Tag Archives: Times

Times – Ecclesiastes 7:14

Times – Ecclesiastes 7:14

All our time
Of time to come
And times of past
All by a hand
Time of good
And times so sad
All by the One
Our time is now
Our time to be
Look to the Lord
For all our times
Time on earth
All thanks to the Father
The maker of time

Ecclesiastes 7:14

Ecclesiastes 7:14

Verse of the Day – Psalm 31:14-15

Psalm 31:14-15

Psalm 31:14-15

I simply place all my trust in Him, whatever I face, I know He will be with me.

TIMES by TENTH AVENUE NORTH
I know I need You
I need to love You
I’d love to see You but it’s been so long

I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
I need to hear You
Is that so wrong

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

Now You pull me near You
When we’re close I fear You
Still I’m afraid to tell you all that I’ve done

Are You done forgiving
Or can You look past my pretending, Lord
I’m so tired of defending what I’ve become
What have I become

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

I hear You say
My love is over
It’s underneath
It’s inside
It’s in between

The times that you doubt me
When you can’t feel
The times that you question
Is this for real

The times you’re broken
The times that you mend
The times you hate me
And the times that you bend

Well my love is over
It’s underneath
It’s inside
It’s in between

The times that you’re healing
And when your heart breaks
The times that you feel like you’ve fallen from grace

The times you’re hurting
The times that you heal
The times you go hungry and are tempted to steal

In times of confusion
In chaos and pain
I’m there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame

I’m there through your heart-ache
I’m there in the storm
My love I will keep you by my power alone

I don’t care where you’ve fallen or where you have been
I’ll never forsake you
My love never ends
It never ends, mmmm

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

Verse of the Day – Colossians 3:23-24

Colossians 3:23-24

Colossians 3:23-24

It’s been one of those really frustrating days at work, it’s hard for me on those days, as I walk home part of me just wants to get home and get hammered.  On night’s like these I am thankful the Lord gives me strength to get through and the peace to put my heart at rest.

TIMES by TENTH AVENUE NORTH
I know I need You
I need to love You
I’d love to see You but it’s been so long

I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
I need to hear You
Is that so wrong

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

Now You pull me near You
When we’re close I fear You
Still I’m afraid to tell you all that I’ve done

Are You done forgiving
Or can You look past my pretending, Lord
I’m so tired of defending what I’ve become
What have I become

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

I hear You say
My love is over
It’s underneath
It’s inside
It’s in between

The times that you doubt me
When you can’t feel
The times that you question
Is this for real

The times you’re broken
The times that you mend
The times you hate me
And the times that you bend

Well my love is over
It’s underneath
It’s inside
It’s in between

The times that you’re healing
And when your heart breaks
The times that you feel like you’ve fallen from grace

The times you’re hurting
The times that you heal
The times you go hungry and are tempted to steal

In times of confusion
In chaos and pain
I’m there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame

I’m there through your heart-ache
I’m there in the storm
My love I will keep you by my power alone

I don’t care where you’ve fallen or where you have been
I’ll never forsake you
My love never ends
It never ends, mmmm

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

Still Trying To Answer Questions Of Faith

Questions Of Faith

Why were you Sad, my Child?

Lost
Alone
Afraid

What was in your Heart?

Anger
Hate
Rejection

Why were you so Angry?

Pain
Addiction
Dying

What stopped you from Answering me?

Confusion
Ignorance
Pride

Why did you Come to me, my Child?

Crisis
Need
Hope

What were you Looking for?

Help
Strength
Answers

What is it that you have Found?

Clarity
Love
Everything

What are your Hopes and Prayers?

Salvation
Freedom
FAITH

I wrote this poem on New Years Day 2013, I still remember writing it, I remember the initial idea, the line of questions and sing word answers, I settled on three words to each question, then struggled, I wanted to expand the answers to short sentences, but that didn’t seem to work either, I wasn’t happy, so I returned to the single word answers, that worked better, but then my answers were hard to come by, the questions I had settled on, but the answers were a problem.

It took some time, a lot of crossing out, switching answers and returning back to my initial gut feelings, before I finally settled on the finished poem and posted it on the Blog.

This was also the first poem that I ever shared at a connect group meeting, on that evening it seemed to fit with the discussion, I couldn’t read it, I had to ask someone to read it out, but it was well received.

