulgent and attention seeking, but I guess it was a cry for help also, but having said that it never felt wrong to post about it. I have to say I am glad I kept blogging, I did at one point want to stop for a while at least.
But this journey didn’t just stop when I stopped drinking, it didn’t hit it’s peak when I was baptised, no that was just the start of this walk towards a new life and it continues on, sometimes along easy roads, at others through rough paths.
This walk may just take me through more and more dark times, but there will be good times too, so for now I’ll continue to do what I do, write about it, the good, the bad and the ugly.
I know I don’t get as much chance to respond to comments or visit other blogs as I would like, but I do read every comment and I appreciate them all, I just wanted to say thank you for all the support over the last few months, it has helped immensely.
The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26
THIS LIFE by THE AFTERS I come in to tuck her in. I’m so tired from where I’ve been, doing all I can to stay awake. As she goes on about her day, I hang on every word she says. She reaches out and puts her hand in mine. For a moment, we are here together. And it hits me that this won’t last forever.
We can’t own it We just get to hold it for a while. This Life. We can’t keep it Or save it for another time. This Life.
He was always there for me. Now he’s fighting just to breathe. I tell him it’s ok to let go. As I look into his eyes, I know that this won’t be the last time. But for now, we’re taking different roads. For a moment, we are here together. And it hits me that this won’t last forever.
We can’t own it We just get to hold it for a while. This Life. We can’t keep it Or save it for another time. This Life.
What we give is all we have. How we love is what will last. And this hope we know will carry us through this life.
We can’t own it We just get to hold it for a while. This Life. We can’t keep it Or save it for another time. This Life.
We were never meant to stay, So we don’t have to be afraid Of what is waiting on the other side.
It’s been a long week once again, with a number of late night finishes, but more on that later. The sun has been out in force this week, unfortunately I’ve spent most of the week inside looking out, but at least a little cooler than those on the outside!
Yesterday though, I managed a small amount of time in the sunshine and share three photos taken throughout the day.
Morning – Hidden Source
Afternoon – Floating Over
Evening – Goodbyes
WITH YOU ALWAYS by THE AFTERS Just another lonely night inside these walls Hearing the tears that fall and echo through the halls In that moment, all alone When my strength is nearly gone And it feels like it’s the end I can hear you say again
I am with you I am with you always You don’t have to be afraid I’ll be comfort through the pain I am with you I am with you always Know that I’ll be right beside you Even on the hardest days I’m with you always
I have everything I thought I wanted in this life And from the outside everything is looking fine But on the inside, crying out No one hears me make a sound But you hear me when I pray Through the silence I hear you say
I am with you I am with you always You don’t have to be afraid I’ll be comfort through the pain I am with you I am with you always Know that I’ll be right beside you Even on the hardest days I’m with you always
For every moment of your life For every smile and tear you cry Even when your heart will break When it feels like more than you can take Through every single sleepless night And every battle that you fight. From now until the end of time I am with you
After a busy week last week and a great weekend, I’ve managed to get out walking every morning so far this week , thankfully the weather seems to be holding and our Great British summer has arrived, but for how long we never know, so for now I’ll enjoy every minute of the glorious morning sun.
Light & Dark
The Sky Beyond
The Breaking
5-15AM
Morning Glow
Let’s hope our wonderful weather stays this way for the weekend, it’s going to be a great weekend with One Big Weekend at Church on Saturday and then the launch of ECTV on Sunday, busy times, but definitely exciting.
BROKEN HALLEJUAH by THE AFTERS I can barely stand right now. Everything is crashing down, and I wonder where You are.
I try to find the words to pray. I don’t always know what to say, but You’re the one who can hear my heart.
Even though I don’t know what your plan is, I know You’re making beauty from these ashes.
I’ve seen joy and I’ve seen pain. On my knees, I call Your name. Here’s my broken hallelujah.
With nothing left to hold onto, I raise these empty hands to You. Here’s my broken hallelujah.
You know the things that have brought me here. You know the story of every tear. ‘Cause You’ve been here from the very start.
Even though I don’t know what your plan is, I know You’re making beauty from these ashes.
CHORUS
When all is taken away, don’t let my heart be changed. Let me always sing Hallelujah When I feel afraid, don’t let my hope be erased Let me always sing Hallelujah.
