Tag Archives: When You Walk Into The Room

Verse of the Day – Hosea 2:20

Hosea 2:20

Hosea 2:20

It took a great fall for me to let fall my unbelieving heart, but I was given the gift of faith and now I thank the Lord for the life I have, without Him I would not have survived my past.

WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE ROOM by BRYAN & KATIE TORWALT
When You walk into the room
Everything changes
Darkness starts to tremble
At the light that You bring
And when You walk into the room
Every heart starts burning
And nothing matters more
Than just to sit here at Your feet
And worship You
We worship You

We love You
We’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We love You
And we can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

When You walk into the room
Sickness starts to vanish
Every hopeless situation ceases to exist
And when You walk into the room,
The dead begin to rise
‘Cause there is resurrection life
In all You do

We love You
We’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We love You
And we can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

Come and consume, God
All we are
We give You permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You

hhBryan & Katie Torwalt – artist photos
hhBryan & Katie Torwalt – artist photos
hhBryan & Katie Torwalt – artist photos
hhBryan & Katie Torwalt – artist photos

We love You
We’ll never stop
Can’t live without You, Jesus
We love You
And we can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus
Oh how we love You
Oh how we love You

Verse of the Day – John 10:10

John 10:10

John 10:10

For years I let the alcohol steal my life, it took everything I had and did it’s best to take my life, but when I opened the door to Christ, I found life.

WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE ROOM by BRYAN AND KATIE TORWALT
When You walk into the room
Everything changes
Darkness starts to tremble
At the light that you bring
When You walk into the room
Every heart starts burning
Than just to sit here at your feet
And worship you
We worship you

We Love You, and we’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We Love You, We can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

When You walk into the room
Sickness starts to vanish
Every hopeless situation
Ceases to exist
When You walk into the room
The dead begin to rise
Cause there is resurrection life
In all You do

We Love You, and we’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We Love You, We can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

Come and consume God
All we are
We give You permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You

Come and consume God
All we are
We give You permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You

Come and consume God
All we are
We give You permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You

Come and consume God
All we are
We give You permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You

We Love You, and we’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We Love You, We can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

Oh how we love You
Oh how we love You

 

When You Walk Into The Room

A few days ago I picked up my journal from last year, this time last year everything seemed to be going dark, I’ve never been that way before, never felt so distant from the world.  Even in the midst of my deepest drinking, I never felt so low.

I guess in a way, the drinking just masked those feelings.  There was no doubt I had my low points in the last few years of my drinking, you don’t find yourself repeatedly holding a knife to your wrist without being low.  But the ability to turn to your comfort zone of getting slowly drunk, alone, was the way out of feeling that way, there was always a way to control those feelings or so it seemed.  That’s the thing, you’re not really controlling those feelings, just hiding them deep inside, at sometime it all has to come to the surface.

Back in March 2012 those feelings were brought to the surface with a bang and that’s when this amazing journey started.  Quitting the drink was the start of journey of self discovery and a walk with the God I had previously dismissed.

There were some early struggles, fighting the urges to turn back to that comfort zone, especially when the withdrawals kicked in, that little voice inside that said all this can be taken away if you drink again, seemed to get louder and louder, it took some real strength to get through some hard days, strength I found through prayer, not my own strength.

But as the weeks and months passed, everything seemed to be going fine, some ups and downs, but as my journey went along, the more I seemed to grow.

Then as October came around last year, I began to struggle and by this time last year, I was a mess.  I had never felt that way before and thankfully, since.  I found I would just break out crying for no reason, I didn’t know why, I didn’t even know how to feel.

I would find I would become lost, just staring out into nothingness, then I would come back into myself and not know where I was, which wasn’t very convenient at work.  I struggled to sleep and found myself praying at night, that if I did sleep, not to wake in the morning, because I just didn’t want to feel this way anymore.

In the middle of all this, my manager at work decided to put me through my forklift test.  I couldn’t tell anyone at work what was happening, I was doing everything I can to hide it all, cracks were being to show, but everyone was too busy to really notice.

Any other time I would have been happy to take the training and the test, but what bothered me most was that I was struggling to concentrate on anything and these moments where I would find myself drifting off.  The last thing I wanted was to go into one of these moments whilst operating a fork lift. After all, I don’t even drive, I’ve never taken a driving lesson or sat behind the wheel of a car in my life, nevermind a forklift.

After two days of training, it came time to take the test, with the watchful eyes of my work colleagues looking on too.  But I found a way to get through the test, to keep my mind on what I had to do and ultimately to pass the test without any problems, it came through the words of a song.

When you walk into the room
Everything changes
Darkness starts to tremble
At the light that you bring
And when you walk into the room
Every heart starts burning
And nothing matters more
Than just to sit here at your feet
And worship you
We worship you

Every time I felt doubt, I sang this song to myself, somehow it kept me in the now, rather than drift off to place I didn’t need to be going.  I had recently come across the Bryan & Katie Torwalt song and found some peace through it, I’m not sure why this was the song that came into my head when I needed it, but I’m glad it did, it brought me comfort and clarity when I needed it most, it reminded me of where I had previously found the strength to get through.

