Tag Archives: Vision

Dream The Dreams Of Salvation (Joel 2:28)

Dream The Dreams Of Salvation (Joel 2:28)

We pray Holy Spirit come
Pour out over us
We the faithful
We who believe
Bring us the wisdom of Your spirit
Give us eyes that we may see
Visions for the kingdom
Let us dream the dreams of salvation
And see it come to pass
A world that stands so lost
One day will find it’s way in You

Joel 2:28

Joel 2:28

Verse of the Day – 1 Corinthians 2:9-10

1 Corinthians 2:9-10

1 Corinthians 2:9-10

I know His Spirit speaks to me and reveals things to me, things which sometimes I do not understand, but I continue to pray over them, until the day when it will be revealed in it’s fullness.

HOLY SPIRIT by JESUS CULTURE
There’s nothing worth more
That will ever come close nothing can compare
You’re our living hope

Your Presence Lord

I’ve tasted and seen, of the sweetest of Loves
Where my heart becomes free, and my shame is undone
In Your Presence Lord

Holy Spirit You are welcome here
Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere
Your Glory God is what our hearts long for
To be overcome by Your Presence Lord

Let us become more aware of Your Presence
Let us experience the Glory of Your Goodness

From The Belly Of The Whale

So it’s day 9 without the antidepressant medication, I can say that without a doubt I haven’t felt this alive in over a year, each day seems to just get better.

The shakiness and dizzy spells seem to be subsiding as the days go by, Sunday’s loss of coordination seems to be a bit of one off, since then I’ve had the odd lightheaded moment and a few wobbly legged steps, but it’s definitely getting better each day.

I know the anti-depressants did their job when I needed them to, at that point in time I was in a real dark place, but the medication served it’s purpose, I guess though that I got dependant on it and afraid not to take it for fear of falling back into that dark place.  Maybe in the earlier months, that was true, but the last few months it hasn’t been that way.  I am so glad I listened to that voice inside that said “move forward, it’s time”.

I remember just as I was beginning to slip into that dark place, I had a vision, it played like a video in front of my eyes, I saw myself stood on the side of a harbour fishing, when something grabbed the line and pulled me under the water, after a few moments in the distance a whale breached the water and splashed back down and disappeared.

That night I picked up my bible and read the book of Jonah, I felt the vision was telling me I was running away from where God needed me to be.  When I look back now, I know that to be true, but now I feel like the whale has brought me back and spat me back out right where God wants me to be.

It has been a journey of discovery over these last few months too, I’ve still had some good times and great experiences, I’ve still learnt a great deal from the experience, it’s been a time of testing, but I kept praying and asking for strength to make it through, just like my first prayer way back on 21st March 2012, I still ask for strength to keep this journey going and that prayer get’s answered every single day, just like that first prayer.

I’m not entirely sure why, but this song has played on my iPod three times over the last couple of days, I’ve heard this song many times over the last few years, but only now I have really listened to the lyrics, I guess there is a little of my journey in the words.

HELL ON THE THROAT by DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL
A line of strands to mark the trail,
No one said it would be easy.

I must admit I thought the risk was better waged in younger seasons,
But all these years in the cold play hell on the throat
Till everything I say burns like cinders,
Well it’s hard to belong to a girl or a song
And the crease of a strangling winter

It’s strange to be lost, stranger still to belong 
On the strings of a twisting line.

Along the way the turns are sharp,
No one said they would be easy,
I must admit I thought the trip was better in younger seasons.
But all these years in the pursuit made a man of a fool,
Till every word I say is on wavered

Well it’s hard to belong to a girl or a song
In the case of a selfish believer,
It’s strange to be lost and stranger still to belong 
On the strings in a twisting line

Well it’s hard to belong to a girl or a song
In the case of a selfish believer,
It’s strange to be lost and stranger still to belong 
On the strings in a twisting line

And when the path I have made
From the grass to the grave,
I will love you still.
And when the sand turns to glass
And all that’s left is the past
And I will love you still.

Still None The Wiser – A Lion Update!

Okay, so this question of the vision of a Lion on Wednesday evening is rolling on and getting me more and more confused by the minute.

So last night I prayed and asked what the Lion meant, why was I seeing it?  And guess what I then ended up seeing……

A SCARECROW!!!!!!

At this point I’m beginning to think I was going a little bit insane, it certainly wasn’t anything I was expecting to see.  I was wondering if this was just my mind playing tricks on me and I really wasn’t seeing anything, honestly, I really don’t know!

So this morning I started to read up on The Wizard Of Oz and I found that the vision of the scarecrow looked like the actual scarecrow in the film, yes dear old Ray Bolger in all his make-up and hat to boot!

