Tag Archives: The Bible

In Need Of Scripture

It’s been another one of those days and they seem to be getter ever worse as each one passes.  Broken sleep and so much work to do isn’t helping, I really feel so worn out, physically, mentally and more importantly emotionally.

Yesterday evening I just couldn’t engage in our Connect Group meeting, it was okay at first, but then as the evening passed and our discussions on distractions in our lives began, the further I descended into my own head once again, I began to cry and just stare out blankly, I think I heard most of what was said, but I don’t really remember, I just sat on the edge of tears most of the night, fighting them, but at times not very successfully.  My friends prayed for me and comforted me, but this is hard, so hard and I just can’t snap out of it.

That seems to be the story of my existence at the moment, everything feels so empty.  I have been searching for Bible verses that help and found a few that I seem to be able to grip onto.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you;
he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Deuteronomy 31:8

Please feel free to offer any scripture that you think may help, I would really appreciate it.

LOST IN THE WORLD by GREEN RIVER ORDINANCE
Summer rain falling all around you
Washing all the doubts to the bone
In the madness this world, it has created
Don’t forget you are beautiful

IF YOU GET LOST IN THE WORLD, LOST IN THE WORLD
I’LL BE THERE TO FIND YOU
GIVE YOUR HEART AND YOUR SOUL, HEART AND SOUL
FIGHTING TO REMIND YOU
IF YOU GET LOST IN THE WORLD, LOST IN THE WORLD
I’LL BE THERE TO FIND YOU
JUST KNOW I BLEED LIKE YOU, I BLEED LIKE YOU

Someday, somewhere there’ll be a silver lining
Break through wars you’re fighting here
We both know there’s no easy way around
Do you hear my words ringing out?

There’s no higher mountain I would climb
To rid you of the fears that rule your mind
There’s no higher mountain I would climb
For you to see that I am on your side

Brighter Days

After a few days of overcast skies and cold weather, along with an over crowded mind and feelings of numbness, the sun returned today, in more ways than one.

The return of the sun seems to have brightened my world, over the last few days I’ve been drawn to a number of bible passages that have lifted my spirits somewhat. The tiredness remains, but I no longer feel worn or numb, no longer consumed by thoughts that just won’t pass, they’re still there, they’ll never go away, but I’m back in control of them once again, well, I say I, but I mean I have handed them over to the only one who can help me with them.

Colossians 3:12 (Amplified Bible, AMP)
12 Clothe yourselves therefore, as God’s own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper].

When I came across this last night, the heaviness of heart lifted and I suddenly stopped feeling sorry for myself, the words PATIENCE and THE POWER TO ENDURE, rang deep within.

Today a tweet from James pointed out the following passage and once again I found the truth within myself.

Psalm 91 (New English Translation)
14 The Lord says, “Because he is devoted to me, I will deliver him; I will protect him because he is loyal to me.
15 When he calls out to me, I will answer him. I will be with him when he is in trouble; I will rescue him and bring him honor.

My cluttered mind and heart was further lifted this morning, when I heard this song.

So bring me your heart, no matter how broken
Just come as you are, when your last prayer is spoken
Just rest in my arms a while
You’ll feel a change, my child
When you come to the well
(The Well by Casting Crowns)

Finding The Peace From Within The Chaos

Life is never easy, we all have our ups and downs, our good days and our bad days, our triumphs and our failures, we are but human, we are all tested by God, as it is written he never gives us anything we can’t handle, so why do we cry out so quickly sometimes when the going gets hard.

I went from a happy go lucky sort of guy, to someone hiding his actual existence, I hid behind those curtains, afraid to let the world see what I had become, ashamed to show who the real me was, I was weak, but I felt like I was handling it my way, the best way for me, sinking down to the bottom of a bottle, removing myself from reality with my daily doses of alcohol.

By the grace and forgiveness of God, I was able to turn it around, to accept Jesus within my life and trust that God would be with me always, enabled me to find the strength to resist that which brought me down and start the rebuilding of my life.

In just over ten months, I’ve come along way, I have worked through and fought against many obstacles and problems in that time, I have overcome many, but others are still to be resolved.

Sometimes I look at the ones to be resolved, I get angry that they yet to be dealt with, I have resolved so many things in my life recently, why are there still things to be sorted, why can’t I have what I want now.

I often pray for one situation to be resolved, a situation which to be quite honest is beyond my immediate control, I cannot change a person’s heart, I can only have influence on the situation be carrying on with the rebuilding process, of which there is still so much to do, the old broken buildings have been taken down and so far the foundations have been laid deeper and stronger and the walls are starting to be built up stronger.

Yesterday started with a great walk and lovely moment sat by the lake reading the Bible.  I made it to Church as usual, took my old seat at the back for the first time in a few months, simply because I have been helping on the Audio/Visual team of late, I wasn’t schedule to be on this week, so I could enjoy the service like everyone else.

During worship I felt the weight of my relationship situation hit me, I started to weep, but I tried hard to focus on the songs and sing along, but I couldn’t hold the emotion, I broke down, I slumped back into my seat, put my head in my hands as I cried, uncontrollably for the first time since the night I met with Gareth, I prayed for help, I felt lost and useless, eventually I took myself out to clean myself up, I needed a moment.

