It’s seems like an age since I sat down to write anything of substance, these last three weeks have been so busy. Over the last three weeks I’ve put in almost 40 hours of CAD work on top of my daily job and teaching karate. Needless to say it’s not left an awful lot of time for writing, I had so many ideas a few weeks ago, now I can hardly remember what they were, maybe I will come back to them one day.
I have still managed a couple of poems in that time, a couple of which I really connected with, firstly Never?
NEVER?
Is this you or I?
If I never fly
I will never come crashing down
If I never try
I will never fail
If I never love
I will never feel the pain
But consider this…
To never run
Is to never win the race
To never try
Is to never succeed
To never practice
Is to never perfect
To never fail
Is to never learn
To never fall
Is to never recover
To never let go
Is to never be free
To never hope
Is to never believe
To never love
Is to never live
I’m not sure quite how I was feeling when I wrote this, I’m not even sure whether I wrote it for myself or to just help others, but I believe every word of it.
And then secondly Release The Fear….
RELEASE THE FEAR
There are things buried
Deep within our stories
With a need for release
No one says it will be easy
To share our deepest
Is to face a fear
To fight a fear
Release the fear
And let it fly
Release it into the light
Where even the darkest shadows
Cannot hide
In the light it finds the truth
And there it becomes no more
The thing about Release The Fear, is the way I actually wrote it. It wasn’t something that had been floating around my mind for a few days or a couple of lines that suddenly began speaking to me, that I then formed a poem around, these are usually the way in which I write my poems, but this one was completely different and probably received the most comments I’ve had for a poem in while.
It came about on Wednesday evening, as usual Wednesday is our Connect Group evening and I got to talk about my biggest fear when everything in my life collapsed a couple of years ago, the fear of how I would be perceived when people heard what I had become. I feared being labelled, rather than being helped, I feared being shunned, rather than accepted, alas all those fears were for nothing, as I was more than accepted, my scars and sin, none of that mattered at all, only building the new me. So I shared all those fears with my group, painful to recall though they can be, sometimes you just have to release them.
So when I came home, I prepared my Verse of the Day post and then sat down to write my journal, just as I normally would. I wrote about the evening and my feelings, then in the last paragraph at the bottom of the page, I wrote what would become the poem Release The Fear. Why I wrote this in the way I that I did, I honestly do not know. I looked at it immediately after I had finished my entry and thought instantly I had to make this into a poem, but I was so tired I left it. So Thursday evening I typed it out, I changed the words from my to our and there it was, almost verbatim that I had written the night before.
I’ve never written anything that was so fluent, where it wrote itself without any conscious input from myself, it just flowed from the pen to the paper like never before.
I’ve got another busy week ahead, so I’m not sure whether I’ll get chance to write much this week, but we’ll see.
I KNOW IT HURTS by ALTER BRIDGE
And you say this ain’t living
You say you can’t go on
They only take as you’re given
And now your hope is all but gone
Though you lost your way (now is not forever)
But I know your pain
We all fall sometimes you’re not the first
But I know it hurts
Yeah I know it hurts
In the end you’ll find what you deserve
Still I know it hurts
Yeah I know it hurts
Ohhhh…
And the tide’s only rising
The storm is on it’s way… yeah
But you can’t keep on fighting
So battleworn and so afraid
Though it’s sad and wrong
I hope you will remember
That you must carry on
We all fall sometimes you’re not the first
But I know it hurts
Yeah I know it hurts
In the end you’ll find what you deserve
Still I know it hurts
Yeah I know it hurts
There’s still tomorrow
Hold on
Hold on
There’s still tomorrow
Just wait
Just wait
There’s still tomorrow
Hold on
Hold on
We all fall sometimes you’re not the first
But I know it hurts
Yeah I know it hurts
In the end you’ll find what you deserve
Still I know it hurts
Yeah I know it hurts