Once again a song became my comfort when I needed it, so many times along this journey have the words of a song inspired me in my low times, so many times I have been spoken to by the words of a song when I needed it.  When I look back to the three years before I quit drinking, when my habit and my problems were at their worst, there were songs that were speaking to me then, although I didn’t know it.

WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE ROOM by BRYAN & KATIE TORWALT
When You walk into the room
Everything changes
Darkness starts to tremble
At the light that you bring
When You walk into the room
Every heart starts burning
Than just to sit here at your feet
And worship you
We worship you

We Love You, and we’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We Love You, We can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

When You walk into the room
Sickness starts to vanish
Every hopeless situation
Ceases to exist
When You walk into the room
The dead begin to rise
Cause there is resurrection life
In all You do

We Love You, and we’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We Love You, We can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

Come and consume God
All we are
We give You permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You

Come and consume God
All we are
We give You permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You

Come and consume God
All we are
We give You permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You

Come and consume God
All we are
We give You permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You

We Love You, and we’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We Love You, We can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

Oh how we love You
Oh how we love You

Verse of the Day – Revelation 3:20

Revelation 3:20

Revelation 3:20

Last year when I was in the midst of depression, I was put through some training at work that I really wasn’t in the frame of mind for, when it came to the test I sang the lyrics to “When You Walk Into The Room” over and over in my head, I had to remind myself to open the door to Him, there was no way I could do it on my own, I needed Jesus, but I had to open myself up to Him, stop shutting myself off in a room of my own isolation.

WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE ROOM by BRYAN & KATIE TORWALT
When you walk into the room
Everything changes
Darkness starts to tremble
At the light that you bring
And when you walk into the room
Every heart starts burning
And nothing matters more
Than just to sit here at your feet
And worship you
We worship you

We love you
We’ll never stop
We can’t live without you, Jesus
We love you
And we can’t get enough
All this is for you, Jesus

When you walk into the room
Sickness starts to vanish
Every hopeless situation ceases to exist
And when you walk into the room,
The dead begin to rise
‘Cause there is resurrection life
In all You do

Come and consume, God
All we are
We give you permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You

Verse of the Day – Proverbs 4:20-22

Proverbs 4:20-22

Proverbs 4:20-22

There are time when I need verses like this one, just a timely reminder to hang on to His word.

WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE ROOM by BRYAN & KATIE TORWALT
When you walk into the room
Everything changes
Darkness starts to tremble
At the light that you bring
And when you walk into the room
Every heart starts burning
And nothing matters more
Than just to sit here at your feet
And worship you
We worship you

We love you
We’ll never stop
We can’t live without you, Jesus
We love you
And we can’t get enough
All this is for you, Jesus

When you walk into the room
Sickness starts to vanish
Every hopeless situation ceases to exist
And when you walk into the room,
The dead begin to rise
‘Cause there is resurrection life
In all You do

Come and consume, God
All we are
We give you permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You

Verse of the Day – Psalm 32:3-7

Psalm 32:3-7

Psalm 32:3-7

Two years ago this evening I started a new path to a new life, I finally admitted I had a problem and need help, what an amazing journey to be on.

WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE ROOM by BRYAN & KATIE TORWALT
When You walk into the room, everything changes
Darkness starts to tremble at the light that you bring
When You walk into the room, every heart starts burning
And nothing matters more than just to sit here at Your feet and worship You

We Love You, and we’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We Love You, We can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

When You walk into the room, sickness starts to vanish
Every hopeless situation, ceases to exist
When You walk into the room, The dead begin to rise
Cause there is resurrection life in all You do

We Love You, and we’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We Love You, We can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

Come and consume God, all we are
We give You permission, our hearts are Yours
We want You, We want You

Verse of the Day – Psalm 56:3-4

Psalm 56:3-4

Psalm 56:3-4

Nothing I face now is as bad as where I was two years ago, therefore I trust in God so I can face it without be afraid.

WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE ROOM by BRYAN & KATIE TORWALT
When You walk into the room, everything changes
Darkness starts to tremble at the light that you bring
When You walk into the room, every heart starts burning
And nothing matters more than just to sit here at Your feet and worship You

We Love You, and we’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We Love You, We can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

When You walk into the room, sickness starts to vanish
Every hopeless situation, ceases to exist
When You walk into the room, The dead begin to rise
Cause there is resurrection life in all You do

Come and consume God, all we are
We give You permission, our hearts are Yours
We want You, We want You

Daily Improvements

It would seem that each day is actually getting a little easier, I am definitely beginning to feel as though I am getting back to some sort of normal again, there are still some lingering side effects, but in general I do feel a lot better.

Although I’ve been off work the last few days, I have done some work for the Architect’s which has kept me occupied and hasn’t been as stressful as it had been over the last few weeks.  I’m glad I told them any work last week would have to wait, okay I may not get any money from them for sometime, but I was at lot more comfortable working on my terms.

My frustration and anger are a lot more controllable now, I’m seemed to lose control very easily in the past month, which was one of the things I feared about looking after the kids, if they kick off how would I react, luckily they haven’t and I actually now feel I have control back.

