Sun

Sun

Oh new sun come
Light this day
Break through the clouds
That stand in my way
Searching for light
Finding only shadows
I long to see the face
Of the new sun rise
To light the day
That I must face

New Morning Walk

For what seems like the first time in ages I managed to get up and force myself out for a walk this morning.  It was a 5am start and a short walk of just 8.6 miles in just a little over 2 hours.

My calf muscle injuries of last year seem to have cleared up, I can still feel them being a little stiff, but the muscle tears that I had are no way near as painful as they were 18 months ago.  I wan’t as fast as I used to be, but it was worth it.

And although the sun rise was early this morning, I just managed to get to the lake as it came up.

Sunrise 21/5 no 1

Sunrise 21/5 no 2

Sunrise 21/5 no 3

Sunrise 21/5 no 4

Sunrise 21/5 no 5

Sunrise 21/5 no 6

Hopefully this is the start of a regular routine, just like it used to be, not just another false start.  I feel I am going to ache in the morning, but hopefully I can get five miles in before work!!!

WALK by FOO FIGHTERS
A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return

I’m learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I’m learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?
Where do I begin?

Do you remember the days
We built these paper mountains
And sat and watched them burn?
I think I found my place
Can’t you feel it growing stronger?
Little conquerors

I’m learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I’m learning to talk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?

Now
For the very first time
Don’t you pay no mind?
Set me free again
You keep alive a moment at a time
But still inside a whisper to a riot
To sacrifice but knowing to survive
The first decline another state of mind
I’m on my knees, I’m praying for a sign
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I’m on my knees
I never wanna die
I’m dancing on my grave
I’m running through the fire
Forever, whatever
I never wanna die
I never wanna leave
I’ll never say goodbye
Forever, whatever
Forever, whatever

I’m learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I’m learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?
Where do I begin?

I’m learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
I’m learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?

 

Walking Once Again

After a number of false starts over the last month or so, I managed to get out walking again, both yesterday morning and this morning.  I started yesterday with a brisk 8½ mile walk, after all I had to be at work at 8am.  This morning I pushed it a little bit and went for just over fourteen miles, I went on a little further than the bridge I found a few weeks ago and came across a new set of lakes.  The last time I walked that far, which was almost five years ago, these lakes were gravel pits which were still being worked, at some point they have obviously been turned into a set of small lakes, which sit in a really peaceful setting.  I would have liked to have stayed there longer than I did, but I had to get back to be at Church, with a seven mile walk home I was pushing it to get back, showered and back out, but I made it.

I’m hoping this isn’t just another false start and when I wake in the morning I give in to the excuses as to why I can’t spend the time walking with God as I used to.  When I get out I really enjoy it and I feel refreshed after a walk, yet when I wake I convince myself I’m too tired.  So here’s hoping it’s a new breakthrough and I can get back into the routine which was so good for me.

Morning Swim

From Between

Reflections

In Peace

Breaking

Light Beneath The Bridge

I found myself singing out load to this song on the way home, I found this live version, which is just as powerful as the studio version.

LOVE AMAZING by CIRCLESLIDE
Before the sun awakes the morning
Your face I see
Your gentle Eyes are full of mercy
And Love Amazing
And Love Amazing

I’ll rejoice
While my heart aches
I’ll rejoice
My God will save
All my needs have been replaced
With Love Amazing
With Love Amazing

Every day brings new redemption
For all my scars
I’m lavished with complete forgiveness
Reaching above the stars
Reaching over the stars

I’ll rejoice
While my heart aches
I’ll rejoice
My God will save
All my needs have been replaced
With Love Amazing
With Love Amazing

The sentence meant for me
You came and took my place
You turned death’s tragedy
Into a rescue by Your grace
And how it comforts me
To declare Your Love Amazing
Your Love’s Amazing

I’ll rejoice
While my heart aches
I’ll rejoice
My God will save
All my needs have been replaced
With Love Amazing
With Love Amazing

Finding The Green Fields Once Again

About a month ago I got off to a bit of a false start in terms of getting out each morning and walking as the sun rises.  At one time I was out every morning, regardless of the weather, the days when I walked seemed to have far more balance to them, then about two years ago it started to get a little sporadic, until eventually I stopped before slipping into a period of dark depression.

Over the last couple of years I’ve tried many a time to get out again.  Just like a month ago it starts out alright for a few days, but somehow I find an excuse to miss a day, then two, then three and so on and so on.  Last month it lasted just short of a week and then due to being busy with work, I decided I was too tired and caved in each morning.  But each night I would berate myself in my journal for not getting out, I would promise myself I would get out again the next morning, but it never happened and the cycle carried on.  This morning though, the alarm went of and there was no deliberation, within ten minutes I was out the house walking.