So I looked into the story of the lion and his quest for courage.  I certainly thought it was interesting that the Wizard gave him what appeared to be alcohol to trick him into believing he was courageous.

Oh, hang on a minute, he had alcohol to make him feel brave!!!

Now that sounds familiar!!!

Who does that remind me of?

Oh yes, the old me!!!

The lion was looking for courage, courage which was in him all along, when he needed it, it was there!

I guess the poor lion had a reputation to keep up, it seems he found it hard to do that, he was insecure and fearful, which made he feel inadequate.

Now once again, that sounds familiar, but this time not so much the old me, more like the recent me.

I know I’ve been walking in fear over the last month or so, although I had breakthrough last week and feel like I am beyond that fear now.  Whether or not I’m reading this vision correctly, it has brought me to a big realisation, when I read of the Cowardly Lion, he actually showed great courage in the face of fear, without even realising it.

Now once again, that sounds familiar, none of this journey so far has been easy, it’s been a fight all the way and continues to be, but I’ve made it through, no matter how much fear I’ve felt, I’ve made it this far and still fighting.

Now with regards to the vision on Wednesday evening, as we weren’t actually praying for myself, we were praying for so many other people and needs, I don’t actually believe the vision was for me personally, although I have been able to find some inspiration from it.

So in all honesty I still don’t really know what the vision the other night really means, but I’m sure all will become clear in the near future, but any suggestions and comments would be most welcome.

HOLY by JESUS CULTURE
Just one look on Your face
Just one glance of Your eyes
My whole world is changed
my whole world is changed

Oh I seek only to see Your face
I don’t wanna go anywhere without You God
Without Your presence
Oh let me see Your face
The beauty of Your holiness God
Take me into the holy place

And only one word comes to mind
There’s only one word to describe

Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty

There is no one like You
You are Holy
Holy

Seeing The Vision Of A Lion?

It’s been some time since I’ve had a vision whilst praying, usually this comes when I find my quiet place at night, pray for something and then just wait with my head bowed and eyes closed.  As a result the vision is usually in response to the prayer I have made and how I feel.  Sometimes I don’t quite understand what I’ve seen, so I pray on it over the next morning, usually I get some sort of revelation as to what I’ve seen and how it relates to my prayers, usually a vision of hope for the future.

But last night it was a little different, it happened at our Connect Group as we prayed as a group at the end of the meeting, I wasn’t actually praying at the time, I was just there with my eyes closed, hands together, head lowered, listening and agreeing, then I saw it, a lion’s head, but it didn’t go away, it stayed there almost all the way through our group prayers, I didn’t know or understand why.

I must admit I was a little perplexed as to why I was seeing this and as I was still trying to get my head around what I had seen, I didn’t mention it to the group, not out fear of sounding stupid or anything else, but the conversation and the opportunity as the night drew on did not arise.

So I guess I’m putting this out to my Christian followers, I ask if you can shed any light on the vision.

I understand that Jesus is the Lion of Judah and there are numerous other references to lions in the bible, most specifically I guess is Daniel in the lion’s den, but quite what this has to do with me or our group prayers, I’m not sure.

As a group we were praying for health issues for various people, for our younger members going through exams and for our Church, none of these seemed to refer back to any mention of lions in the bible, although I certainly do not purport to know everything about the bible or neither can I state many bible verses at will, my knowledge is growing, but admittedly after only two years as Christian, I’m still scratching the surface.

So if anyone can shed some light on this or point me in the direction of any writings that may help, I would be extremely grateful.

GOD’S NOT DEAD (LIKE LION) by NEWSBOYS
Let love explode and bring the dead to life
A love so bold to see a revolution somehow
Let love explode and bring the dead to life
A love so bold to bring a revolution somehow

Now I’m lost in Your freedom
In this world I’ll overcome

My God’s not dead
He’s surely alive
He’s living on the inside
Roaring like a lion

My God’s not dead
He’s surely alive
He’s living on the inside
Roaring like a lion

Roaring, He’s roaring, roaring like a lion

Let hope arise and make the darkness hide
My faith is dead I need resurrection somehow

Now I’m lost in Your freedom
In this world I’ll overcome

My God’s not dead
He’s surely alive
He’s living on the inside
Roaring like a lion

My God’s not dead
He’s surely alive
He’s living on the inside
Roaring like a lion

Roaring, He’s roaring, roaring like a lion
He’s roaring, He’s roaring

Let heaven roar
And fire fall
Come shake the ground
With the sound
Of revival

Let heaven roar
And fire fall
Come shake the ground
With the sound
Of revival

Let heaven roar
And fire fall
Come shake the ground
With the sound
Of revival

My God’s not dead
He’s surely alive
He’s living on the inside
Roaring like a lion

My God’s not dead
He’s surely alive
He’s living on the inside
Roaring like a lion

My God’s not dead
He’s surely alive
He’s living on the inside
Roaring like a lion

My God’s not dead
He’s surely alive
He’s living on the inside
Roaring like a lion

He’s roaring, He’s roaring, He’s roaring like a lion
He’s roaring, He’s roaring, He’s roaring like a lion

Fearing Yet Another Fall!