At my Connect Group meeting last night I felt like I was part of the meeting for the first time in weeks, not completely detached and in tears like two weeks ago or a bit part player like I have been over the last month or so, my concentration is returning and I can focus now, I don’t find myself just staring out into nothing, this was something that was happening quite a bit, I would find myself just drifting off then not knowing where I was or what I was doing for a moment.

There are still things about myself I’m not happy with at the moment, I still get trapped in my own head from time to time, but on the whole I certainly feel like the medication is working and I coming out the other side of yet another trial.

The kids and I had a film night this evening, we watched Despicable Me 2 on DVD with pop corn, they want to do it again, so probably Monday night we’ll have another film night.  I have to say they have been fantastic so far, I couldn’t have asked for them to be any better behaved.

Last night I was reminded of something I was doing a few weeks back when I was at work, when things weren’t going very well and on a couple of occasions I was close to just grabbing my things and walking out, I would find myself working away from others and quietly singing a few lines from this song over and over again, it helped me get through some tough moments, it something I should keep doing.

WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE ROOM by BRYAN & KATIE TORWALT
When You walk into the room, everything changes
Darkness starts to tremble at the light that you bring
When You walk into the room, every heart starts burning
And nothing matters more than just to sit here at Your feet and worship You

We Love You, and we’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We Love You, We can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

When You walk into the room, sickness starts to vanish
Every hopeless situation, ceases to exist
When You walk into the room, The dead begin to rise
Cause there is resurrection life in all You do

Come and consume God, all we are
We give You permission, our hearts are Yours
We want You, We want You

Unleash: The Return

Last year’s Unleash event was a massive breakthrough for me, as I’ve discussed before I got to let out a lot of what was trapped inside, I told my story in all it’s gory detail, to say it broke a few chains was an understatement. Last year though I was on roll, I was doing well and approached it knowing it was going to be the leap forward that it turned out to be.

This year though, the build up for me has been somewhat different, almost a complete opposite of where I was last year, this year the approach to the event has been dogged by my own state of mind, not eager anticipation, something far worse, in all honesty bordering on depression, my own mind has been haunting me over these last two weeks.

But I’ve just been pushing on, trying to drive through, trying to bury these feelings, kept them mostly inside and tried to give the impression that I’m okay.

The reality is I haven’t been, I’ve been struggling, I haven’t been eating properly or even drinking properly. At work I’ve just been getting stuck in with my job, by my own choice just working through, skipping lunch and even finding myself not having a single drink throughout my long day, it’s left me worn out and tired.

So I went to Unleash yesterday, knowing I had to stop hiding and admit firstly to myself where I was, but more importantly admit it to others.

Last night’s preach by Gareth hit the nail on the head, he pointed out how we as men fail to deal with our insecurities, it was just what I needed to hear.

Following that we had an impromptu match of five a side football, that lasted until midnight, it was great fun and good social time, even though between that and this afternoon’s matches, we all ended up battered and bruised.  My shins are missing a few patches of skin and I’m certainly not the only one!

After chatting through my issues with Tim, my room mate for the night, I turned in to get some sleep at about 2am.

Then at just after 3am, I woke, wide awake and thinking about a vision I had had just before going to sleep. Needless to say it pointed me to the book of Jonah, which I then proceeded to read, that’s when I realised I’m running away from where God wants me to be too, I’m running away and hiding from the people who can help me, the people which were sharing the same building as me at this very moment, purely by hiding my feelings, it was time to stop, the messages were clear.

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

So today and indeed the whole weekend has been another big step forward. Even though the truth has been painful at times (the football bruises also) it’s been a great weekend and great time spent with great friends.

I’ve been pretty honest with where I am at the moment, I spoken to both Gareth and Justin, my Pastors, about where I am and how I’ve been feeling, I’ve also arranged to meet with my Connect Group leaders before our meeting on Wednesday to speak with them about it all too.

I’m putting steps in place and dealing with it, I’m beyond hiding now, I did that before and look where that got me, an addiction, lost love and suicide moments, that could have been disastrous, there’s no way I’m going back to that.

I maybe be tired now after just an hours sleep and all the football, but it’s a completely different kind of tired to the feelings I arrived with, I’m not worn anymore, just tired, I’m refreshed even if everything in my life isn’t right and I believe there is still more to come following this weekend, God is certainly moving for me at the moment.

I know I’m in no way the only one to get something out of this weekend, I don’t actually think anyone there can say they haven’t learnt something or indeed something about themselves from the weekend.

WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE ROOM by BRYAN & KATIE TORWALT
When You walk into the room, everything changes
Darkness starts to tremble at the light that you bring
When You walk into the room, every heart starts burning
And nothing matters more than just to sit here at Your feet and worship You

We Love You, and we’ll never stop
We can’t live without You, Jesus
We Love You, We can’t get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

When You walk into the room, sickness starts to vanish
Every hopeless situation, ceases to exist
When You walk into the room, The dead begin to rise
Cause there is resurrection life in all You do

Come and consume God, all we are
We give You permission, our hearts are Yours
We want You, We want You