My plan was to walk the cycle track, which is about four miles long and then return, it a total walk of around eight and half miles, in around two hours, on the way I would just make it to the lake as the sun rises.

Blue Skies

Hidden

Beyond

Over The Green Fields

Before The Clouds

As I got to the end of the track, which up to the point where I turn around is tarmac, I noticed that the dirt path which continues for another few miles had been cut back, over recent years it has been overgrown, last time I attempted to walk it was almost three years ago, but it was so overgrown I couldn’t get through.  I walked it about five years ago and remember coming across a peaceful little spot where a small stream runs under a bridge, I’ve wanted to find it again so many times, but as I say the last time I tried it was impossible.

This morning for some reason, I just carried on, without even thinking I found myself walking the small path, until I found the bridge right at the end of the path, after the bridge it is still overgrown, but I wasn’t bothered about that, I had found what I wanted.

The Stream

The Bridge

It’s Bank Holiday Monday tomorrow and I am not working this one, so all being well I intend to walk it again in the morning, although my aching hips may have something to say about that!!!

This morning I wrote “Green Fields”, I felt it was an answer to my prayers, to get up again and get out walking, I feel I have drifted a little for long enough, keeping some of the routines that help me along the way in this recovery, but abandoning others, like the daily walking.

There is a cheeky reference in there from a classic song, not sure whether anyone can spot it, there a clue included in the title too.

MERCY TREE by LACEY STURM
On a hill called Calvary
Stands an endless mercy tree
Every broke and weary soul
Find your rest and be made whole

Stripes of blood that stain its frame
Shed to wash away our shame
From the scars pure love released
Salvation brought the mercy tree

In the sky, between two thieves
Hung the blameless Prince of Peace
Bruised and battered, scarred and scorned
Sacred Hands pierced by our thorns

It is finished was his cry
The perfect Lamb was crucified
The sacrifice, our victory.
Our Savior chose the mercy tree

Hope went dark that violent day
The whole earth ‘quaked at love’s display
Three days silence in the ground
This body born for Heaven’s crown

On that bright and glorious day
Heaven opened up the grave
He’s alive and risen indeed
Praise him for the mercy tree

Death has died. Love has won!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Jesus Christ has overcome.
He has risen from the dead.

Death has died. Love has won!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Jesus Christ has overcome.
He has risen from the dead.

One day soon we’ll see His face
And every tear, He’ll wipe a way
No more pain or suffering
Oh, praise him for the mercy tree

Death has died. Love has won!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Jesus Christ has overcome.
He has risen from the dead.

Death has died. Love has won!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Jesus Christ has overcome.
He has risen from the dead.

On a hill called Calvary
Stands an endless mercy tree

Walking Again

It’s seems like forever, but for the first time since last summer, I finally managed to get up with the alarm and get out at the house this morning for a walk before work.  I’ve been wanting to for so long, but just kept putting it off each morning, that “I’ll start tomorrow” kind of attitude.

So last night before bed, I actually put my walking stuff out ready, so I had no excuses, the alarm went off and the old reaction of just get up and get ready came back.  I loved the walk so much, it gave me chance to catch the sunrise by the lake and get in a good four mile walk too, a bit of time with God too, I had forgotten how much I loved my walks.

First Light

Breaking The Horizon

In The Trees

On The Horizon

Across The Sky

For the time being I have decided to take a break from writing “The Story So Far”, I’ve been writing it for almost two months and already clocked up almost 50,000 words, I will continue to write it and bring right up to this year, but it will be at a slower pace for now.

WHOM SHALL I FEAR (GOD OF ANGEL ARMIES) by CHRIS TOMLIN
You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the light

Whom shall I fear

You crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my sword and shield
Though troubles linger still

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

My strength is in Your name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I’m holding on to Your promises

You are faithful
You are faithful

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I’m holding on to Your promises

You are faithful
You are faithful
You are faithful

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

A Brighter End To The Week

It’s fair to say that this week has ended far better than it started.  Last weekend was a tough one in many ways and I thank everyone who left a message of support.  I very often find that when I share my struggle on this blog, it lifts the weight of it from my shoulders, it was certainly the case last Sunday, almost immediately after I had posted the gloom began to lift and I felt so much better.

As the weather has improved also as the week has gone on and I have managed to catch a few sunrises by the lake on the way to work, it seems like so long since I managed that, so as I always used to, I share the sunrises with you all.

Pastel Morning

Beyond The Blue

Fire In The Blue

Breaking The Dark

In The Blue

Between

Breaking

Highlighting

Risen

Skies

THANK YOU by JAKE HAMILTON & KIM WALKER-SMITH
Thank you for the summer
And thank you for the rain
And thank you for the pleasure
Thank you for the pain

Thank you for the flowers
That bloom in early may
And thank you for the winter
That washes fall away

I want to say thank you
Thank you for it all

Thank you for the deserts
Thank you for the trees
Thank you for the failures
And for the victories

Thank you for the pruning
That gives me room to grow
Thank you for the seasons
Where I learn to reap and sow

So come, let us worship
Let us release a joyful sound
Let us enter his presence
Let us all bow down

A Frosty Sunrise

It’s been sometime since I posted any photo’s on here, mostly because of the timing of my walks and the sunrise haven’t quite come together or in typical English fashion, the weather has been pretty lousy!