I know I touched on this subject in my post on Wednesday evening, but it seems like this is something that just won’t go away, a feeling, a thought that just keeps coming back into my head and everyday just checks my movement forward.

I know I’ve written about this some time ago, but back in October last year I had a vision, I was simply sat in my living room one Sunday lunchtime and it played out in front of me, like I was watching a video screen, an image of me climbing some steps, only to be washed away by an on rushing tide of water, as the waters kept flowing some time passed and I watched as I stood again and once more tried to make it up the steps, only to be washed away once more, before the vision disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

Just weeks later I found myself in a pit of depression, swinging from being in a constant state of tears to a state of nothingness, a numbness, vacantly staring into nothing.  It affected my work, in fact it was all I could do to stop myself from walking out of my job, I nearly did on a number of occasions, before I found the courage to explain to my colleagues what was happening.

Even my faith was rocked, I found myself distant and unable to give anything in Church and even spent one evening in my Connect Group, just sat there in tears, unable to explain, unable to connect to anyone, I just didn’t know how to feel or what to feel, I certainly didn’t know how to truly express it to anybody.

That was until I made the decision to see a Doctor, I was put on anti-depressants, that was six months ago this coming Tuesday, my first course of tablets will come to an end, but for now I will remain on them.  Once the tablets kicked in things gradually improved and I began to get back to my old self.  There have been the odd lapse, the odd time where I dipped back into those dark days of November, but on the whole it been better, a lot better.

But over this last month now, this vision which preceded this depression has been on my mind, “Am I heading for the second downfall?”

I just can’t help but feel I am heading for another breakdown of sorts, I find myself constantly praying each day for The Lord to just hold on to me, just for a little while longer, to stop me from falling again.  Some days I find encouragement is His word that everything will be okay, then other days I just can’t shake the feeling that it will all come crashing down again.

I know a couple of weeks back I started to go through my drafts of poems from the last few months, I hadn’t written any for a while and started by finishing some old ones, then over this last week I have written a few new ones.  Many are sparked by that feeling of fear of failure once more, I write for help and then I write what I feel is the response to the poem, it becomes a form of prayer and answer conversation, between me and God.

This morning as we prayed in Church, I had what ran through my head was a prayer in the form of poetic words, I felt I should write it down, remember it, but even just a few hours later, I actually couldn’t remember what it was, I can’t remember any of the words, even though I felt them quite profound at the time.

I wanted to post that prayer in the form a poem this evening, but obviously I can’t, as I just can’t remember what it was that was going through my head and the words I used.

But that said, when I tried to remember it earlier, to start to capture what I had in my mind, but couldn’t, I got a deep feeling, that this prayer had been taken from me, I wasn’t to worry about it any more, it was in hand, it was being answered, all in good time, His time.

Honestly, I don’t know what the next few weeks or months will hold, whether I will be wiped out again or whether my prayers will be answered.  It’s a hard fight sometimes, each day I have to live with the consequences of my past, it impossible to get away from without just upping sticks and moving away to a brand new start and that’s not something I wish to do.

I still have a lot of wrongs to right, in many different areas of my life, I fight on many fronts and it can be tiring, it wears me down from time to time, plus that fear of yet another fall lingers strong.

But for tonight, I’m going to have faith that my prayer of earlier has been lifted from me, that I needed worry about what was wrapped up in those words, it’s all in hand, just carry on everything will be all right.

 GRACE AND LOVE by KUTLESS
Many things in life are hard for me 
Many things can pull us down 
I don’t understand why I do what I do 
How could I take my eyes off you 
After all You’ve done for me 
And after all You’ve done for me 

It’s by Your grace and love I am saved 
It’s by Your grace and love You’ve forgiven me 
And by that love and grace I’m amazed 
It’s by Your grace and love I am free 
I am free, I am free, I am free 

And it’s by grace and love that I am free 
I’ll live with You eternally 
I thank you Lord that I am free 
I thank You Lord for loving me 
I thank You Lord for dying upon the tree of Calvary 
I thank You Lord for loving me 
I thank You Lord for dying for me 

Because it’s by grace and love I am saved 
It’s by Your grace and love You’ve forgiven me 
And by that love and grace, I’m amazed 
It’s by Your grace and love I am free 
I am free, I am free, I am free 

Many things in life are hard for me 
Many things can pull us down 
But by grace and love You’ve forgiven me 
And by grace and love we are free