Tag Archives: Water

Elements – Water

Elements – Water

I see the river flow before me
I see the ripple of flowing water
And I stand here on the banks
Just longing to belong
I want to walk within it
But I fear this soul will drown
Be washed away to the nothingness
I feel that I am bound to belong
But is this my reality?
Is this really where I’m bound?

I hear a voice say trust me
I hear a voice say come
Step out into the water
And let My water cleanse your soul

So I here I stand still waiting
For the will to step beyond
All the fear I hold within me
And step to where I belong



Those heavy burdens and some light
The painful burden in the dead of the night
Those carried afar
To those found so near
Their weight burdens a soul
But can you not hear the water
Of the streams running beside you
Can you find the living waters
Beside which you can lay your burdens down
There upon the banks
Leave all that you carry
And walk into the waters
Let the waters wash you clean
The streams that run right from heaven
Where the weak will find their hope
Where the weary lay down their burdens
And all who give them their soul
Will walk free once more

Fearing Yet Another Fall!

I know I touched on this subject in my post on Wednesday evening, but it seems like this is something that just won’t go away, a feeling, a thought that just keeps coming back into my head and everyday just checks my movement forward.

I know I’ve written about this some time ago, but back in October last year I had a vision, I was simply sat in my living room one Sunday lunchtime and it played out in front of me, like I was watching a video screen, an image of me climbing some steps, only to be washed away by an on rushing tide of water, as the waters kept flowing some time passed and I watched as I stood again and once more tried to make it up the steps, only to be washed away once more, before the vision disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

Just weeks later I found myself in a pit of depression, swinging from being in a constant state of tears to a state of nothingness, a numbness, vacantly staring into nothing.  It affected my work, in fact it was all I could do to stop myself from walking out of my job, I nearly did on a number of occasions, before I found the courage to explain to my colleagues what was happening.

Even my faith was rocked, I found myself distant and unable to give anything in Church and even spent one evening in my Connect Group, just sat there in tears, unable to explain, unable to connect to anyone, I just didn’t know how to feel or what to feel, I certainly didn’t know how to truly express it to anybody.

That was until I made the decision to see a Doctor, I was put on anti-depressants, that was six months ago this coming Tuesday, my first course of tablets will come to an end, but for now I will remain on them.  Once the tablets kicked in things gradually improved and I began to get back to my old self.  There have been the odd lapse, the odd time where I dipped back into those dark days of November, but on the whole it been better, a lot better.

But over this last month now, this vision which preceded this depression has been on my mind, “Am I heading for the second downfall?”

I just can’t help but feel I am heading for another breakdown of sorts, I find myself constantly praying each day for The Lord to just hold on to me, just for a little while longer, to stop me from falling again.  Some days I find encouragement is His word that everything will be okay, then other days I just can’t shake the feeling that it will all come crashing down again.

I know a couple of weeks back I started to go through my drafts of poems from the last few months, I hadn’t written any for a while and started by finishing some old ones, then over this last week I have written a few new ones.  Many are sparked by that feeling of fear of failure once more, I write for help and then I write what I feel is the response to the poem, it becomes a form of prayer and answer conversation, between me and God.

This morning as we prayed in Church, I had what ran through my head was a prayer in the form of poetic words, I felt I should write it down, remember it, but even just a few hours later, I actually couldn’t remember what it was, I can’t remember any of the words, even though I felt them quite profound at the time.

I wanted to post that prayer in the form a poem this evening, but obviously I can’t, as I just can’t remember what it was that was going through my head and the words I used.

But that said, when I tried to remember it earlier, to start to capture what I had in my mind, but couldn’t, I got a deep feeling, that this prayer had been taken from me, I wasn’t to worry about it any more, it was in hand, it was being answered, all in good time, His time.

Honestly, I don’t know what the next few weeks or months will hold, whether I will be wiped out again or whether my prayers will be answered.  It’s a hard fight sometimes, each day I have to live with the consequences of my past, it impossible to get away from without just upping sticks and moving away to a brand new start and that’s not something I wish to do.

I still have a lot of wrongs to right, in many different areas of my life, I fight on many fronts and it can be tiring, it wears me down from time to time, plus that fear of yet another fall lingers strong.

But for tonight, I’m going to have faith that my prayer of earlier has been lifted from me, that I needed worry about what was wrapped up in those words, it’s all in hand, just carry on everything will be all right.

Many things in life are hard for me 
Many things can pull us down 
I don’t understand why I do what I do 
How could I take my eyes off you 
After all You’ve done for me 
And after all You’ve done for me 

It’s by Your grace and love I am saved 
It’s by Your grace and love You’ve forgiven me 
And by that love and grace I’m amazed 
It’s by Your grace and love I am free 
I am free, I am free, I am free 

And it’s by grace and love that I am free 
I’ll live with You eternally 
I thank you Lord that I am free 
I thank You Lord for loving me 
I thank You Lord for dying upon the tree of Calvary 
I thank You Lord for loving me 
I thank You Lord for dying for me 

Because it’s by grace and love I am saved 
It’s by Your grace and love You’ve forgiven me 
And by that love and grace, I’m amazed 
It’s by Your grace and love I am free 
I am free, I am free, I am free 

Many things in life are hard for me 
Many things can pull us down 
But by grace and love You’ve forgiven me 
And by grace and love we are free 

Call Me Lord

Call Me Lord

Call me Lord
I need to hear you now
Above the storm
I need your voice
Just call me Lord

Call to me Lord
To step upon the waves
To still the tide
To walk in faith
Just call to me Lord

Catch me Lord
Should fear overcome
If my faith falters
And the waves rise
Just catch me Lord

Be with me Lord
Whatever I face
In fear or in faith
Never leave my side
Just be with me Lord

Written at Amplified, inspired by Naomi Plant