Despite the this morning being the first frost since the end of last winter, the sunrise was worth catching and sharing.

Beyond The Blue

Two In Flight

Rising Morning

First Signs

From Beyond

Blue Fades To Orange

Rising

Distant Sun

DISTANT SUN by CROWDED HOUSE
Tell me all the things you would change
I don’t pretend to know what you want
When you come around and spin my top
Time and again, time and again

No fire where I lit my spark
I am not afraid of the dark
Where your words devour my heart
And put me to shame, put me to shame

When your seven worlds collide
Whenever I’m by your side
And dust from a distant sun
Will shower over everyone

Still so young to travel so far
Old enough to know who you are
Wise enough to carry the scars
Without any blame, there’s no one to blame

It’s easy to forget what you learned
Waiting for the thrill to return
Feeling your desire burn
And drawn to the flame

When your seven worlds collide
Whenever I’m by your side
Dust from a distant sun
Will shower over everyone
Dust from a distant sun
Will shower over everyone

And I’m lying on the table
Washed out in a flood
Like a Christian feeling vengeance from above
I don’t pretend to know what you want
But I offer love

Seven worlds will collide
Whenever I’m by your side
Dust from a distant sun
Will shower over everyone

As time slips by

As time slips by

But I’m Glad I Didn’t Hold My Breath

I have a couple of days of day job, I have quite a few days to get in before the end of the year, so I took a few whilst there is nobody else off.

So I started the day at 5am, determined to get out walking again, I actually planned on doing around 8 miles and catching the sunrise at the lake, after getting to the point where I was planning to turn back, I actually forgot to turn around and carried on all the way up the cycle track, eventually completing about 12 miles.  Which actually turned out pretty well, as the sun never broke through the clouds at the lake, although it did turn the sky and the lake blood red, but it did break through by the time I got to the end of cycle track.

It’s not been an altogether lazy day either, I’ve got a survey drawing to do for the Architects, I’ve not measured it and there so many measurements missing, it’s a real tough one to do and the deadline it tomorrow, although I actually feel like finally saying stuff the deadline!

But the end of this month I’ll be owed 12 months of work, I’ve been patient, there are other circumstances which are beyond my control and are not as straight forward as simply not being paid, but I’ve been as fair as I possibly could.  I was promised some of the money a couple of weeks ago and that I would be paid up to date by the end of the month, I didn’t hold my breath.

At the end of last week I was promised a substantial payment today, but once again, no sign of anything and yet again, I’m glad I never held my breath.

I’ll finish the drawing tomorrow, I have said I would and will keep my word, but after that, we’ll see.

But before that I will get out walking once again, another 12 miles should do the trick.

Early Glow

Fire Skies

Red Over The Water

Horizons

Breaking The Cloud

From Behind

Illuminating The Power Lines

Higher Power

In Flight

WE DANCE by STEFFANY FRIZZELL GRETZINGER & BETHEL MUSIC
You steady me
Slow and sweet, we sway
Take the lead and I will follow
Finally ready now
To close my eyes and just believe
That You won’t lead me
Where You don’t go

When my faith gets tired
And my hope seems lost
You spin me round and round
And remind me of that song
The one You wrote for me
And we dance

And I’ve been told
To pick up my sword
And fight for love
Little did I know
That Love had won for me
Here in Your arms

You still my heart again
And I breathe You in
Like I’ve never breathed ’till now

When my faith gets tired
And my hope seems lost
You spin me round and round
And remind me of that song
The one You wrote for me
And we dance
And I will lock eyes
With the One who’s ransomed me
The One who gave me joy for mourning
And I will lock eyes
With the One who’s chosen me
The One who set my feet to dancing?

We dance
Just You and me
It’s nice to know I’m not alone
I found my home here in Your arms
It’s nice to know I’m not alone?
I found my home here in Your arms
It’s nice to know I’m not alone
I found my home here in Your arms

A Message From The Little Robin

It’s funny sometimes where we get our messages from, I’ve said countless times before that God has spoken to me through music so many times, even before I was saved, in fact almost four years before I was saved I was been spoken to through music, I just didn’t know it at the time.

I still get messages through music, song’s I’ve heard so many times can just play at random moments and provoke such an emotion internally that I can be reduced to tears at times.  That was kind of how this blog got started.  I had looked at starting a blog, I had written a few of my earliest posts, but I had mothballed it all and put off doing it, partially out of fear, fear I may expose more of myself that I really wanted to.

