Breaking Down Old Habits

Daily Prompt: Breakdown

This morning one of my more niggling habits resurfaced…

…SELF DOUBT

It get’s to me quite often, it brings me down every now and again, just like last Sunday, when Crying In The Dark was where I found myself.  This morning was a little different, it wasn’t as deep as Sunday, just that simple doubt, that call out to above…

“Why Me?”
“What makes me worth all the effort?”

It was that simple feeling, why bother with me, why save me when I’m not worth  saving.

The thing was I got me answer there and then, if you’ve read the poem “Rejoice” that I posted earlier today, you will see the questions I was asking, my self doubt was rising, but then I instantly received an answer, no sooner as I had asked the question were the lines of the response running through my head, I desperately tried to remember each line, until I got to work and could write them down.

This isn’t an isolated incident, quite a lot of my poetry is born from those moments of self doubt, they always seem to come when I’m questioning myself or my faith.  I’m glad they do, they rebuild my faith, maybe that’s why many follow the same theme of questions or answers or are just simple declarations of faith.

When I first started to write and post poetry at the end of last year, I was very insecure about posting it, never sure how it would be received or indeed how I felt about it, some I really do like, some I wrote and somehow never really connected with, some grew on me, some I still really don’t like.  There is still an element of insecurity about it, but I’m far more comfortable with it now that I was before, in fact some I am very proud of, there are a number that I return to from time to time to inspire myself, recalling the words and the feelings that surround them.

I guess if it helps to fight a niggling habit, then I will keep writing and keep posting.

SPIRIT SPEAKS by KNOW HOPE COLLECTIVE
Your Spirit speaks 
It moves in me 
And I’m awakened to Your love 
You’re drawing me 
On to my knees 
And I’m astounded by Your love 

You spoke life into my lungs 
You are the air I breathe 
You are the air I breathe 
Still You move inside of me 
You are the song I sing 
You are the song I sing Jesus 
You cover me 
With arms that reach 
And I’m amazed by Your sweet grace 
You set me free 
And You washed me clean 
And I’m forgiven by Your grace 

With every breath I breathe 
With every song I sing 
I want to shout it out 
Lord I am listening 
To every word You speak 
I’ll go where You will lead 
To love the least of these 
My greatest offering