The people around me didn’t pry, they let me have my moment, some were probably oblivious, some noticed, but didn’t say anything, I retook my seat and waited quietly for the message to start.

This week saw the start of a new series based on the Book of James from the New Testament.  Gareth’s message discussed the problems we face and how we respond to them, that we should be glad to face our problems and find a resolution through our faith in God.

Every word hit me, it all just reinforced my thinking, despite my moment of weakness, the pain I was feeling was a good thing, a problem that actually I am so glad to have, because I know that I still care and I still love, regardless of what else is happening to me and around me I still have those feelings with a passion.

Something else happened during the service, I’ve felt Jesus in my heart before, when I was called out for my Baptism and other times when I’ve been close to giving in to temptation, but today he was there and it was different.  At my Baptism I froze, literally froze, everything stopped for a moment, other times I felt just a short sharp feeling of my heart freezing, but today it was so different.  This time I felt like my heart was burning, it was like having a hot water bottle for a heart.

I’ve had chest pain before, I suffered heart strain and due to my hypertension often feel pains in my chest, but this was so different, there was no pain, just the warmest feeling within my chest that I could ever image, it’s so hard to describe, as I say it was like having a hot water bottle in my chest and it stayed with me until I was in a straight of calmness.

I broke down again after the service, James came over obviously noticing something was wrong and I lost it, breaking down once again, we talked for a long time and I found a calmness in talking with him, he has been a rock to lean on so many times and he was once again.

I left Church to walk home, a little shell shocked to be honest, I got home, Victoria and the kids were back already, she had made some dinner and then I just laid down and slept, I was physically and emotionally tired, I had karate later so I just took and hour to rest.

On my way home I dropped in on David, a friend who was sat next to me in Church, he knows all about my situation and knew exactly why I had broke down, he offered if I wanted to drop in to talk I could anytime, he lives at the bottom of my road, so as I passed I knocked on the door.  We had a great chat and I felt much better afterwards, I was calm, God had brought me friends to talk to, to help me deal with it, I am thankful for each one of them.

James texted me later to make sure I was alright, he suggested I download the podcast of the service and listen to it again, there was so much in there that would help me, so I did, I downloaded it and decided I would listen to it on my morning walk.

So this morning I did and I realised that my problem is a great one to have, in a strange sort of way, it isn’t ideal I know and sometime isn’t easy to live with, but because I felt so strongly about what was happening here, I knew I still have the love, desire and passion within, together with the burning heart, the love of Jesus within, I knew God was with me and for me.

I know many of you who have followed my journey over the last few months have shown an amazing amount of concern for me, people I have never met have become treasured friends and I want you all to know I am fine, God is with me, I know that for sure.

How many times have you heard me cry out
“God please take this”?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need You
God, I need You now
(Need You Now by Plumb)

Take A Day Off Mr Genie: Daily Prompt – Writing Room

Daily Prompt – Writing Room

This morning I found the perfect place to read, I sat there for 45 minutes reading the book of Daniel from the Old Testament, but I didn’t need a genie, he can have a day off.

But it was I place I’ve known all my life, a place I’ve walked by thousands of time, a place over the last year I’ve walked alongside of at least once a day, almost everyday, it’s been there longer than I can remember.

I’ve taken inspiration from it many a time, followers of my Blog have come to know it over the last month as if they walked by it themselves everyday also, they too have witnessed and marvelled at its beauty.

I’ve photographed this place almost daily for the last few months, nearly always underneath the most spectacular sunrise, it traps the early morning sunrise like no other place I know.

This morning my walk was like most of my others, I set off at 5.30am walked along the cycle track, which runs along the route of an old railway for 4 miles out of Newark towards the village of Cotham, I walked as usual to the end of the track then returned.  The track runs alongside a lake, which is locally known as Blue Lake, an old gravel quarry which was flooded, many a year ago, to form a lake.

A foot path surrounds the lake and small fishing stations jut out into the lake and small benches are randomly placed around it. It’s a haven for a number ducks, geese, swans and other birds, together with the rabbits that run here and there across the cycle track.

At 7.45am I returned to the lake, it was deserted, not a soul in sight, I had the whole lake to myself, just me and the birds, waiting for the sun to rise.

I walked down one of the stations and sat right down at the bottom, just feet from the water’s edge.  Then I waited for the sun to rise, as I did I decided to read, I took out my iPhone and read the book of Daniel from my Bible app, as the sun rose I occasionally paused to take a picture, then went right back to reading.

It’s the first time I’ve sat here in its beauty and felt the inspiration of the surroundings and the rise of the sun, but I’m glad I stopped and took that time alone, no one else in sight, just me, the birds and the sun reflecting on the gentle ripples of the lake.

I want to return here again, not just in passing as I do everyday with a camera in my hand, but to sit quietly, to read and to write in its glorious beauty.

The lake may be man-made, but God has given it beauty, he blesses it with wonderful sunrises, like the one below, how can anyone not feel inspired to read and write in this place.

Sunrise 13

Sunrise 13

Take the day off Mr Genie, God’s got it all in hand!

For now I’ll wait
For the sun to shine again
And for now I’ll wait
For the rain to pass away
And I’m looking for the brighter days
When all my hurts seem to fade away
I’m looking for the brighter days to come my way
(Brighter Days by Leeland)