Then one morning as I was walking a song came on my iPod which provoked such a feeling inside, one that just prompted that I had to do something, it was time to share my story, stop sitting on it and hiding it away, but share it for others in the hope that maybe just one person may be inspired or even saved by it, that was almost two years ago now, but the messages still keep coming.

Yet this morning I felt I was being spoken to from something completely different.  I make no secret of the fact that this time last week I was feeling empty and dejected, I was losing hope and it took some soul searching to get beyond those dark moments.

So this morning I took a walk to watch the sunrise at the lake, I sat there for a while watching the clouds slowly drift by until the rising sun was revealed.  But as I did so, something caught my eye just in front of my feet.

A little robin had landed at my feet and was quite contently walking around in front of me, merely feet from where I sat.  I stayed as still as possible and just watched as it moved around.  I had my iPhone in my hand and carefully took a few photo’s, doing my best not to startle the little thing.  It hopped across onto the grass where it found a worm and after checking that I wasn’t going to challenge it for it’s meal, it devoured the worm and continued to hop around.

Little Robin

For a few minutes the little robin was quite content to be in my company, when I later moved around the lake and sat down at another position, it even came to me once more.

All morning I kept thinking how this little bird had not been worried about me, it was content and without too much trouble found the food it needed.  So later in the morning I did a bible search for a verse I knew I had read many times and found it.

Matthew 6:26
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

So what have I been worrying about all week, why lose faith and hope, when this little bird has everything it needs, because the Lord has provided for it, if Jesus says that I am more valuable than this little bird, then the Lord will provide everything I need, all I have to do is just wait on the Lord.

So as I quite often do during Worship practice at Church, I sit down on my camera platform, listen to the band and start writing whatever is on my mind in form of a poem and came up with the basis of the poem “Sunrise & The Robin”.

It’s funny how last week and even yesterday I was writing from a position of emptiness and despair, but today I write from a completely different place, a place of hope and contentment, thanks to my little friend bringing me a word from God.

Oh, the sunrise was great too.

First Signs

Through The Gap

Breaking Beyond The Clouds

In The Light

The Gathering

The Glow

Swimming Through The Light

Beyond Silhouette

Between The Trees

EMBRACE by JAKE HAMILTON
I want to feel Your embrace
I want to feel Your arms around
I want to feel Your heart beating
Next to mine, next to mine

And it’s telling me

It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay

I want to see You Your face
Want to see who I can be
Want to see what You can see
In the mirror of Your eyes

And You’re telling me

It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay

And I know, if Your eye is on the sparrow
Than Your heart is on me

And I don’t have to wait
To go to heaven when I die
I wanna go right now
We’re gonna go right now

‘Cause this is the sound of heaven
Invading earth, this is the sound

Sunrise, Steam & Beams

I was scheduled for a sales meeting this morning over in Boston, my lift to the meeting was to be with the Area Director, essentially my manager’s boss, I wasn’t really looking forward to that, I thought he would grill me about work, which after the stresses of last week was the last thing I wanted to discuss.

Thankfully we spoke about everything but, mainly about our kids and the hours they spend on computer games and our own experiences when we were young, it was quite an enjoyable chat in all honesty.  The sales meeting wasn’t that bad either, nothing I hadn’t heard before, there were a few people who enjoyed the sound of their own voice, but once again in all honesty, not that bad.

This all meant a change in schedule, I needed to be at work a little earlier than usual, so I decided to get up early, get ready for work and catch the early sunrise before I had to be at work.

I’m glad I did, the effects of the sun lighting the steam as it rose from the lake was very intriguing.

SUNRISE

First Sign

Eye On The Blue

Beyond Silhouette

From Between

Partial Eclipse

STEAM

Igniting The Steam

Steam Of Orange

Rising Glow

Highlights

Risen Illumination

BEAMS

First Beams

Reaching Across

Beyond The Leaf

Rays Over The Blue

Double Beams

FREE by SHERWOOD
Something’s wrong
Wrapped up in mourning for far too long
Sunken eyes tracing the pavement and crooked lines
Paint us with crosses and sleepless night

And hope to be free
We just want to be free
Hope to be free
Who’s gonna set us free?

Overgrown
All our mistakes are deceives we’ve sewn
Is it time? I saw the stones rolling back their eyes
Holding their breath until they see the light

It ought to be free
We just want to be free
We just want to be free
Who’s gonna set us free?

With our golden hair in silent sway
We’ll be home when brother finds his way
With our golden hair in silent sway
We’ll be home when brother finds his way
With our golden hair in silent sway
We’ll be home when brother finds his way

With our golden hair in silent sway
We’ll be home when brother finds his way
With our golden hair in silent sway
We’ll be home when brother finds his way