I been thinking about this poem so much of late, there have been quite a few times whilst walking to work over the last few weeks, that I have started to ask myself if I would now change any answers to the questions posed?  Or should I write another set of questions?

The simple answer was no, I was happy with what it was that I had composed, I was happy with my response to the questions that I felt I was being asked.  They sum up my journey then and still do.

I know I haven’t written much in the way of poetry of late, I have started a few, but none seem to work the way I want them to, not without sounding like something I’ve already written.  Quite a few of my compositions have been a conversation with God, most of the time I start to write how I feel and then I seem to write the answers to my questions or response to my feelings, this is the only time that I have written from the other way round, questions from the Lord to be answered by myself.

I’m happy now that I have looked at this again, it is me, it is my journey and how I felt at the time, nothing has changed.

My question is, if you were answering the same questions, what would your three words be?

TIMES by TENTH AVENUE NORTH
I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it’s been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Now You pull me near You
When we’re close, I fear You
Still I’m afraid to tell You, all that I’ve done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I’m so tired of defending, what I’ve become
What have I become?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

I hear You say, 
“My love is over. It’s underneath.
It’s inside. It’s in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can’t feel.
The times that you question, ‘Is this for real?’
The times you’re broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it’s underneath.
It’s inside, it’s in between.
These times you’re healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you’re falling from grace.
The times you’re hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I’m there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I’m there through your heartache.
I’m there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow’r alone.
I don’t care where you fall, where you have been.
I’ll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends.”

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Riding Roller Coasters

It’s been a real roller coaster ride this week, after starting with a nice lazy Monday, it felt like the first day I’ve had to myself to just chill in months, so I took it nice and easy. It was also Ben’s 12th birthday so after school I took him in to town to get a present he wanted, he chose an Arsenal football shirt, well there’s no accounting for taste. It was a good day, one done in my time, no deadlines to achieve, no places I need to be, for what seemed like the first time in forever.

But Tuesday it just went wrong, it was back to work, but that went okay in all honesty, it was what happened after that, that set the tone for the whole week to come.  Straight from work I went on to the Architect’s that I used to work for, I expected to be there a few hours, I was okay with that. But right from the start it started to go wrong.

As usual there was a list of things to do I just wasn’t expecting and my computer was running so slow, it’s never run that badly, everything seemed to take two or three times longer, it began to stress me out. But the thing that really set me off was the fact there was still no sign of being paid, I was still owed money for all the work I carried out in both July and August, my bank account was empty because I gave everything I had to Victoria to get food for the family, next pay day wasn’t until the 28th, it was a real kick in the teeth.

Then I lost all the work I had managed to do, my CAD program crashed and the autosave feature failed, I had to start again. After two hours (12 hours since I actually started work) I gave up and packed up my stuff, I was going home. I don’t think she was very happy, I agreed to go back Thursday evening to try to finish the job, but I wasn’t stopping.

I got home, went straight upstairs into the back room and just laid down on the floor, I had lost control of my emotions and was fighting off tears once again. I just laid in the dark, my headphones in my ears still, praying for a calmness. At that point I couldn’t face seeing anyone else, I was so tightly wound, I needed time and space. Eventually I came around and came back downstairs, before I set off out to join some of the guys from church for five a side football, I still wasn’t good company, but I was coming around.

Wednesday I got a text saying if I completed the job I was doing Thursday night I would hopefully get paid on Friday, I ignored it, it just wound me up again, I was doing my best to stay calm and cheerful!

So Thursday night came around, I made sure I picked up some tea on the way, Tuesday I was hungry to boot, which really didn’t help, so I went in as positive as possible, just sat down and got on with it. It was a bit of a drag, but I got it all finished, I eventually got home at 9.30pm, having left the house at 7am that morning to go to work, I was shattered.

So yesterday morning I skipped walking, I was still shattered, everything seemed to be going okay, until I got halfway to work and realised I had left my bag, great I turned around ran home and then walked as fast as I could to get to work, Friday the 13th had really kicked in.

I did get paid on Friday, which was about the only thing that was going right. That morning I told Victoria I had promised Ben if I got paid I would take him to Lincoln shopping, so knowing I had been paid when I got home I was really looking forward to a Saturday where I wasn’t working and I had some money to treat the kids to a morning out shopping.

Well I nearly blew that too, I came home picked Ben up in a rush to get to Amplified, as we left he excitedly told me that he was going into to town with his Mum and sister to get a mobile phone with his birthday money. I overreacted, I just couldn’t hold in my disappointment that my plans seemed to have been dashed, needless to say it upset him, he’s sensitive like I am, he wouldn’t like thinking he was letting anyone down, but like me he wouldn’t say anything to anyone.

We got to Amplified as they were setting up, he was obviously upset because he said he felt sick. So we came home and again I went upstairs again out the way, I knew I had made a mess of it again, I hadn’t handled my feelings very well once again.

After fifteen minutes or so I came down, explained to Victoria what had happened and left the house to go to the shop. When I came back she had obviously spoken with him, as a little later he asked if we were still going to Lincoln, I cheered up a bit.

I’ve come to realise this week I have a real problem dealing with my feelings, I don’t have a fall back any more, I don’t have alcohol to just remove me from my feelings and I don’t have Victoria to sit down and talk to like I used to, I can’t remember how many times when I was struggling before that I cried myself to sleep safely in her arms.

But Wednesday morning I was still wound up, I woke and got out walking with my mind all over the place, so I just prayed for calmness again. That’s when I stopped thinking about work and stress, I started to form the words to the poem “Oceans Where The Mountains Fall“, I felt like I was just being reminded not to see the mountains ahead as an insurmountable problem, I was nudged to remember what I’ve already overcome, the mountains I’ve faced that have already been moved, that have been toppled into the sea.

Oceans Where The Mountains Fall

Oceans Where The Mountains Fall

The words just formed a poem in my mind, so I started to put it into my phone as I walked, I finished it as I got to work and posted it. My best poems form when I walk, just like “Found Upon A Distant Shore“, that one I wrote in my head over a number of days before writing it down.

Found Upon A Distant Shore

Found Upon A Distant Shore

We did get to Lincoln this morning, but more on that later…

In trying to find a song to go with this, I remembered this one, enjoy.

TIMES by TENTH AVENUE NORTH
I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it’s been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Now You pull me near You
When we’re close, I fear You
Still I’m afraid to tell You, all that I’ve done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I’m so tired of defending, what I’ve become
What have I become?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

I hear You say, 
“My love is over. It’s underneath.
It’s inside. It’s in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can’t feel.
The times that you question, ‘Is this for real?’
The times you’re broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it’s underneath.
It’s inside, it’s in between.
These times you’re healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you’re falling from grace.
The times you’re hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I’m there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I’m there through your heartache.
I’m there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My power alone.
I don’t care where you fall, where you have been.
I’ll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends.”

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Ain’t Technology Great!

My great week has been blown aside a little today, my frigging iPhone has randomly decided to delete all my contacts, great, now I can’t seem to get any of them back!

I have a number of texts that I could probably work out who they are from and then use to create a contact, but I don’t seem to have any backup of my contacts, other than on my old phone which my Son now has for playing games on, but transferring those seems more complicated than I imagined, so now I’m a little stumped and ever so slightly hacked off!

But I shall persevere and find a way to get the majority back, there’s over sixteen years of contacts that have been lost, I’m not sure I’ve got some of them anywhere else!

So after working late, this time until 8.45pm, I’ve now spent over two hours trying to get them back, it looks like a late night, again!

So for now whilst I wait for the old phone to back up (my last hope before manually typing them in), I will chill out with a song and I just love this one.

TIMES by TENTH AVENUE NORTH
I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it’s been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Now You pull me near You
When we’re close, I fear You
Still I’m afraid to tell You, all that I’ve done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I’m so tired of defending, what I’ve become
What have I become?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

I hear You say,
“My love is over. It’s underneath.
It’s inside. It’s in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can’t feel.
The times that you question, ‘Is this for real?’
The times you’re broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it’s underneath.
It’s inside, it’s in between.
These times you’re healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you’re falling from grace.
The times you’re hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I’m there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I’m there through your heartache.
I’m there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow’r alone.
I don’t care where you fall, where you have been.
I’ll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends.”

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.